Thursday, 29 December 2011

KA-BLOOM!

Merry New Year! Or almost, in a couple of days. You'll probably read this in 2012, though, so it doesn't matter.

Haven't been in any Christmas spirit thanks to the damn army, but I'm still going to list the gifts I got like I do every year. I won't take any pictures this time, though, because I just can't be bothered. Damn army!
I got candy, sports clothing, the fifth season of McCloud on DVD, a film called True Gun on DVD, a Terence Hill film called Man of the East on DVD, a John Wayne film called The Barbarian and the Geisha on DVD, a book about the artist Kaj Stenvall, a Kaj Stenvall calendar, an oddly official and fancy Disney's Mickey Mouse notebook that is so fancy I won't dare to ever write anything in it, AND I got Saints Row: The Third for PS3.
I wasn't supposed to get anything much for Christmas this year because my mother already bought me a new PS3 when my old one broke and she also decided to pay for the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim hat I got last month, and those were chalked up to being early Christmas gifts because I wouldn't stop insisting on paying for them myself.

Already finished Saints Row: The Third once and it's the new walkthrough I'll start uploading today. Fun game. I like how the game is so insane that absolutely anything can happen, but it still feels like the feet are somehow kept on the ground. I also really like the amount of character customization and the freedom of changing your character completely during the game whenever you want after the first two missions if you get bored of looking the same all the time.
I thought the best person suited for the action in this game, or any game ever made, was Cate Archer so I created her once I found the the go-go suit.
Seriously, Cate Archer is the most beautiful video game character ever and has been into more shit than most video game characters combined. In fact, a lot of actions sequences in Saints Row: The Third bring into mind the No One Lives Forever games. Does freefalling from an airplane without a parachute while gunning down goons ring any bells? Yup, NOLF had that and Saints Row the Third has that.
I also created a perfect lookalike of Agent 47 from Hitman, but switched back to Cate because, quite frankly, Cate has breasts. Cate's breasts beat anything. In fact, Cate herself refers to them as good "weapons" in NOLF1 chapter titled "A Man of Influence" when Tom Goodman wonders how she's going to get to Dumas, and in a game as crazy as Saints Row the Third you need all the special weapons you can get. Also, I'm a lonely heterosexual young adult male, I like breasts. What's so wrong with that? While were on the subject of breasts, Saints Row the Third also has excellent breast physics, best I have seen. Only problem is that large breasts in the game look ugly, so you're better off going with smaller ones. Mmmm, breasts...

Oh, I also got 50 euros from relatives so I went and spent it right after Christmas (I don't have a lot of relatives).
You remember that top ten most wanted games list I did a long, long time ago? Remember game #3 from that list, Maximo vs Army of Zin? Just try and guess where I'm going with this.
Yes, I bought it. New copy, too. Been hunting for it since 2003... or was it even earlier since I learned about it from a demo and a preview article? Anyway, it's instances like these that give life a meaning. You look for something, and almost a decade later you find it. I'm almost not even bothered by the fact that I don't have any time to actually play it until next summer thanks to this army business, because I have obligations as a YouTube Partner and must spend the next 11 days recording, editing and uploading just so that the Fullscreen people don't think I'm a complete shithead that disappears into thin air for 6 months. I know I've already proven that I am, but I don't want THEM to think that.
Fucking army. Would it be too much to ask for world peace and laws against military training for the start of 2012?

I bet that right when I'm returning home later next year I'll get run over by a bus before I get to my PS2. It would be just my luck.

1 comment:

  1. I love to play this action-adventure open world video game. In this game players can use any weapons or vehicles which is include in this game to complete its task.

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