tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62900963711025456062024-02-19T06:21:24.433+02:00JohnnyFox's NewsCastJohnny Fox shares his thoughts and updates.
This is JohnnyFox's NewsCast!Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.comBlogger321125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-72250554865368763022013-01-30T16:24:00.000+02:002013-01-30T16:24:06.283+02:00What's this?!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.johnnydfox.com/">http://www.johnnydfox.com/</a></div>
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What's that all about? Looks familiar somehow... Oh, right, I bought the domain and some hosting space and now johnnydfox.com is mine once again (in case you didn't know, I had it once upon a time). If you've heard me complain about it's vertical price before, know that I did not pay the asked amount for it. I didn't even have that much money at hand, but you see, closer inspection of Internet business practices revealed to me that when purchasing existing domain names one should always expect to be able to get about a 75% discount to the public asking price, and what I did was I did an inquiry on the actual price I could get it for and shaved off a tidy sum.</div>
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So, now I have a website again. What will I do with it? I don't know. I guess I'll update it and shit. What do you do with websites? Look at them? I guess that's what I'll do with it, look at it. Could also start posting blog posts on the front page there, maybe my newest YouTube videos too... I could even release videos early on the site with the unlisted option. The most biggest thing I was thinking about using the website for is giveaways. I have at least 4 giveaways coming and the site is a good place for people to sign up for them.</div>
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So, whether you care or not, I'm giving you the heads up that johnnydfox.com is back. Do what you will with the information.</div>
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Be seeing you.</div>
Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-31362909664077108022013-01-09T22:44:00.002+02:002013-01-09T22:47:33.182+02:00Recap of 2012: The Frightening Sequel<div style="text-align: justify;">
Not talking about the film, by the way.<br />
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Oh, what happened after Dishonored's release? Let me think.<br />
I know I played and recorded <b>Costume Quest</b> for Halloween and would've recorded Grubbins On Ice as well but unfortunately the videos weren't very popular and Naughty Bear: Panic in Paradise was getting so many views I decided to focus on it instead. Costume Quest is quite fun and I recommend it to people who haven't played it yet, although I highly recommend it to be played on Halloween for the obvious reasons.<br />
Halloween overall for me wasn't very special this time around, usually I've played some scary games and then watched great movies all day and night on Halloween, but now I just gave my mother <b>Ghostbusters the Video Game</b> and watched her play through it in a day.<br />
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Leading up to Halloween I did play and finally finish <b>Ghost Master</b>, and my opinion didn't change anywhere; the game is very disappointing and yet I still wish they could have made a Ghost Master 2 and improve on everything that didn't work in the first game. The idea has great potential, I just really don't like the execution. The humour and references, the music and the level and ghost concepts are good, the gameplay is unpolished crap and after the first scares and solved puzzles the completion of the levels becomes dull waiting for the characters' fright/insanity bars to fill up as the final goal is always to scare everyone living away. The random Sims AI of the people you must scare also ruins many of the puzzles which I personally found to be the meat of the levels, as sometimes I just simply wasn't able to lead the stupid humans to where I needed and occasionally the ghost powers required to solve problems didn't seem to affect the correct people, making me either wait for an immoderate amount of time or just outright restart a level in hopes of better luck.</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRyipByn3_QTeIvo52FBPXYh3Fb2Te3IFYF3h4IC2UFUPBs3ZwHAT7kPYsNR9t5KTKMPXGf6lxKO3A5chxVpukf0U9abDFtCEaJiYvbbgJoSOfYOkUDBvI_kVA46jT4WImH6BroQ49gC8/s1600/ghostmaster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRyipByn3_QTeIvo52FBPXYh3Fb2Te3IFYF3h4IC2UFUPBs3ZwHAT7kPYsNR9t5KTKMPXGf6lxKO3A5chxVpukf0U9abDFtCEaJiYvbbgJoSOfYOkUDBvI_kVA46jT4WImH6BroQ49gC8/s320/ghostmaster.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Annoying puzzle: How to get stupid AI to go into a room<br />
and pick up a book after you have cleared the door and laid<br />
the book on the ground? You wait. Can't do anything else.<br />
Or use an Obsession power, and then wait.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I once, long time ago when I hadn't yet played it, read an <a href="http://onlyagame.typepad.com/only_a_game/2005/09/post_mortem_gho.html" target="_blank">article about why Ghost Master failed, a post mortem,</a> written by it's game designer. Reading through it would make you believe Ghost Master is a hidden jewel, a truly innovative masterpiece that never succeeded because of mostly just bad luck, bad marketing and wrong crowds playing it. I don't know if the problem in my case is that I'm in the wrong crowd of gamers or what, so just to make it easier for you to decide let me tell you something about myself: my favourite strategy game of all time <span style="font-size: x-small;">(currently)</span> is Evil Genius, I don't care much for RTS games other than the type of Commandos where you control a small team of specialized units at <span style="font-size: x-small;">(in my case)</span> a casual pace, and as far as the genres go I tend to prefer turn-based strategy instead. RTS games where you need to quickly control a number of units here and there and give specific orders to specific units fast or lose aren't my cup of tea at all, and from reading the post mortem of Ghost Master you'd think the game would be perfect for me, right? However, that talk of not being in direct control over your haunters is total bullshit.<br />
Ok, let's take the level The Unusual Suspects, one of my favourites of the early stages, for an example. In this level your goal, as per usual, is to scare everyone away from a building, here a police station. Admittedly the first 2-5 minutes of the gameplay are spent on observing the level layout, locating and then completing the on-average three puzzles you can do to unlock new haunters and warm up the people for a night of horror by causing rain in the waiting room to just build belief in the supernatural and keep frightening the people locked in the cells for some easy starting ectoplasm as the jailbirds can't leave the place, and it's all fun and good and you're enjoying yourself. Then you start the actual scaring, and what happens for the next 10-50 minutes <span style="font-size: x-small;">(the level completion times can indeed fluctuate that badly)</span> you may ask? The Sim-people run around the entirety of the level from basement to the darkest unreachable <span style="font-size: x-small;">(to you, at least)</span> street at the edge of the stage while you try your best to keep up by placing and then replacing haunters from fetter to fetter, giving new, specified orders constantly. Yes, YOU directly control where exactly your haunters will appear, limited by the amount, type and locations of fetters they can be chained to, YOU directly control which powers they use, and YOU CAN directly control whether they focus on some specific person on the level. The haunters can learn to obey very specific, direct commands and do not do anything on their own unless given orders to, in some specific cases, use their own AI as limited by their fetters and availability of the type of orders. The game always becomes a frantic moving of haunters from one place to another and then another because of limited amount of both haunters and the ectoplasm that governs how many of your haunters and their powers can be active in the level at the same time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXowIS-d1VmUZ6c2xeuyIje2nlGIiIotbv-mzmIf7pE4Uxy-2tpOIJ1EAw7NUZgcJJiGGJfRIrEMkpkB_PMPTNVb_jDzaTBJKjSqWuKLn1LF9-kpRCWopzJJw5m9QijJAi7mTeXrOa4VY/s1600/ghostmaster2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXowIS-d1VmUZ6c2xeuyIje2nlGIiIotbv-mzmIf7pE4Uxy-2tpOIJ1EAw7NUZgcJJiGGJfRIrEMkpkB_PMPTNVb_jDzaTBJKjSqWuKLn1LF9-kpRCWopzJJw5m9QijJAi7mTeXrOa4VY/s320/ghostmaster2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe my favourite level, called "The Ghostbreakers"<br />
A professional team of ghost eradicators have set up anti-<br />
ghost force fields and alarms in the local police station.<br />
Problem: How to get in there to haunt? Fun puzzle.</td></tr>
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The AI of the humans in the game is so random that there is no room for "planning" or "anticipation" because they might be walking towards a certain room at one moment, then quickly and for no reason turn around and go the other way for a second before going back where they originally came from. They can run away so fast that they've left the small room before your haunters have actually appeared in there or activated their next power and whenever the people momentarily leave the level or at least the area you have any control in, which they often do to get a breather before later returning, they walk back so slow you might as well go get a sandwich. And yes, of course any small fright will then make them run away out of your reach again, and yes, their fright bars fill up ever so slowly. Once all this "action" starts in every level everything will be happening so fast all around the place that you no longer have a chance to enjoy the cool sounding ghost powers, and the much talked about casual, adaptive tactical gameplay is gone. After the first 5 minutes of a level you might as well be playing an RTS game where you individually control a number of units around the map yourself, and a very boring and horrifyingly repetitive, broken, unintuitive RTS game at that.<br />
That is my problem with the game.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2YvuD0UWHFUoN2H5wYHTQl1O6beDLFJU3ju75c7Svk0_VcZsdQCzVstEtKBuUcfUAUGoMqsS-V3WLcVvlGUU77ap_Oy5B5XC2pORlObIM2a_KjwBuQQGLqAGH4sgGhzm7MftKxlhyphenhyphenro/s1600/zombiedots.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH2YvuD0UWHFUoN2H5wYHTQl1O6beDLFJU3ju75c7Svk0_VcZsdQCzVstEtKBuUcfUAUGoMqsS-V3WLcVvlGUU77ap_Oy5B5XC2pORlObIM2a_KjwBuQQGLqAGH4sgGhzm7MftKxlhyphenhyphenro/s1600/zombiedots.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dots. Better than Ghost Master?<br />
Sadly I cannot find the actual game I played<br />
that featured dot zombies. Wish I could.</td></tr>
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I once came across a zombie simulation online. It was a black box filled with moving dots of different colours, one colour being a zombie that then infected the other dots it came in range with, turning them into new zombie dots. For a bunch of moving dots in a box this was fascinating enough to stare at for 15 minutes, but a strategy game was then made from that idea where YOU strategically placed the zombies around the map yourself, aiming to infect everyone before the armed forces on the map killed all the zombies away, making for an incredibly addicting and fun gameplay. In essence, that game was what Ghost Master tried to be. You placed specialized units on a map with the AI controlled units either fleeing from or attacking yours, and the goal was to empty the area. The key was careful observation of the placement of obstacles and units and anticipation of their movements. Once you placed a unit, you watched it work it's magic on it's own. Ghost Master offers nothing as engaging or entertaining like that.<br />
Ok, Ghost Master has it's fanbase as well and I didn't hate every single second of playing it myself. In fact I almost loved playing the last and third to last levels. The thing is, every piece of crap has it's fans and nearly every piece of crap has it's moments of glory. I once knew a guy who said Crime Life: Gang Wars was his favourite game of all time. Incidentally he actually died soon after stating that, and I theorize that it was his bad taste and the bad games he played that killed him. There is also a reason for why I personally liked the final levels of Ghost Master; they are the ones where you start out with considerably more interesting objectives than just outright scaring everyone, as first you must combo the powers of your haunters to successfully smuggle some of them past anti-haunting force fields to sabotage the anti-haunting security devices, before you're forced to, again, start chasing the AI with your haunters like you were trying to catch greased pigs in heels. Only catching greased pigs, whether it's you in heels or them, is always more interesting than Ghost Master.<br />
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This recap will continue before the year 2014.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Ghost Master images from <a href="http://www.visualwalkthroughs.com/ghostmaster/ghostmaster.htm" target="_blank">VisualWalkthroughs.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Zombie Infection Simulation from <a href="http://kevan.org/proce55ing/zombies/" target="_blank">http://kevan.org/proce55ing/zombies/</a></span></div>
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Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-87140333653995069832013-01-01T23:12:00.000+02:002013-01-01T23:12:58.331+02:00Happy New Year 2013!It is 2013, right? Good.<br />
So, another year lived down. I briefly visited the army again at the start of 2012 and quickly left again with bad knees and for the rest of it I spent a lot of money on new video games and a lot of time procrastinating when I should've written blog posts and recorded videos, but that's all something I probably did write about previously.<br />
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A few things I don't think I wrote about since it was ages ago I last posted anything here.<br />
I played <b>Max Payne 3</b>, on Hard difficulty from the getgo no less. It's pretty good, started out as awesome, but I was a bit disappointed with it at the end. The damn awful loading times (hidden behind cutscenes but still) make it a painful second playthrough, the arcade mode is nearly unplayable because of the loading and that mode's something that could've kept me playing on, and I felt the story was largely meh at times, like scenes were artificially made longer just to have enough footage to cover the loading screens. Some bits of writing were substandard considering the usually outstanding writing we've come to expect from Rockstar Games, and I personally hate the colour/blur/distortion effect.<br />
I bought, played and recorded <b>Naughty Bear: Panic in Paradise</b>, but that you probably already knew since I uploaded it last November. I was excited when I heard about the disguise system and other new abilities, but sadly it wasn't nearly as good as I had expected. I enjoyed the dark humour and the narrative in the original Naughty Bear, but Panic in Paradise has no narrative and instead of dark humour it's just plain dark when it's not dull or glitching and kills are shared between weapons so even though you are offered a good hundred items to kill with, as far as the animations go you only really have a handful. Even at it's best the game is just more of the basic gameplay of Naughty Bear with none of the flavour that made it special.<br />
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As a big stealth man I, naturally, bought and played <b>Dishonored</b> on release day, and it's a good game. It's very reminiscent of the Thief series in many ways, but goes it's own route so much that I wouldn't really say a fan of Thief would definitely be a fan of Dishonored. Instead of open like in Thief the levels in Dishonored are more in alternate paths and choices, and there is no reason to go through more than one path in one playthrough (it is often impossible anyway) and Dishonored is at it's best when you take advantage of the tools and play ever so slightly more aggressively, whereas Thief was at it's best when played with absolute stealth.<br />
There are some problems with Dishonored and in my usual fashion I'll pick it apart as well: the enemy detection is so buggy that I highly recommend playing it on Normal difficulty even if you're big on stealth games like me, because all the improved vision, hearing and reaction times of the guards on the harder difficulties do is make it clear just how broken the system behind it can be. The randomization of things in Dishonored bugs me a bit, because while it can be entertaining on several playthroughs, it annoys me immensely that some interesting bits of text from books and enemy dialogue can only be experienced on SOME playthroughs, and it especially annoyed me when recording my walkthrough that the steam-room assassination of one of the Pendleton brothers wasn't available to me. Yes, an entire kill sequence, a pretty entertaining at that, is only randomly available to the player and you may be forced to do a boring old stab or rat attack at other times. Killing the Pendletons is actually one of the most boring tasks to accomplish in the game anyway, so I don't see why the steam room kill couldn't just be set to always be available to you. Rewiring alarm panels ahead of time NEVER works for me as the alarms will still ring eventually, only it might take up to a half a minute longer in which case I might as well not ring the alarm at all, and enemies can apparently trigger the alarms WITHOUT actually activating them, which I noticed during my walkthrough. I thought they were supposed to run to the panels to activate them when they see Corvo, but I guess not. Or perhaps that was a repeating glitch? I also feel that many of the powers available to Corvo are there only to make you feel like you have choices even though only some are really useful or work at all and I'm fairly certain most people who play Dishonored will have unlocked all the powers they want before they're halfway through the game. Turning knocked out/killed enemies to ash? Might just be me but I really don't see the point in that no matter how you play. Dark Vision, for me anyway, ruins the fun and atmosphere of sneaking around and it has such a short range anyway that might as well not use it. Vitality and adrenaline, while pointless to a stealth game fans, I could see as potential choices for somebody who just fights his way through everyone, but the wind blowing power, whenever I used it, never did anything even at level 2. Possession is an easy way to get one of the trophies but I have to personally plan and work to try and make it more useful than simply sneaking past things, and the rest of the powers are something you almost can't be without. Blink 2 is almost mandatory since the entire game was planned around the power, faster moving and double jump are required for navigation of the more complex areas as Corvo can't jump for shit, and who doesn't want to stop time, although I admit I also often forget I even have that power since I do just fine without it. So there, those are all the powers you can have, and I personally always end up with more runes than I can spend.<br />
But regardless of some of the game's shortcomings and despite it not being even close to the top of the list of my favourite stealth-based video games, it is still a good game that will surely warrant several playthroughs and I can easily recommend to people. I am very grateful for the fact that it exists and that along with the releases of other games like Hitman: Absolution, Far Cry 3 and Mark of the Ninja this year and Deus Ex: HR and Batman: Arkham City last year, and the surprising popularity of all those games, stealth games may just sneak back into the mainstream for a short while and maybe spawn more new stealth games than last time. I wouldn't even mind if some action games were bastardized and made more stealth-based, as opposed to the previous trend of bastardizing stealth games and turning them into shooters.<br />
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I have plenty more to say about what happened at the end of last year, but I guess I should try to get in the habit of writing little but often and leave it for a later post. I'm not expecting anything to happen in the upcoming weeks so I don't think there's any rush.<br />
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TO BE CONTINUEDJohnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-33281810549090158752012-08-08T23:06:00.000+03:002012-08-08T23:06:27.147+03:00Wall of Bad LuckSo, some corrections to the hastily written previous blog. Naughty Bear's third episode doesn't take place in the evening, it takes place in the early morning. Also, the narrator isn't annoying on his own or during the cutscenes, but because of the repetition of the gameplay, him announcing the kills and combos gets very tiring. When I started recording the walkthrough and just played it casually without repeating episodes, I realized I had no reason to hate him anymore.<br />
After having recorded a Tomb Raider Legend walkthrough (going public who knows when) I once again changed my opinion slightly. It's actually better than averige like I preciously claimed. It's actually a very good game, very competently made. It does have some problems, like the camera always overriding the players adjustments and the controls sometimes just do not work right, and the most common cause for death in-game is the combination of those two issues since the combat is really easy but long drops are almost always an instant game over.<br />
I often change my opinion slightly when recording a game, because then I tend to pay more attention to all of the game's features and how they work instead of just soaking in the experience and getting hung up on the few, often irrelevant things that bug me. That's the problem with amateur critics on the Internet, and with the crappier professional reviewers as well; you can easily let insignificant issues overshadow everything good in a video game, or sometimes in reverse let some good features greatly affect your thoughts about a game that is in full context a piece of crap. When reviewing a game, or anything for that matter, you have to look at it through many different eyes, not least for the reason that you will be in different moods throughout your life and will personally view same things differently every day. When I record a walkthrough for others to watch I constantly think about how people who haven't played the game themselves would then see it and whether their impressions based on prerecorded video would be accurate. I think Tomb Raider Legend looks like an awesome game when just watched, and it honestly isn't that far off even though the problems the game has can only be experienced by playing it in person.<br />
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I finished <b>Max Payne</b> and <b>Max Payne 2</b>, and I cannot stress enough that while I had high hopes for those two games based on all the praise, they exceeded my expectations greatly. Max Payne is simply awesome and should be considered one of the few hundred cornerstones of good video game design, and Max Payne 2 is even better. I am being completely honest when I say the original two Max Payne games are as close to being serious art as video games will probably ever be. I'm not saying other games can't reach the same level, but I think there's very little chance of improvement in the art department. I am also not saying there aren't overall better games, but even better games might not be on par with Max Payne in every aspect.<br />
The reason why I call it serious art is that Max Payne isn't just about the presentation like many artsy "indie" games these day, Max Payne is a full-fledged, balls-to-the-walls, well done 3rd-person shooter that also happens to have a great narrative delivered in a fantastic way. Max Payne is about both from AND function, when some more pretentious and even not-so-pretentious games these days are much, MUCH more about form.<br />
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I played some <b>Port Royale</b> and <b>Port Royale 2</b> a while ago and I've already forgotten what exactly I would've said about them if I made a quick review, but I can say this: I <u>really</u> like Port Royale 2. I had my doubts with the series being an economic simulator where you just pretty much move a ship from port to port on a map, just clicking some buttons to buy and sell when the numbers seem good, but Port Royale 2 is something I think I'll go back to later once my backlog of games to play gets slightly shorter (which it never will, I got 10 new games in the past 5 days). The first Port Royale is fun enough for an evening but I didn't feel the need to continue playing. The second game seems more rewarding at every new step and the combat seems a more viable, and fun, option. In the original I found combat to be frustrating the few times I tried it and can't imagine how piracy could be profitable at the beginning of it.<br />
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I have also played <b>Tropico</b> and <b>Tropico 2: Pirate Cove</b>. The first Tropico is something that I think I will try to practice playing every now and then because I love building cities and it offers both the fun and the challenge of it, and I like the presentation, but Tropico 2 felt a bit boring largely due to the small amount of different types of buildings to construct. Being about building a pirate hideout instead of a country the selection of government buildings is naturally cut out, housing options are basically one or nothing, I think the farming and such is more streamlined and the choices for entertainment establishments are eatery, brothel and gambling, with only upgrades for those three types bringing in any new building types and there's not much reason to build the crappier ones after you are ready to build the bigger ones. It's like a Tropico lite, a themed campaign from the full game, and not being in any danger of losing your status as the ruler and only repeating the same buildings over and over again just gets a little dull after while.<br />
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The new update for <b>Minecraft</b> came out that added things like placing logs sideways, books you can write in and experience from mining ore (why wasn't that included earlier?) for example. I kept pushing back the urge to play Minecraft in anticipation of this update, but now that it's out I find myself too deep in other games to have a chance to play it.<br />
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I also finally played another one of my most wanted video games of all time, <b>Messiah</b>. Sadly, it was a huge disappointment. First of all it's marred by serious technical issues that are worsened with modern computers, but even the basic game, technological issues aside is not that much fun. The game is about using the bodies of others to complete objectives discreetly in what is supposed to be a humorous setting by Shiny. Think Hitman if 47 was a baby and he didn't just take people's clothes but their bodies as well, and the setting was a twisted dystopia. You'd imagine a game like that would be awesome and basically made for me, but it's not. Messiah is not funny, not because the humour sucks but because it's not really even there, the combat outright sucks but the player is still occasionally forced into fights, the controls are not just clunky but strangely designed and screw the player over constantly because you often need to be fast and precise at what you're doing and with these controls you usually can't be, the player isn't rewarded for trying out alternative methods but is instead punished for it, when combat has started even once enemies then have a 6th sense of Bob's whereabouts, and I would love to see one of the developers try and beat the game on Messiah mode. Don't think they could even pass the first level.<br />
I do see how the game can have it's share of fans, but Messiah is riddled with so many HUGE problems that I cannot ever recommend it without losing the last bits of my credibility. The game is simply a mess and a nightmare to try and run in modern days. Plus, it's damn difficult to find help for it online by searching for "Messiah, PC" because of Jesus. Not that Jesus is to be blamed, the game came out like 2000 years after him, but I'm just saying it's a bitch to find help for all the problems and I think Jesus himself is too busy with other stuff to provide me technical assistance.<br />
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That's about it. I'm aiming to get the Tomb Raider Legend walkthrough scheduled so that starting next Friday there will be one video out a day at 3 PM GMT until the next Friday, but it seems a bit unlikely right now. Legend is one of the easiest games to beat that I have ever recorded but because of an incredible amount of unforeseen problems, like constant thunderstorms for example, a simple 3-4 hour job of recording turned into an 8 day long trial by frustration. After that the editing process caused me trouble with the first video for two days before I had a usable video done, but I still prevailed and busted my ass to get the first part out by last Monday. I would've even made it with 6 hours to spare, but then the video looked so screwed up on YouTube that I had to reupload it and miss my personal deadline, and after that YouTube screwed up the reuploading process so I missed my next best chance to publish it last Tuesday. I couldn't possibly get it out by Wednesday and what the hell, with so many delays I might as well skip Thursday as well, so I pushed the planned publish date to next Friday, even though it's looking more and more like even that was too optimistic of me. <br />
Not a great omen. I was planning on starting to upload one video every day from now on, as I now have the technology to do that once I iron out the kinks and get the cogs to run smooth, and my best personal efforts notwithstanding nature, technology and YouTube just don't seem to want me to reach my goal.<br />
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Oh, yes, my PC monitor just broke some time ago and while I can manage the basic stuff with my Samsung TV monitor, it's really not the best choice for playing and recording PC games, so I am also pushing back all planned PC game walkthroughs until I find a suitable replacement for my old monitor. That means no Max Payne walkthroughs this month like I promised. I will, however, record console games and that actually helps with uploading videos every day because console games are faster to record, when you're not met by a nigh impenetrable wall of bad luck like I just recently was. If only the editing and uploading process wasn't such a bitch to me.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-29864147959123838792012-07-18T21:37:00.001+03:002012-07-18T21:39:06.332+03:00A few words shared about Tomb Raider: Legend, Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers, Naughty Bear, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and Revelations, and a couple of others, too.Another month and a half or so has passed without a single blog update from me. It's actually kind of strange. I used to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the Internet doing literally nothing in order to avoid doing something constructive in real life, yet these days when I would have actual things to do online I find myself avoiding the computer entirely. Might be I have a somewhat similar problem as Donald Duck did in one comic where he had a habit of falling asleep at work because of his subconscious need to avoid work altogether, and when his doctor told him he'd pay Donald just for going to sleep, Donald couldn't help but stay awake because sleeping had become work.<br />
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Last month I had my "Summer holiday", and I was planning to write a blog post before leaving but then remembered the cardinal rule of online posting: do no share information that could put you, your belongings, your pets (aside from cats), your friends or your family in physical danger. It's always safer to just refrain from posting anything even if you think there's no chance in hell you'd suffer for it, and I'm afraid I actually can think of people who could recognize me online, live in my area and know exactly where I live, and are unfortunately the type of people who might get the bright idea to try to break in just for fun if they knew for certain that nobody's going to be home for a long time. Whether they'd do it to actually steal anything or just for kicks is irrelevant. I believe everyone knows these kind of people if they just think hard enough.<br />
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I've bought a lot of games in the past 6 weeks, which shouldn't be any news at this point and I've apparently given up posting an update here everytime I have new games. Honestly, what's the point of flaunting around games I own when I can't even play them fast enough. I may collect games, but even I understand that gaming is about playing the video games, not hoarding them. I don't want to end up on that show where people's floors are covered in used toiler paper and their Teddy-bears move on their own due to the bugs. Those houses creep me out.<br />
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I finished <b>Tomb Raider: Legend</b> on PS3 and got the platinum trophy. It's actually a decent game, there's nothing to really latch on to complain about. The only real problem I can think of is that it's really not remarkable in anyway, it's really just your run-of-the-mill action-romp. Everything in it, from visuals to voice acting to level design is adequate, and that's both the positive and the negative.<br />
Only other problem might be the availability of some costumes. In Tomb Raider: Legend you can unlock and wear different costumes for levels, and I don't think I would necessarily be too far off the trail if I assumed two of the most wanted ones, at least for the male Tomb Raider fans (which there seems to be less of than female fans), are the black bikini and the white bikini. They are the last ones you can unlock, but strangely enough they cannot be worn in the actual levels, only in the Croft Manor which you also have to finish in order to acquire the bikini costumes, leaving you nothing to do there with Lara in her bikini. Well, some sad git can probably think of something to do, but joking aside, it does make you wonder why they added in two costumes specifically for those perverts out there who then jerk off while trying to get Lara to perform cartwheels in the Manor.<br />
My guess is that it was some really lonely developer who got an idea how to brighten up the day after everyone else had already gone home.<br />
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I also started playing <b>Tomb Raider Anniversary</b> right after finishing Legend, but before I even got through the first level I decided to stop and finally play Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers, a game I preordered on GOG.com the same night it was announced and was released on the day I left for my holiday.<br />
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<b>Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers</b> is an indie game where you're a guy named Tiny, adventuring through old ruins in the desert, armed with a laser cutter and other tools to help you change the landscape, chasing after Big who stole your Grandpa's ancient underpants that give telekinetic powers to anyone who wears them... on their head.<br />
The game does have some weaknesses. For one it's a pretty short adventure. There's six levels and even then a couple of them are pretty short and pointless, and all of them could be described as "easy". You also end up having basically the same boss fight with Big more than once, which I noticed has annoyed a few people. The humour is also a bit of hit and miss as the overall writing of it lacks good structure, and whether you think the game's plot is even slightly amusing depends on whether or not you think it's funny to wear underpants on your head.<br />
But the game is quite fun. Being hit and miss means that the humour is good at least sometimes, the art-style is quite nice and there's some good music there. The act of cutting stone and wood with the laser, pulling pieces closer with the grapnel gun and sending useless bits flying away with rockets in order to progress is <u>a lot</u> of fun. In fact it's so much fun you'll probably spend two hours at the first half of the game doing nothing but slicing things into bits. You see, this isn't your usual mansy-pansy namby-pamby cutting game for sissy pregnant women and their babies where you chop a few small blocks into a couple of neat cubes, no. Here you can take a gigantic pillar and cut it into a hundred cubes for no reason other than that you can, and probably screw yourself by destroying the very object you needed to continue. Never fear, though, because the game does have a quick one-button retry option for all those times you slash everything you can into bits without even a hint of a plan, and the game does have checkpoints quite often, although occasionally not at the best possible points.<br />
There's not that much to the game beyond cutting through the short story. There are some mini-arcade games you can find in certain places of the levels that you can try and beat with leet cutting skills and naturally you can also try to collect all the hidden collectibles and boring rocks, as well as open the games soundtrack that is hidden here and there as another form of a collectable. You may also replay levels and try to beat them faster and with fewer cuts, but personally I don't really care much for all that jazz. I don't have time to care, really, as I am at the moment looking at playing about 110 different games I own that I haven't had the chance to even try yet.<br />
Honestly, Tiny and Big: Grandpa's Leftovers is worth it's price on GOG.com no matter what negative things you may have to say about it, and everyone knows I absolutely hate paying too much for games. If you don't agree, then you're wrong, and I recommend you think back to all those times you paid twice this game's price for crappy DLC for an already overpriced game you only bought because everyone else did also. This game is the type of game that despite it's flaws, and partly <i>because</i> of it's flaws, demands a sequel, and if there's not a sequel coming, then screw you Black Pants Studio!<br />
Oh, and guys, if you're listening, for the sequel I would like an option to loop just one song. I love Mr. Noone's Retro Blues, but the song is too short. Thanks.<br />
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After Tiny and Big I didn't feel like going back to Tomb Raider Anniversary, and instead started playing Naughty Bear for PS3.<br />
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<b>Naughty Bear</b> is basically a poor-man's Manhunt with teddybears, and all around it's the epitome of a budget title. The story of Naughty Bear is told in the style of a twisted children's show about the mistreated Naughty Bear who ends up murdering and scaring the other bears on the island to the point of insanity in each episode of the game. I can say mistreated despite the fact that Naughty Bear is a really naughty bear, killing and scaring others as he does, because most episodes begin with the other bears brutally mocking him and laughing at his honest attempts at making friends and helping others, and usually the main target of the episode is actually planning to kill Naughty Bear. This is the type of game in which the point where you're controlling a straight up bad guy in the context of the story is much, much further away than usual, and one DLC episode actually starts with Naughty Bear going to save another bear from what he believes to be certain death only to find that the other bear is actually not in any danger and is really planning to get Naughty Bear killed. Who is the bad guy, I ask.<br />
This type of dark, twisted humour really works for me and find quite a bit of entertainment in the cutscenes, so much so that I bought the three DLC episodes solely for the "plot".<br />
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The gameplay is rather simple and eventually gets <u>very</u> repetitive. What you do is you hide from the other bears in the woods where most other bears don't ever go into, and wait until you are ready to wreak havoc by sabotaging items to get bears to go fix them and provide an opening for a context kill or a powerful BOO! scare, simply destroy items for good, place traps on the ground and sneak up on unsuspecting bears to scare them with your BOO! shout or simply smack them with any of the dozen or so weapons found in the levels, and slowly but surely make them all lose their shit.<br />
The end goal is to punish, meaning either kill or scare, one specific bear in each episode while trying to gather points by causing mayhem in quick succession in as many ways as possible in order to keep up the multiplier meter and progress through each area in the episode.<br />
Basically everything that happens because of you gives you points, whether it's a more hands-on attack by you or just the other bears witnessing another bear being nervous after he heard some glass breaking, and as you cause more and more destruction the gameplay gets more and more frantic and soon you'll be running all over the place yelling BOO! at bears trying to phone for help, smashing machinery, kicking bears in the nuts and watching them blow up on mines, flushing presents down toilets and curb stomping bears trying to escape the island by either car or boat.<br />
It all sounds great fun and for the first couple episodes it does stay relatively fresh, but it doesn't take long to realize that this is first and foremost an arcade game where you play for points, not progression. There are only four different areas in the game, and these four areas are then repeated throughout the 10 episodes (7 in base game + 3 DLC) with only cosmetic changes made in order to fit them with the theme of each episode. For example, in the birthday party episode it's a sunny day with balloons and presents around, in the army episode everything's camouflaged and it's evening and in the undead episode it's midnight and there are gravestones strewn about. New types of bears, like ninjas, soldiers and zombies do also appear in new episodes, but the episodes all still generally play out the same way from start to finish. Ninjas for example are faster and will follow you to the woods, sure, but they will still be scared the same way and follow the same tactics as the regular bears, only they're slightly faster, so one episode doesn't really differ from another as far as the gameplay goes.<br />
A couple of dozen unlockable costumes for Naughty and some "different" game modes do not provide any breath of fresh air either, sadly. The costumes, while each has different stats and some may even provide small extra abilities like silent movement, do not change anything about the way you'll handle the other bears, and the different game modes are just the base episodes with a small extra rule added, like don't get hit or make every bear go insane before killing them. So basically the game just repeats each episode five times, and when I was still trying to play them all, the modes started fusing together in my head and often I completely forgot which specific mode I was playing and forced extra rules on myself in the confusion. It really doesn't help the game's defense that actual new episodes can only be unlocked by beating a certain amount of these "different" modes of earlier episodes, so if you have low tolerance of blatant recycling of gameplay elements and artifically lenghtening the time it takes between starting the game and seeing the end of the final episode, you'll be sick of Naughty Bear fast.<br />
Then again, if you do, why would you be playing a simple budget arcade title like Naughty Bear in the first place? What I really really do have against Naughty Bear no matter how good of a mood I was in is that it has often absolutely horrendous framerate and clipping issues. Also, the narrator is annoying. He's the only voice actor and he's annoying. At first it's funny how he's annoying in the way of a typical childrens' TV-show narrator, but soon enough you'll realize that joke's on you as you can't just change the channel.<br />
Overall I can give Naughty Bear a careful recommendation IF, and only IF you realize that it's a very small game, a budget title, with a lot of repetition for the sole purpose of getting higher scores than the last time. Be warned that if you're the type of gamer who tends to just rent games for a short while and move on to get new experiences, don't even bother with Naughty Bear.<br />
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After I got tired of Naughty Bear I decided to play Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood and Revelations.<br />
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<b>Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood</b> is little more than, say, a few AC2 DLC packs put together on one disc. It's a direct continuation of Assassin's Creed 2, and I mean DIRECT continuation to the point I wonder if the developers originally planned 2 and Brotherhood to be on the same disc. What Brotherhood adds to the mix is just a couple of new weapons and gadgets to use, the ability to build a Brotherhood of assassins and call them to help take out enemies at your leisure or send them on missions across Europe á la Evil Genius to get XP and level up, and... that's about it. Other than that it's AC2 in Rome, with a few more missions to do and a lot more Borgia flags to collect, video packages from 16 to unlock and shops to renovate for faster income all the while the game loads and loads and loads and takes forever to let you actually play. I'm not kidding, the loading is unsifferable... I mean, insufferable. The loading screens are long and in the case of some side memories they can literally take several minutes, and due to the fact that you can control Ezio in the loading screens and in some cases there is another person in there running away made me think I was supposed to catch the person because nothing was happening for such a long time. It's strange that the loading screens are as long as they are when the game also loads during cutscenes, making the option to skip cutscenes absolutely pointless as you'll then have to spend the same amount of time looking at the loading screen, and takes a decent amount of time installing crap on the harddrive before you can start playing for the first time. Furthermore, the game also often freezes momentarily when riding a horse fast, and it occasionally takes a long time loading people and textures. I once failed an escort mission's bonus objective because guards first took half a minute to load on the map and then eventually spawned right on me. The game is not flawless.<br />
AC: Brotherhood's additions to the series are so insignificant and the plot is so irrelevant that I really don't need to say anything indepth about it, and no, I am not mocking the game. It's just an absolute fact that you have no business playing Brotherhood if you haven't finished Assassin's Creed 2, and if you have played AC2 all the way through already and still intend to play the upcoming Assassin's Creed 3, you are obliged to play Brotherhood as well. Consider AC2 and Brotherhood to be one single full game, nothing more and nothing less.<br />
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<b>Assassin's Creed: Revelations</b> is another story entirely. Gameplaywise it's the same as the previous games, same old gadgets return, the main character is still Ezio as controlled by Desmond and the only new additions to the series are the hookblade, crafting bombs and a fun little base-defense minigame you don't get to play enough even if you try (seriously, I got to play it only three times total and I made an actual effort to get it to start). However, I feel the story of Revelations has a different, a more mature feel to it and I honestly think it could be considered a shorter standalone game if it weren't for the beginning recap of past events in the series and a few little references to what took place in Brotherhood. I mean it, Assassin's Creed's overall plot is so strange and messed already, Revelations doesn't advance the on-going Desmond plot almost at all and Ezio's previous adventures aren't referred to apart from a passing remark regarding Caterina, and overall Revelations' bonus first-person puzzle-platforming minigames help shed about 10x more light on Desmond's life and personality than the previous three games combined. I have played standalone games that gave far less context for the story than Revelations does. Anyway, I think Revelations will still be played as part of the series by everyone who'll ever play it, so pointless of me to try and separate it from the other games. I'll just say it has the most class out of all AC games thus far.<br />
To add to Revelations' credit it also managed to make me interested in replaying the original Assassin's Creed, which is quite a feat considering my... immense dislike of that boring, over-hyped, over-priced, often glitchy turd of a game. It's just that Revelations, with Ezio's quest to travel the footsteps of Altaïr and unlock the secrets of Altaïr's library gives some reason for the original game to exist.<br />
Yes, I am thinking about recording HD walkthroughs of the entire Assassin's Creed series. Even the first one.<br />
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After AC: Revelations I think I bought <b>Payday: The Heist</b>, <b>Terraria</b>, <b>Max Payne</b> and <b>Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne</b> from Steam's summer sale.<br />
Payday is the Al Pacino/Robert De Niro film <i>Heat</i> made into a Left 4 Dead style game, only the zombies are pretending to be cops. I know the Heat/L4D thing is something more than one person has said and I have already joined the choir, but it is actually the first thing that popped in my mind when I played it the first time. The game seems like it's fun to play with friends, but alone I did get somewhat bored of at least the first three levels in one day, and it only has six levels and I have no friends. None that have Payday: The Heist at least. I'll record it if I can find other people to play with.<br />
Terraria... I didn't get hooked. I can see how it could be slightly addicting, but I just don't feel any need to play it myself. It also has LONG level-generation and loading times, and I also can't play it in higher resolution than 800x600 without a hit on the framerate. I can play Condemned on PC at max settings, at least until big special effects get splashed on the screen, but I can't play a simple 2D-platformer type of thing at higher than 800x600? Not that I honestly needed to, though, as the game only shows a larger area of black surroundings at higher resolutions, but still. Funny.<br />
Max Payne, finished first eight chapters. Game has so far been every bit as good as people always say it is, it does deserve it's praise.<br />
Max Payne 2, haven't played it on PC yet but I do own it and have almost finished it on PlayStation 2 and can say that the game is great, maybe better than the first, and I am looking forward to playing all the way through it with better graphics on PC.<br />
I am planning to record walkthroughs of the two Max Payne games, starting sometime next month in fact, and theoretically I could do Max Payne 3 someday as well since my mother is planning to buy it herself and once she's done with the game it is then passed onto me. Don't know when she'll buy it, though, as she right now has Dead to Rights Retribution and Yakuza 4 under work and I'm certainly not going to buy it as it doesn't look as good to me as the original two and I am already overloaded with games to play as it is. Just earlier today I bought the two Witcher games from GOG.com since they were on sale. You think I'll ever get to play them? Fuck no. I'll die of old age and my grandchildren will get to try them instead.<br />
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Wait! I'd first need to take time off to find me a woman and figure out how it works and make some children that will then pop out grandchildren before they can exist enough to inherit my collection... ... ... Never gonna happen. <br />
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That's it, this blog post is over so I can have the new super-secret special thing up and ready and then MAYBE I get to actually play more Max Payne. I left it on part 1 chapter 9 <b>three days ago</b>!<br />
And yeah, yeah, I would've added images but I can't be bothered. You want images? Search the games on Google, that's what I would've done anyway, so there.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-86604497014961322972012-06-04T01:21:00.000+03:002012-06-04T01:21:22.367+03:00More money, more gamesGood news for me: I can once again get my hands on my own money. I won't go into any detail, but due to some EU regulations PayPal has to comply with, some network errors with my bank and my own negligence with the renewal of my ID card, for the entire month of May I didn't have as much control over my own bank and PayPal accounts, and subsequently all of my own money, as a person in modern society is normally expected to have. I really mostly have myself to blame for this, though, because what could've easily been fixed in one week ended up taking 4 weeks instead just because my ID card had expired only some days before I needed it at the bank. But, that's all straightened out now.<br />
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<br />Because I could use money I again, I of course went and bought some video games.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5tODu9JPhcNFvrNu-K2DZXWE5LWbrX8LT0Fic2l3L-FQHFNlnoxG9nMvN7GNSUBXWls5Bmj8qi3nXysX2w8PBHYeQSmE_EWy-_QFi9RjvB6JS3W8vut31lvfNeKhJNxkyjY8YnknTqw/s1600/img007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy5tODu9JPhcNFvrNu-K2DZXWE5LWbrX8LT0Fic2l3L-FQHFNlnoxG9nMvN7GNSUBXWls5Bmj8qi3nXysX2w8PBHYeQSmE_EWy-_QFi9RjvB6JS3W8vut31lvfNeKhJNxkyjY8YnknTqw/s320/img007.JPG" width="320" /></a>I got myself <b>Ghostbusters The Video Game</b> for PS3, a game which I've been looking for since it's release but has always eluded me until now. It's pretty ridiculous how difficult finding a copy, new or used, of a somewhat popular and well known 2009 title can be. Well, I have it now and I actually already finished it. It's a really fun game, really well done and I wish I could record a walkthrough of it. Probably can't, though. Copyright notices just forced me to reconsider my Mafia walkthrough, and Ghostbusters surely has more copyright claim bait than Mafia.<br />
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I also bought a game called <b>Pryzm Chapter One: The Dark Unicorn</b>, which I assumed was going to be either a hilarious game or an unintentionally hilarious game considering the whole game is about an old angry man riding an angry unicorn around and smacking mutated magical creatures while they whizz past, and way back when I saw some gameplay footage of it it actually looked fast-paced, but I was wrong. It's played completely straight, and it's boring, and pretty bad. I tried playing it but there's absolutely nothing there to keep me playing. I've bought a lot of bad games in the past but I think Pryzm could rank quite high on the disappointment meter.<br />
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Of course that wasn't all I bought. I also got <b>Tomb Raider Trilogy</b> for the PS3. It includes Underworld and HD remasters of the PS2 games Legend and Anniversary, and I bought it on a whim. I already have Legend on PS2 and I quite liked it when I played it, but I never finished it and I figured, why not try to finally complete it in HD when I can also get Anniversary and Underworld along with it at the price of one older PS3 game?<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYhm8syxmhx7A-SVau45tVNlYlozPAg_JZayhUqYuUvXwjB38tCou8g436JH6oHEuLUxmnEdDe1QYEeIR_1slMbuxRAV2E4rE1wOP5-rFXadJ1FLYb12JbZt45vWODv8SifretDYZ1Lv4/s1600/img008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYhm8syxmhx7A-SVau45tVNlYlozPAg_JZayhUqYuUvXwjB38tCou8g436JH6oHEuLUxmnEdDe1QYEeIR_1slMbuxRAV2E4rE1wOP5-rFXadJ1FLYb12JbZt45vWODv8SifretDYZ1Lv4/s320/img008.JPG" width="320" /></a>I think I actually own all Tomb Raider games now, with the exception of Guardian of the Light, and I find that fact quite funny because I am not a fan of the series and have actually never finished any of the games legitimately, ever, except Curse of the Sword on GameBoy Color. I liked that game.<br />
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After having played Rayman Origins and seeing how few long-time fans of the series were as amazed by it's top-notch quality as I was, I take it that the rest of the games are pretty damn incredible as well, and so I bought <b>Rayman Collector's Edition</b>, a supposed "4 game collection" which actually does not include the first game despite what the title of the collection would make you think. I mean, when I hear "Rayman Collector's Edition", I think "the original game plus bonuses", not Rayman 2, 3, M and 3 Print Studio. What the hell is a print studio anyway? I admit I haven't actually yet taken a look at it but I would dare and guess that it's not a game at all, so why is it a "4 games in 1" and why the hell is it titled "Rayman Collector's Edition"? Why not just Rayman Collection? Or Rayman Generations? Or Rayman Super-Pack or Rayman Über-Bundle?<br />
Well, anyway, I'm going to buy the original on GOG.com sometime soon when I actually have time to play it, and then I believe I will install and try out 2, 3 and M. And Print Studio as well, but only if it's just a really poorly named game. Which I think it's not.<br />
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I have also bought the L.A. Noire DLC cases on PlayStation Store for my mother to play as she's almost done with Call of Juarez 2, and I bought myself the Double Fine indie game called <b>Stacking</b>. And since I had just the perfect amount of money left in the wallet I spent the rest on a MiniS (do you always add the 'S' in the end or no? I'm confused) game called <b>Golf Mania</b>. Or something like that, could've been any of the zillions of golf games there.<br />
Apropos, if you want a laugh, check out the 2012 Tiger Woods-PGA-World-Tour-Something-or-Other in the PS Store. Look at what the DLC packs include and especially take a look at the prices. Ri-freaking-dickilous! Do people really buy the game downloaded for 70€ and then buy 3-4€ DLC packs that only have two new golf club designs for the game? GOLF CLUB DESIGNS, for Pete's sake. 70 euros for a downloadable golf game, and then about 40 DLC packs for several euros each, which all only add some new golf clubs, just because the game's titled after some golfer fuck... When you're paying that much for a golf game and DLC clubs, just take up golfing for real. I would imagine it's much more fun even if you suck. Probably better if you do suck, actually, because then you get to play longer per hole and get bigger scores.<br />
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But now I'm just ranting about nothing and it's 1 am, so bye.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-42681586942268449912012-05-08T22:31:00.000+03:002012-05-08T22:31:33.687+03:00Uh... Tuesday 5: Tuesday HarderJust a short post here.<br />
Had to go out today to handle some very serious business downtown that I don't think I should talk about publicly yet just to be on the safe side, but after that business was dealt with me and my mother went to buy video games and this post here is written to tell you about my new purchases.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvSywNDUxgGv3uNR16DgQBS9q73TWfd9TSGQ9VPlFREhILPc6vnIItyCrKtpj7ba6A-dH0gxOdVgJdt9zrmaBpfjsLgTYcI1GUlrtONp_SmrngIP7TgMiGhVEKMiTA3_ctSTFVVa7VcJg/s1600/08052012-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvSywNDUxgGv3uNR16DgQBS9q73TWfd9TSGQ9VPlFREhILPc6vnIItyCrKtpj7ba6A-dH0gxOdVgJdt9zrmaBpfjsLgTYcI1GUlrtONp_SmrngIP7TgMiGhVEKMiTA3_ctSTFVVa7VcJg/s320/08052012-001.jpg" width="320" /></a>I'm a fan of <a href="http://videogamesawesome.com/" target="_blank">Video Games AWESOME!</a> and have enjoyed their <b>Rayman Origins</b> playthrough so far, and seeing how much fun the game can be and after listening to the soundrack on YouTube for an hour I decided to buy the game myself for PS3. If you recall, and I'm guessing you don't, last year when I did my shitty E3 2011 recap I wrote that, and I quote myself here, the game <i>"looked interesting"</i> and had <i>"fun looking levels"</i>. What does that have to do with me buying the game now? Nothing, I just remembered mentioning it in the past.<br />
By the way, I want to wish the best of luck for the VGA crew in these perilous times as they are the newest victims of Google's unexplained AdSense-account closing sprees. If you've ever heard of AdSense accounts closing in the past you know that Google does not provide people any reason for banning them from the service, which is incredibly stupid because you supposedly do have a chance to appeal and have your account reinstated, but in order to appeal you must tell them first what it is you did wrong. But then, how can you admit your guilt to them when you haven't done anything wrong and don't know what they're accusing you of, and if you have done something wrong and admit to it then why would your appeal pass? It's insane, and Fraser was actually spot on in his video when he called it Kafkaesque. The whole ordeal is indeed very much like 'The Trial'.<br />
And Google making the decisions to ban people from using AdSense for life at random... talk about draconian. Don't think a single human works at Google, I think all these <i>things</i> are just caused by automated systems with faulty design that the people over there never redesign.<br />
The FFSTV crew has created some of the most entertaining video game related content on the Internet (AVG and VGA) and the most entertaining unscripted video game related content on the Internet so I really hope they get through all this with minimal amount of financial trouble and can continue to entertain all of us, but most importantly me, till the end of time. Hopefully with more AVG.<br />
And if I understood correctly from the video, at least Fraser's email from Google seemed to be longer than the one I got when my AdSense account was closed, so he should consider himself special.<br />
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Another game I bought for PS3 is <b>LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures</b>. The first three Indiana Jones films have just recently come on TV with the fourth one to be aired next Sunday, and naturally I watched them all and am now in the perfect Indy-mood which greatly affected my decision to fork out 30€ for the game because the fourth movie, while I do not hate it, will not quench my thirst for more. Also, LEGO games of this ilk (LEGO Star Wars, Batman, et cetera) have always been fun and top-quality, though, so I am confident that this game is great as well. I will not, however, play the game immediately through. I own a few other of these type of LEGO games and in the past I've always done the first playthrough co-operatively with my sister. It's just so much more fun trying to figure out what to do with another person and it's well worth the wait, which I'm guessing will be a long one seeing how busy and ill people seem to be these day. Don't think my sister will come over and play any video games with me any time soon. But there's always hope.<br />
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I also bought <b>Way of the Samurai 2</b> for the PS2. I hope it's as good as I expect it to be.<br />
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My mother also bought two games for herself. She got <b>Call of Juarez 2: Bound in Blood</b> and <b>James Bond 007: Quantum of Solace</b>, both for PS3.<br />
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Aaand that's about it. I've bought some more games on GOG.com as well since the last post, but I'll talk about those once I finally get around to playing them.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-19600161522181772162012-04-22T19:02:00.000+03:002012-04-22T19:02:04.251+03:00I am awful sorrySorry that for the last two months there hasn't been anything new posted here and that the last post posted was the usual not-very-entertaining-to-read crap I always write. And here I will go again and you can't stop me!<br />
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Two months... that's a long time when you think about it. A man could do a lot of interesting things in that time to later talk about on his blog, but unfortunately I don't know who that man is so I can't offer you an alternative to my blog.<br />
After the previous post I bought and downloaded <b>Evil Genius</b> and <b>Constructor</b> on <a href="http://gog.com/">GOG.com</a>. I don't like Constructor, but Evil Genius... man, that was the most fun video game I have played in a while. It's a base-building game with the emphasis on base-building, with everything about the game depending on your ability to build a base. I can't stress enough the importance of a well built base, because if you suck at designing and building bases, you won't like the game. Do you understand what I'm saying? Base. Building. You think Dungeon Keeper 1 or 2 were base-building games? Nope, they weren't, not even close if you compare to Evil Genius. At least in DK2 the design of the lair didn't matter one bit just as long as you had enough rooms of certain type to get good minions for combat, and I played it like a 1st-person hack 'n slash game for the most part (it may have not been the intention of the developers), but in Evil Genius the design of the lair IS the game. I won't talk about it any more here because ever since I beat Evil genius the first time I've often felt like I need to replay it and I think I'll write a review of it when I do, so wait for that and remember to hold your breath for the best effect. I'm just sad it's not the kind of game that can be walkedthrough.<br />
I also bought <b>Call to Power 2</b> and I played it A LOT. It's like the Civilization series, only better in every way so screw you Civ fans! And then I've bought about... shit... 40 other games from <a href="http://gog.com/">GOG.com</a>, not counting the individual games in the collections and bundles.<br />
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YES, I HAVE A PROBLEM! I have been telling you for years now that I have a problem with buying video games. I can't stop, I don't want to stop. I get so high off of new video games, they help me forget about this awful, sad, pathetic, depressing shithole of a world we live in.<br />
And besides, almost all of the 45 items purchased have been during sales so I have actually SAVED money by spending it on games I will probably never have the time or interest to play.<br />
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But, seriously, I buy games on <a href="http://gog.com/">GOG.com</a> so casually for several reasons that I actually think are very good. First, I appreciate what GOG.com stands for, DRM-free classics for equal prices all around the world with a ton of extra goodies packed in that you don't get these days even with the physical copies and the latest patches already installed and the games made to work with newer machines. For that <a href="http://gog.com/">GOG.com</a> <u><b>deserves</b></u> my business, I want to support them. Alright, maybe I could help them out even more if I didn't wait for sales, but I am a cheap bastard and you can't weed it out from me.<br />
Second, currently I am making all my money from video games, most of my freetime (I have nothing BUT freetime) is spent on video game related activities and I hope to continue spending a lot of my time with video games and video game related activities until I die, so why not buy video games in bunches with the money I make from video games now and prepare for the future? I'm making decent enough dough already and I'm not baking bread if you catch my meaning. More like making bread. Not baking, because, you know, not literal bread but money, and dough is also slang for money. Yeah, I'm witty like that. I should have my own column in a newspaper.<br />
I also had third, fourth and fifth reasons, but I'm getting tired and bored here and the first reason I wrote is good enough on it's own to justify my spontaneous purchasing of large amounts of video games so I'll move on to talk about the games I have actually played.<br />
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I played <b>Return to Krondor</b> for 2 hours and it's boring. Don't think I'll ever give it another chance.<br />
I played <b>Robin Hood: The Legend of Sherwood</b> with very high expectations because it's very similar to Desperados: Wanted Dead or Alive and the Commandos games, which I like immensely, but I was disappointed by it. It's also very buggy. I guess I could enjoy it if I really gave it a chance but right now I have several dozen other games to play.<br />
I played <b>Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project</b> up until the first boss and it was kind of fun but I just didn't have the energy to continue. I was sort of hoping it would be good for walkingthrough, and I guess it might be, but not right now.<br />
I played some of the original <b>Alone in the Dark</b>, but then I remembered that I don't actually like survival horror games. Then I was really shocked that I had actually bought The New Nightmare from GOG.com as well. Why did I buy it? Probably because I'm anticipating my genre taste to change in the future, and if and when I start craving for survival horror I'll have the Alone in the Dark series ready.<br />
I also bought the Zork anthology and Grand Inquisitor because I have this morbid obsession with adventure games that require too much intellect and patience for me to actually ever finish them. So I played a bit of <b>Zork: The Great Underground Empire</b> with the intention of playing through the whole series (or the games I happen to have), but that plan died. People in the 70's might have had nothing better to do with their lives
than typing random things into their computers in hopes of getting
through short adventure games for points, but not me. Me, I'm a young, virile,
wild-eyed anarchist tiger heading for Good-Time City on the Freedom bus to pick up broads
and break the rules. That is, when I'm not sitting at home playing video games. I did play Zork for three days and got pretty far once I read the instructions to getting through the mazes online. Zork mazes are especially stupid because logic doesn't work when moving in Zork. If you go south, west and south, going back north, east and north does NOT get you back where you started, but infact possibly even deeper. And then you also have to go up when not prompted. Zork mazes take fucking hours to finish on your own even if you know before-hand that you can and have to move in three dimensions, which I didn't realise at first.<br />
Anyway, I was just kidding (not about the mazes, though), I actually kind of liked Zork and do intend to play the rest of the games sometime soon since I already have them all installed. I stopped playing only because I had other things to do.<br />
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I also bought <b>Minecraft</b>. I like a lot of the additions that weren't in it back when I first played, but I think those two weeks I spent digging straight 2x6 tunnels deep underground while listening to the live D&D games on LordKat's stream really did it for me because I just can't stay interested in building crap for more than an hour at a time now. Also, playing Minecraft alone just seems pointless. I can build entire cities and it would still all just end with me alone wandering aimlessly past hundreds of hours of wasted time turned into stacks of blocks. I don't want to be <i>that</i> sad and miserable. Even I have standards.<br />
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Not all my new purchases have been downloadable games, though.<br />
I bought <b>Velvet Assassin</b> because I like stealth games and it's a very polished and stylish little sneaker, if a little dull in it's linearity, but what I don't like is that it's a Steam game. I noticed after I brought it home that it's one of those "must connect to Steam in order to play" type of retail games. I hate that, because I like Steam even less now than before. Regional pricing for downloadable games? WHAT THE FUCK?! It's DOWNLOADABLE, there is no reason for regional pricing. Not even the regional prices of the physical copies can explain it because if you make the decision between physical copy and Steam download solely based on the price then you'll buy the Steam version regardless. Hell, you might as well just buy all these kinds of games straight from Steam since that's what you'll basically be doing with the physical copies anyway, never mind the price.<br />
Alright, maybe it's not Steam that decides the pricing, but if a money-grubbing bastard publisher asks you to cheat more money out of people outside the US only because people are idiots and actually go along with it, you say NO because you have ethics. But Steam won't do that because then they'd be more respectable and make less profit, and that's not good. Profit, profit, profit. God damn you assholes, where's your spine!<br />
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I also bought <b>Ghost Master</b>, <b>Ghost Recon</b> and <b>Mafia 2</b>. I really like Mafia 2, it's a very good game that I will play again soon on my own (as soon as my mother has finished it and returned me my disc) and then soon after that a third time to record a walkthrough of it after I've finished the first Mafia.<br />
I found Ghost Recon really boring and technically confusing.<br />
Ghost Master... well, I really like the whole idea behind the game, I like some of the gameplay mechanics, I like the casual feel of the gameplay, I like the references and I just love the music, but even still it just doesn't do it for me. I can't quite put it into words what bugs me about the game even though it has to be something special since I like almost every aspect of it and should love the game as a whole as a result, but I don't. Spooky, isn't it. I wish Ghost Master 2 had been made, because most likely it would've been an amazing game. I think I will give Ghost Master another whirl someday, I've just been in a bad mood a lot lately, as you might have guessed from me not liking a lot of games I've played. I even got tired of Hitman: Blood Money at one point and that should be impossible, so a lot of the fault for games not entertaining me lately must be mine own.<br />
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I also had a birthday just last month. As presents I got <b>Assassin's Creed: Revelations</b> and a Donald Duck toy that's supposed to move with the power of sunlight, but all it really does is make this annoying high-pitched sound whenever there's any light, which is almost all the time. WEEE-uu.... WEE-uu...WEE-uuuu-up. Argh!<br />
I haven't played AC: Revelations yet because I want to buy and play Brotherhood first. Oh, and if Brotherhood and Revelations are really good, I will break my promise of never playing the first Assassin's Creed again and go and record walkthroughs of all the games in the series. And AC3 is coming out soon as well, so I'll probably do that as well if my YouTube account stays up.<br />
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Because the most important thing about birthdays is getting a lot of presents, I went and bought myself a few as well. I got <b>Saboteur</b>, <b>Saints Row 2</b>, <b>GTA: Episodes From Liberty City</b> and <b>Primal</b>. Well thank you Johnny, you always remember my birthday and get me the best presents! You're so great, I love you. Take off your pants and let me g... uh... yeah, anyway.<br />
Saboteur, fun game, and even better with the nudity DLC that turned free right before it was taken down. Yup, EA removed the DLC entirely and I nabbed it free right before it became unavailable at the start of this month. Ha ha ha, I bet you guys who paid for it back when it wasn't free feel pretty stupid now, right? Well, I suppose if you're willing to pay money for DLC just so you can see a couple of nipples in a video game you should feel pretty stupid all the time, huh. But hey, friend, don't be sad. Just think about those losers who buy Saboteur later and don't get the DLC AT ALL! But really, uncensored nipples and a chance to kiss some loose women to hide from the nazis is all the DLC really adds. EA really knows what people want, eh?<br />
I hate EA. Just throwing that out there.<br />
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Saints Row 2, a really fun game and better than Saints Row the Third to a stupendous degree. I recommend playing it. I'm just sad they never released the first game for PS3, because now I can't record the trilogy.<br />
GTA: Episodes From Liberty City, fun. Would've probably been better if the last time I played GTA IV hadn't been so many years ago, but I did still manage to catch on to where the storylines intertwined. A fun addition to GTA IV, good DLC.<br />
Haven't played Primal yet and I don't know when I get around to. Don't even know if the game will play, it's scratched to hell, something's been spilled on the manual and the pages have been crumpled up and I'm not sure but I think there might be some mold on the cover... eww... how can some people be such dicks as to purposefully defile a perfectly good video game and then sell it to others, I'll never know. I also don't know why I bought it in such a condition. There's a lot of things I don't know, so what's new.<br />
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My mother just recently bought her own PS3 really cheap. She's already finished Red Dead Redemption and now she's getting through Mafia 2. She also bought <b>Uncharted: Drake's Fortune</b> with the PS3 and I've played it up till chapter 13. I have to say, and don't get mad at me here, but Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is really boring. Not a lot of going for the plot so far, the areas are dull and the gameplay has been all about shooting the same exact guys with the same exact guns over and over again in mostly very similar looking jungle areas. Okay, there's been a couple of short climbing sequences, two quick jetski rides and a short but action-packed jeep-chase to break the monotone, but it's not enough. Uncharted 2: Among Thieves was huge leap ahead in every meaningful way and I highly recommend buying Uncharted 2 and 3 if you haven't already, but Uncharted 1 might just kill your brain. I paused it in the middle of a firefight and for 10 minutes I had no thoughts going through my head whatsoever, it's that boring. When I finally snapped back to Earth I just had to quit playing to save my sanity.<br />
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Other than playing the aforementioned games, recording Thief: Deadly Shadows and Mafia <i>very slowly</i>, feeling like crap, turning 23, offering hurtful criticism wrapped in dry humour and sarcasm to my mom while she plays video games, catching up with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/farfromsubtle" target="_blank">Video Games AWESOME!</a> playthroughs and watching a lot of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/ShitcaseCinema" target="_blank">Shitcase Cinema</a> reviews, I haven't really done anything. That's my life in a nutshell, fortunately I'm not allergic to nuts.<br />
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With spring coming and the snows <i>sloooooowly</i> melting away I should become more energetic soon and then I think I'll use all that energy to do nothing but waste time writing blog posts and uploading video game videos on YouTube. At least I'm hoping that will be the case. I'm living the dream.<br />
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Now I think I'll go buy something new from this weekend's sale on <a href="http://gog.com/">GOG.com</a>.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-46218446169185099242012-02-28T15:51:00.001+02:002012-02-28T16:35:09.367+02:00Good Old Games are awesome!So, nothing much has happened so here's a short post. I've begun uploading HD videos, starting with a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd2_Q7GT9Fw&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=SP394B282CEF4A0E9D" target="_blank">720p walkthrough of Thief: Deadly Shadows</a>, which, despite what I claimed in the description of the first part can't be considered to be too good of a quality because of the occasional texture flickering. The flickering is caused by my AMD HD graphics card with it's updated drivers and whatever, as apparently new AMD stuff doesn't mesh well with older games made with NVIDIA in mind. I could potentially fix the flickering by downgrading something specific related to the drivers but considering how dumb I am and what problems I created for myself in the past when I started tweaking stuff with the first two Thief games, I better just leave things be. I did try to remove and/or resize some of the intrusive HUD elements to make the walkthrough a more comfortable viewing experience, but that caused some game breaking issues in various spots in the levels. I also decided against turning on subtitles, because they are LARGE, right in the center of the screen and easily broken by random noises in the world. And, well, honestly Thief is one series of games where the hard of hearing cannot get the experience due to an easy 50% of the game being all about the sound. I'm sorry, deaf people, but there are certain things in life you just can't be a part of, same way that double-leg amputees can't have foot-rubs and I can't enjoy anything that requires thought. We all have our problems.<br />
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I also uploaded an <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWD92ifxmLc" target="_blank">HD Hitman: Blood Money fukkaround</a> video because I thought I fixed the issues I hads with the sound recording, although I still couldn't hear a lot of the stuff I know I said and had to edit out certain sentences where it sounded like I was just whispering or moaning even though I actually spoke out loud. I recorded some more fukkingaround in A Vintage Year the same night, or to be more precise I recorded the cutscenes and briefing and only a minute or two of the actual level, but decided to stop for the evening as recording in HD takes a lot of space and I realized one thing: no matter how much I love Hitman: Blood Money, I just can't come up with anything to say about it while playing. So what I guess I'll do is upload A Vintage Fukkaround someday and then leave the rest of the game, as usual with my LPs and Fukkarounds, to be finished later and start thinking about doing Fukkarounds of games I haven't played yet, including Barbie Diaries: High School Mystery. I promised to do that and I stand behind my words, especially since it should be a lot more interesting for a Fukkaround than a game I like and know inside and out. And there's people's testicles involved, more specifically Martin alias GamerBomb's. Only reason I wish to stall with the Barbie stuff is that the games cost a fortune and while I don't mind making myself look stupid buying and playing a Barbie game, I do mind making myself look stupid by buying and playing an expensive Barbie game. I may be a bit insane, but I am still primarily a cheapskate.<br />
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Admittedly it has been a long time since the last Fukkaround and some people have asked me what Fukkarounds are. The answer is simply that they're Let's Plays done by me, just named differently because some sad elitist LP wankers spend more time trying to shoot down others for crimes against the artform know as "Let's Play" than recording their own videos, and Fukkaround is a more descriptive title for my videos. Sure, "A load of Bollocks" could be an even better title, but Fukkaround is fine. When the LP crowd, and I am exaggerating when using the term "crowd", asked me why the hell my videos suck so much, they couldn't understand it when I said that it's my way of doing LPs, but now that I call them Fukkarounds nobody questions the quality of my running commentary. Some people think LPs are guides, some think they're comedy riffs of games, some think they're casual gameplay, but Fukkarounds are always bad. It's that simple. If you do a Fukkaround it sucks, and if it doesn't then go LP.<br />
I don't really hide the fact that personally I don't like my own LPs and Fukkarounds. I find them to be crap and I'm mostly just ashamed of myself, and one (or more) could ask then why I upload them for the public. Because some people like them for whatever incomprehendable reason, that's why. I find the process of recording videos so amusing that it doesn't take a whole lot away from me to record and upload some bad ones for others to see if they enjoy them, just as long as I don't have to watch them myself. I'm really bad at doing commentary, sure, but why stop because someone like myself criticises myself for something I've done to hurt my own reputation?<br />
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The HD videos, I'm still only trying out different video settings to see what's the best for me and iron out the kinks. Basically every Thief: DS video, which I have six done now (three uploaded), has been rendered differently. Oh, and the videos aren't 1440x900 anymore. I still do record the game at that resolution, but the edited videos I upload are smaller to save some time. Still large enough to be 720p, though, don't worry. In fact, try and spot the changes in quality if you can. I doubt you're able to.<br />
Naturally rendering and uploading considerably larger files than before takes more time and so there's no way I'll upload more than one video a day even when I have some already done, but the only times when people have actually complained about my rate of uploading it's always been about uploading too many videos at once, so there shouldn't be any problems there. Nobody complained even when I didn't upload anything for 6 months, which is kind of sad if you think about it, so why start now.<br />
One thing I really hate about HD, though, is that I get much more video errors now and often can't use the recorded footage "as is" without encoding it with some other program first or re-recording the whole thing again. Fraps recordings sometimes suffer from these small errors that only cause slight stuttering in certain media players, which wouldn't be a big problem if it also didn't cause freezing and crashing in the horribly picky video editing software known as Sony Vegas. But, Fraps is still the best screen capture program, wouldn't catch me saying otherwise. Sure it has it's limitations, but I've tested several other programs in the past and Fraps is easily the best for my line of "work". If something's gotta go, it'll be Sony Vegas when I have money for another editing software again. It's just too bad that Studio 10 and Pinnacle stuff in general doesn't seem to work with 90% of computers and other programs, from my experience.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9A7Plhnrtaa8vv43p48wQZiKCyTabqo9MiatfPu-NQ92U61wcStx7E-YND7jU0B5hg8tjl0PbyXDA_sv6Vh0c-j-Ux7Q8bbz1bAGkOYNjMzQi5At8-qkbkLR7JThEF8F2WriSWkuwd1g/s1600/DK2TorturedPrinces.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9A7Plhnrtaa8vv43p48wQZiKCyTabqo9MiatfPu-NQ92U61wcStx7E-YND7jU0B5hg8tjl0PbyXDA_sv6Vh0c-j-Ux7Q8bbz1bAGkOYNjMzQi5At8-qkbkLR7JThEF8F2WriSWkuwd1g/s320/DK2TorturedPrinces.png" width="320" /></a></div>And, lastly and leastly, I have created a <a href="http://www.gog.com/" target="_blank">GOG.com</a> account. I had some spare dollars left on my PayPal account that I didn't bother to withdraw so I created the account on a whim and bought Deus Ex GOTY and Dungeon Keeper 2. I also finished Dungeon Keeper 2 after so many years of yearning to play it again, and it's a really fun game, albeit quite easy. I wonder why so many people give it so much shit. I know, a lot of people do love it like I do, but in the past I have read more negative reviews of it (usually tagged along with nothing but praise for the first game) than positive.<br />
Also, in the past, some people asked me how they could donate me games to record. Most wanted to send me copies in the mail or pirated ISOs through email (probably just to steal my identity and send me worms) and nobody ever donated me money, not even when I cried and begged them to on my knees, but if you really want to send me free games then the only way I'd ever accept them is if you gift them to me on <a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG.com</a>. Or Steam, but I'm still not big on Steam. But you never will send me anything now will you, you cheap bastards, even though I know you either have a <a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG.com</a> account or will have one because signing up is free and nets you 6 free games (good ones at that) and <a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG.com</a> is simply put awesome, even if I do rather sleep with physical copies of games. Hell, I can burn the <a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG.com</a> games on DVD discs and sleep with them if I really want, am I right?<br />
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Go join <a href="http://www.gog.com/">GOG.com</a>! It's the only way of downloading games that I condone!<br />
And send me free stuff and money, you freeloading cheapskate bums!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.gog.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="78" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkCPDV33vL1nlPlNv8BXxemp3ZKxxYdAZ682unTfFrGcCiXZuOEMKBuaAo96OyNnW4bX5UPSWAwl8q9XySmcivS4F2JdnNx9g6MQJ0B3sqqrpjk3tYxVRZmUfLzej5M5yRnG1yvsU8Ps/s640/blk_728x90.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-13177483361044532002012-02-18T01:32:00.001+02:002012-02-18T01:35:30.286+02:00High Definition is today's word. Or two.When I was young, we didn't care about screen resolutions and picture quality as long as we had a vague flickering image of the Knight Rider on the telly in the afternoon, but in today's modern world, however, a person without the means to receive, or in my case record and stream HD video footage of something people only care to glance at work because nothing else is available is practically worse off than the starving deathly-ill oppressed orphan children in Africa. Well, except that the children don't have High Definition either, they still use old VHSs and SCARTs, so we're pretty much even.<br />
Because of this HD fad I have bravely taken the leap of faith into the mysterious new world the rest of you call "today" and I have put all my money that I could invest in my education into high-end technological hunkajunks in hopes of earning heaps of more money doing basically nothing. In the previous blog post I already informed you of my new Personal Computer with loads of cores to handle tasks, and now, just earlier this week I went out and bought a Hauppauge Highly Definitive Personal Video Recorder and a component cable to boot. Funny thing, I never knew about the other U in Hauppauge. What all that means is that I can finally record PS2 and PS3 games in 1080i. Not that PS2 games were viewable in 1080i, but they will look sharper. Just thought I'd let you know.<br />
Here, take a look at my stupid little HD video I made:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nwgRKDIhYnI" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And if the world keeps turning and churning and all this expensive electronic stuff of mine turns into yesterday's toys before it has paid itself back thrice over, I'll murder someone with an HDMI cable.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On a nearly related note, why doesn't YouTube allow embedding in widescreen? The video changes back to 4:3 when I post this even if I edit the width and height in the HTML code manually. Also, doesn't it just suck that YouTube forces everyone to use that ugly and boring new channel design come March? I honestly gave the new design a fair chance already, and I hated it. Sort of makes the waiting for it even more depressing, knowing for sure what's coming.</div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-56810544077440656072012-02-11T23:57:00.000+02:002012-02-11T23:57:09.772+02:00I bought a new computerFor all my life I have had the habit of lagging years behind everyone else in terms of gaming technology, especially when it comes to PC gaming, but I think I'm finally catching up as I went out today and bought an expensive piece of machinery. It's an AMD P6-2020 A8-3800 with 2,4 clock speed and 8GB RAM and Radeon HD 6570 to handle the moving pictures. Naturally with Windows 7, 64-bit.<br />
I have no idea how good of a PC that is these days and how soon it's declared absolute deadweight for the common user by the more technologically inclined out there, but I can at least play Hitman: Blood Money, Splinter Cell Chaos Theory and Thief: Deadly Shadows on it at max settings with 1400x900 resolution with perfect framerate. Never done that before. And from what I have seen of the system requirements of the more recent PC game releases, I should be set to play quite a few games with quite high graphical settings quite well. The gaming side isn't the only reason for this purchase, but it is something I'll probably do quite a lot.<br />
<br />
What my new PC purchase means for my walkingthrough business is this: I can, in theory, record and upload videos in HD quality now. At least PC games, but I have thought about also buying an HD capture card once my bank account recovers from today's beating.<br />
I promised already to record more of Deep Water (a surprisingly popular game on my channel) and try and record Animaniacs for SEGA Mega Drive, and I suppose I should stick to my word once every 5 years or so, but I do want to at first test my ability to record and edit high quality videos that take years to upload with my slow internet connection.<br />
Some games I'm already planning to record on PC are the aforementioned Hitman: Blood Money (probably a LONG series of Fukksaround), Splinter Cell Chaos Theory and Thief: Deadly Shadows, as well as Death to Spies and Condemned: Criminal Origins. I would also possibly do XIII and Beyond Good and Evil if they work properly, but both of those two I had issues with before despite meeting the system requirements with my old PC.<br />
I am still planning to record more PS2 games, especially Maximo vs Army of Zin, but unfortunately having a new PC doesn't change the fact that Dazzle only records low quality video and since I have plans to upgrade that part of my technology as well I'd like to wait until I can get the best possible footage from the consoles.<br />
<br />
That was about it.<br />
Regarding my physical condition, the legs are healing fine. I do still walk a bit funny due to the minor pains and certainly couldn't run a marathon. Not that I'd ever run a marathon, working legs or no.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-56329003189583273572012-01-26T16:29:00.001+02:002012-01-26T16:30:29.608+02:00Johnny Comes Limping Home. Again.Well, as you may or may not know, in Finland every man who turns 18 is drafted into the Finnish Defence Forces. Three years ago it was my turn and the visit was shortlived due to my knees failing. I spent 5 days trying to march with the pain in my legs, then 5 more days lying in bed of a temporary hospital in the garrison listening to some large metallic thing bang on the wall outside my room day and night. I was sent to an actual hospital where the doctors screwed up in a few ways and sent me back to the garrison too early. I was then released from service and driven to the parking lot of a hospital in my home city with only a modest amount of cash on me and a nearly dead cellphone.<br />
Only things I got from that fun little trip were a haunting pain in my knees that has lasted over the years, arms badly bruised for weeks from literally more than a dozen bloodtests they took during the last 5 days in the all of them hospitals (4 times in a row at one of them because the nurse kept screwing up my social security number and had to redraw my blood every time) and a rather large hospital bill that my mother had to pay because I had no income. And I never got my pay for those weeks I did spend in the army because the clever bastards released me exactly 6 hours before the payday, so I wasn't in their system or eligible to receive the payment anymore at the moment they would've sent it.<br />
There's lots that went wrong that I'll leave out from this post, but overall I can say that it was a shitty trip and I never figured it could get worse.<br />
<br />
Well, three years passed and earlier this month it came time for me to retry this shit again. My class was lowered from A to B due to my knees so I thought I could handle it this time. Those in class B are supposed to have it slightly easier due to their physical conditions, you see. Well, on the first or second evening there a corporal came and told all of us that we shouldn't expect anything to be easier even with our class B papers, that it's just for publicity and in reality it has no bearing in the army. He actually said that, I could put quotation marks around that sentence.<br />
Of course I thought "what the fuck?" and decided to ask about it from a doctor later that week and see if it's true. Indeed, when I asked about it the doctor said "yep, it's true, everybody goes through the same treatment the first two months before you choose you specialisations." Well, I didn' get through even one month three years back, how the hell am I supposed to get through it all now? The doctor told me to "just try" and sent me away.<br />
Of course, over time the pain in my knees got worse and worse to the point that walking became difficult (again) and I had to go see a doctor about it (again), and I was again told to just try and finish my service anyway. I didn't get any painkillers or anything, and I had to still try to do the same shit that everyone else did that I couldn't have done even with healthy legs.<br />
<br />
I got so pissed off that I made my mind and decided to quit the army and pick the alternative way to handle my duties as a Finnish person. Of course, it wasn't easy because at first the lieutenant asked me to rethink and go talk to the captain the next morning if I hadn't changed my mind. Of course I didn't change my mind, I was dying in there and I didn't get any help from anywhere, what fucking choice did I have? Stay there until I couldn't even crawl anymore and then get driven back home again to pay a few more hospital bills with no money?<br />
The captain tried to talk me out of it as well, only he wasn't as nice about it as the lieutenant. I'm not even going to try and explain everything he said, but he's a stuck-up dick who doesn't seem to care about other people, and I'm not just talking about my situation. The captain was an overall jerk and tried to scare me to stay. What he basically told me, in a nutshell, was that he couldn't just throw me out of the army with bad knees and insisted that I at least go speak with a doctor (again).<br />
Well, I'll skip the waiting and walking and talking even though it was a pretty rough day and just get on with it. The doctor at first didn't want to get involved because it's not his job to discuss with me about my choice to leave the army, but agreed to sign a paper that basically said that my knees would get better over time and that I would be able to walk normal and handle my civil duties someday (even though he doesn't really know that for sure). And then he fucked up and had my classification changed to "capable of regular military service", but nothing ever came from that so I won't dwell on it. And I still didn't get any painkillers or anything.<br />
I finally returned to the captain who made another speech about how I shouldn't quit and blah blah, but grudgingly let me go and fill a form that you quit the army with because he had to admit that it's my right to choose and he couldn't keep me there against my will. It's one of the few rights people still have in this country, I do believe, but it seems to be a constant struggle to keep it. At least in my case it was.<br />
Well, I returned the form but of course it wouldn't get sent anywhere that day because I was running stupid errands all day and apparently the big shots in the army like to stop working an hour and a half too early and since it was Friday my paper would't get processed until Monday, so I decided to go home for the weekend. This isn't the end of my day, though.<br />
<br />
We were released 1 hour 40 minutes AFTER the last bus for the day had left and our garrison is in the middle of nowhere, so of course getting back home was going to be a teensy bit tricky. Thankfully I got to know some great guys in the army who offered me a ride to the bus station of a nearby city so I wasn't left just standing there in the snowstorm, but unfortunately what none of us knew was that this city is apparently a shithole and has no busses going to my home city. Yup, great, now stranded in a slightly larger place in the middle of nowhere, at night when it's cold and snowing.<br />
Well, long story short (too late), I took the next bus to a completely different city where I then caught another bus home and when I got back here I had to take another bus from downtown (dubbed the "drunk-train") to get all the way home. I arrived home at 05.30 Saturday morning, and I had left the garrison 17.30 Friday evening. 12 hours of traveling with a fever and two legs I can barely walk on. I ran out of money paying the bus fares and only barely made it home, by the way. And the army doesn't compensate for those rides either. They would if I had only taken one bus, but since I had to take several they won't. Kind of a shitty situation to be in.<br />
I spent the weekend at home and then on Sunday evening went back to the garrison for one night to wait for my paper to get processed, and indeed the next morning I got the word that I was getting out. It was a rough day, running back and forth carrying loads of stuff around, but I got through it with the help of a cruch and loads of painkillers I took from home since, once again, the army didn't provide me anything, and at last I were a free man again. Still not quite the end of the story.<br />
<br />
I missed the last bus home. Yup, I had very slowly walked to the nearest bus stop in the middle of nowhere and missed the last bus to anywhere for the day. I actually got to see it as it drove past me as I had gotten to the stop, which is much more infuriating than missing it by 20 minutes or something. And it was again cold and snowing, and I hadn't eaten all day. Well, nothing else to do but walk about 5-6 miles in the middle of dark woods I don't know to the nearest "city" I've never been in (it's a smaller place than the neighbourhood I live in, not much of a city). Took me several hours and several stops for moments of silent crying, but I pushed through. Probably mostly thanks to the painkillers.<br />
Once I finally found my way to the "city" I had a quick bite in a local fast-food joint and then sent a message home regarding my current whereabouts. Of course this "city" was the very place where all those "last busses for the day" leave from so now I would've been promptly stuck there for the next 10 hours. Thankfully my sister claims to be wealthy (she's only doing better than me and my mother) so she called a taxi to get me home and paid for it.<br />
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Now I'm home, unable to walk and I'm told I have bronchitis. At least I didn't lose 20 kilograms like last time.<br />
That's the story of Johnny in the Finnish Defence Forces. I'm never going back there!<br />
<br />
By the way, walking 5-6 miles in pitch black woods in the middle of nowhere when you're sick, have two busted knees, are dehydrated and haven't eaten anything besides painkillers is a really fucking stupid idea and I can't blame the army for that. Though as far as I'm concerned, they now owe me about 330 euros for all the expenses.<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>BUT I'M BACK!</b></span></div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-25246805627118170042011-12-29T20:14:00.001+02:002011-12-29T20:15:52.505+02:00KA-BLOOM!Merry New Year! Or almost, in a couple of days. You'll probably read this in 2012, though, so it doesn't matter.<br />
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Haven't been in any Christmas spirit thanks to the damn army, but I'm still going to list the gifts I got like I do every year. I won't take any pictures this time, though, because I just can't be bothered. Damn army!<br />
I got candy, sports clothing, the fifth season of McCloud on DVD, a film called True Gun on DVD, a Terence Hill film called Man of the East on DVD, a John Wayne film called The Barbarian and the Geisha on DVD, a book about the artist Kaj Stenvall, a Kaj Stenvall calendar, an oddly official and fancy Disney's Mickey Mouse notebook that is so fancy I won't dare to ever write anything in it, AND I got Saints Row: The Third for PS3.<br />
I wasn't supposed to get anything much for Christmas this year because my mother already bought me a new PS3 when my old one broke and she also decided to pay for the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim hat I got last month, and those were chalked up to being early Christmas gifts because I wouldn't stop insisting on paying for them myself.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg04YOj_Q7V-_Ktou65Yg7KeP-3LLnbjwFoFqOvAcwIUHgLcUZqxrFSrDsMOhaVbGr2w4bGv0KzkUsGw05CZjZeIG8SP0qIPW8zk4cwz4nfP2q5vicoLM0FG0NY32Jso9RikT4C-8Yw3wA/s1600/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg04YOj_Q7V-_Ktou65Yg7KeP-3LLnbjwFoFqOvAcwIUHgLcUZqxrFSrDsMOhaVbGr2w4bGv0KzkUsGw05CZjZeIG8SP0qIPW8zk4cwz4nfP2q5vicoLM0FG0NY32Jso9RikT4C-8Yw3wA/s200/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot01.jpg" width="200" /></a>Already finished Saints Row: The Third once and it's the new walkthrough I'll start uploading today. Fun game. I like how the game is so insane that absolutely anything can happen, but it still feels like the feet are somehow kept on the ground. I also really like the amount of character customization and the freedom of changing your character completely during the game whenever you want after the first two missions if you get bored of looking the same all the time.<br />
I thought the best person suited for the action in this game, or any game ever made, was Cate Archer so I created her once I found the the go-go suit.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRRaulBoQ9IPo-LwpHA85yovMLJ4OdHB-YEl1lmAJe6BRqT30_gx3ooiTQV88CCqyUWirmlN2X3CRI2xwt5YD5xp9rTcNtiesLBcDA9kimL0hwE9m78ldoyaj5QePLqKvIjNjiakP7DeU/s1600/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRRaulBoQ9IPo-LwpHA85yovMLJ4OdHB-YEl1lmAJe6BRqT30_gx3ooiTQV88CCqyUWirmlN2X3CRI2xwt5YD5xp9rTcNtiesLBcDA9kimL0hwE9m78ldoyaj5QePLqKvIjNjiakP7DeU/s200/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot02.jpg" width="200" /></a>Seriously, Cate Archer is the most beautiful video game character ever and has been into more shit than most video game characters combined. In fact, a lot of actions sequences in Saints Row: The Third bring into mind the No One Lives Forever games. Does freefalling from an airplane without a parachute while gunning down goons ring any bells? Yup, NOLF had that and Saints Row the Third has that.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15aumIL7LlwjqUAfoWoibtfL41yvR0AqI3MTqRMfNfKBT5a6Gve3vqFgs8w6rEtZORGC16DXfD2SyH53L7YvKVn2sWFP5PCIw602siCIZHcq3_AGh7zxCBDpHqeiMAYCzl68R-Z4qKI4/s1600/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15aumIL7LlwjqUAfoWoibtfL41yvR0AqI3MTqRMfNfKBT5a6Gve3vqFgs8w6rEtZORGC16DXfD2SyH53L7YvKVn2sWFP5PCIw602siCIZHcq3_AGh7zxCBDpHqeiMAYCzl68R-Z4qKI4/s200/SaintsRowthethird_screenshot03.jpg" width="200" /></a>I also created a perfect lookalike of Agent 47 from Hitman, but switched back to Cate because, quite frankly, Cate has breasts. Cate's breasts beat anything. In fact, Cate herself refers to them as good "weapons" in NOLF1 chapter titled "A Man of Influence" when Tom Goodman wonders how she's going to get to Dumas, and in a game as crazy as Saints Row the Third you need all the special weapons you can get. Also, I'm a lonely heterosexual young adult male, I like breasts. What's so wrong with that? While were on the subject of breasts, Saints Row the Third also has excellent breast physics, best I have seen. Only problem is that large breasts in the game look ugly, so you're better off going with smaller ones. Mmmm, breasts...<br />
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Oh, I also got 50 euros from relatives so I went and spent it right after Christmas (I don't have a lot of relatives).<br />
You remember that <a href="http://www.johnnydfox.blogspot.com/2011/09/johnny-foxs-top-ten-most-wanted-games.html" target="_blank">top ten most wanted games list</a> I did a long, long time ago? Remember game #3 from that list, Maximo vs Army of Zin? Just try and guess where I'm going with this.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihvGIURS847BzuQBBj4NfKn-88lLTVis4IELFYj-XzI7L_zKdMc56fxghzjuJ9um1FsxzowIQoROByCQ5hNFasOI5oR-tlV65MquYP8PU0re-FMyhRIz5e9-MGjqg2JV3Pp-xi8AR73x0/s1600/2011-12-29+19-02-20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihvGIURS847BzuQBBj4NfKn-88lLTVis4IELFYj-XzI7L_zKdMc56fxghzjuJ9um1FsxzowIQoROByCQ5hNFasOI5oR-tlV65MquYP8PU0re-FMyhRIz5e9-MGjqg2JV3Pp-xi8AR73x0/s200/2011-12-29+19-02-20.jpg" width="200" /></a>Yes, I bought it. New copy, too. Been hunting for it since 2003... or was it even earlier since I learned about it from a demo and a preview article? Anyway, it's instances like these that give life a meaning. You look for something, and almost a decade later you find it. I'm almost not even bothered by the fact that I don't have any time to actually play it until next summer thanks to this army business, because I have obligations as a YouTube Partner and must spend the next 11 days recording, editing and uploading just so that the Fullscreen people don't think I'm a complete shithead that disappears into thin air for 6 months. I know I've already proven that I am, but I don't want THEM to think that.<br />
Fucking army. Would it be too much to ask for world peace and laws against military training for the start of 2012?<br />
<br />
I bet that right when I'm returning home later next year I'll get run over by a bus before I get to my PS2. It would be just my luck.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-72961487127791144572011-11-25T16:25:00.009+02:002011-11-26T02:35:52.877+02:00I am a YT Partner<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u> Achtung!</u></b></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>I haven't proof-read this blog post that I wrote in a hurry so it most likely has hundreds of typos</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>and half-done sentences that make absolutely no sense! Keep this in mind just in case.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
I haven't felt like doing anything this whole month and I just didn't feel like writing blog posts before that, but I suppose I have to try and pretend there's still life here and give you, one person, the general jist of things that have been going on before I receive a delivery of my own copy of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and lock myself away again for a few weeks.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiM6BQEASEUR0rMp4e8eag7sMAMYE6hpaCMKDtL8D9RrDYhm_jvad9PzeSU2eMIasfAefXO67CKWFwheu5M-_F0Ka7L_uqxExlupwE0VDTB4cygrh55oeYxbcx9I4O0pPT0wN01eYENDk/s1600/jaggedalliance2image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiM6BQEASEUR0rMp4e8eag7sMAMYE6hpaCMKDtL8D9RrDYhm_jvad9PzeSU2eMIasfAefXO67CKWFwheu5M-_F0Ka7L_uqxExlupwE0VDTB4cygrh55oeYxbcx9I4O0pPT0wN01eYENDk/s1600/jaggedalliance2image1.jpg" /></a></div>This past month all I've wanted to do is sedate my brain with video games and movies and forget everything else for awhile, and I tried out some games I've had sitting around for a long time.<br />
I finally managed to install <b>Jagged Alliance 2</b>, after a few failed tries, and played it for a few days. I have to say I was expecting a little bit more from it, possibly out of desperation to find a new awesome game to keep me occupied for weeks, but it's still alright. It's a bit like Fallout in a non-apocalyptic (debatable) setting if you replaced majority of the quests with straight up firefights and added in this mercenary business element you have to keep in mind.<br />
One of the reasons I was eager to play Jagged Alliance 2 was that I really loved having firefights in Fallout and Fallout 2 and JA2 is just more of that basically, but I quite frankly didn't like many of the areas I ended up having fights in. I really enjoy shootouts indoors in rooms and corridors and with stuff I can take cover behind and strategize with, but during my first 24 hours of play I only ever saw open areas like airfields and not-so-dense forests. The few times when a fight could've taken place somewhere with stuff, the enemies always stayed in the wide open where I couldn't possibly get to them without having my ass shot up. Seriously, my healthy mercenaries with 85-95 (out of 100) marksmanship armed with rifles (long range weapons) couldn't hit the enemies as often as the enemies armed with revolvers (close range weapons) hit me when firing from great distances, so trying to attack enemies standing in an open space was ridiculously dangerous considering the circumstances. I eventually became too careful with my moves, only moving an inch at a time with the entire squad and as the battles got slower and slower the fun drained out. The movement speed both in battle and out of battle is soooooooooooo slow even for the fastest characters that it really got tiring.<br />
When I realized that my first owned mine could actually run out of ore and stop giving me money, and would actually do that soon, I decided to stop playing. I was just trying to learn what everything does for the first time ever and threw money around like it was nothing once I took over the mine, and if I wanted to continue playing I would've really needed to start a new game and play better, and I just couldn't be bothered to spend another two-three days redoing the fights in the open spaces.<br />
But, it's a fun game and I understand why some people love it so, and I know that even I have times when I could really get into it. Just not right now.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgKmjGnpvgMUptu5QqReWt5kbD-4KYhVXP584t60vdpJW9VxqvQp_BanKD9NMhNXK94jHCUWcf5ZKHPEH8RvyRTxyf8gHmXyAgCxnmAcDiOSd1oO6XcSPrJP9zqT8eks_b3mg-ituJ8I/s1600/teamfortress2image1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgKmjGnpvgMUptu5QqReWt5kbD-4KYhVXP584t60vdpJW9VxqvQp_BanKD9NMhNXK94jHCUWcf5ZKHPEH8RvyRTxyf8gHmXyAgCxnmAcDiOSd1oO6XcSPrJP9zqT8eks_b3mg-ituJ8I/s1600/teamfortress2image1.jpg" /></a></div>I also finally downloaded <b>Team Fortress 2</b>, because I can't say no to free stuff even if it's from Steam and takes a quarter of a day to download.<br />
I can definitely see why it's a hit. The gameplay is fun and hectic and any way you want to play it, you can, because there's a class for everyone for every situation. What I really appreciate is that they also added in an offline practice mode, which I think is rare for full online multiplayer games. I know there usually tends to be a quick tutorial mode in every game to teach you the controls, sure, but TF2 has an actual offline battle mode that has a really good AI for the bots and feels almost the same as the actual game with people. This really great because one of the problems with online multiplayer is that once the game has been out for a while new players have a lot more trouble trying to fit in with the old crowd that has already learned all the tricks and make fun of all the people who haven't, and TF2 is especially difficult to get good at because there's so many classes and each one is so different from the others, but with a practice mode you can hone your skills in private without the fear of everyone calling you a noob fag in the chat because your repeated failing at a backstab is the sole reason tyour team lost. I can personally vouch that the offline practice mode helped me get in to the game faster AND it was fun to play.<br />
Over the course of two days I played on two servers, one Finnish server which seemed fun and friendly although there was very little chat activity, and the Video Games Awesome! server that had much, much more talking and clearly most of the people were good sports, but there was one guy who talked smack to people he thought weren't good enough. Didn't say anything about me, but being a <i>noob fag</i> myself I take offense on behalf of the other people.<br />
So, can you expect to see me playing TF2 a lot from now on? No, for one very good reason: my graphics card is crap and whenever the there's a lot of movement onscreen, which is all the time in TF2, it gets a little bit choppy even at the lowest settings. Not so much that it would ruin the fun entirely, but it's annoying nevertheless and I could never be able to play a spy, a sniper or a scout like that seeing as how those classes demand speeds and precision around enemies. I might still play on occasion when I really don't have anything else to do, but really not going to be very often and the only thing I will ever play as is the demoman, or sometimes the medic. And I never know when is the best time to release über as medic, although I haven't had any complaints so far.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyc8-QvU3f4ijvJIMAXUvSrvp66hlom9Imnvm3ugZgRFeCmMRcx3msXrj5LAzBvyopUOB8KenIvMmYod-kEzSz80bSchTlNXm2j3f8QS75Vy2TdA9HRXCAs7xq7BkJjWN93wPywtDCVhU/s1600/fightingangelsimage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyc8-QvU3f4ijvJIMAXUvSrvp66hlom9Imnvm3ugZgRFeCmMRcx3msXrj5LAzBvyopUOB8KenIvMmYod-kEzSz80bSchTlNXm2j3f8QS75Vy2TdA9HRXCAs7xq7BkJjWN93wPywtDCVhU/s1600/fightingangelsimage1.jpg" /></a></div>I also played <b>Fighting Angels</b> for PS2, which I'm sure is all of your most favourite video game ever. It's a Japanese budget title originally from the Simple 2000 series, and it's a bit like a really crappy version of Rumble Roses. It has no voice acting, it has no story, it has really only one arena, all the outfits are shared between all the fighters so there's no differences between one fighter or the other, the controls are awful, he idea that some matches in this wrestling game are to the death and allow you to use a M16 is ludicrous BUT sadly the game is not ridiculous enough because the M16 deal is the ONLY funny aspect of the game, and what's really the last nail on the coffin is that the game covers far less fetishes than Rumble Roses.<br />
If you want to jerk off to a video game about Japanese women wrestling in silly settings, get Rumble Roses because it has most of the types of sexy fantasies playable, whether it's an almost naked ninja girl, an obviously underage school girl who "officially" is 18, a sexy teacher, a sexy nurse, a latex devil, a biker in a black leather catsuit... well, you get the idea. All Fighting Angels really gives you is almost identical bikini chicks.<br />
Trust me, you have to be really pathetic to buy Fighting Angels as it's worth nobody's money despite it being a budget title.<br />
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And yes, I am pathetic for buying Fighting Angels, but I had a good reason to get it: I collect Simple 2000 series games as a joke. I actually like some of them.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qXrVNIoBBW6HsOhFn5hyphenhyphenZsc0F9FGgDq293QCPHBntEAsdfvbtDiDz8XXhxnCYY3HeIXw7prhtCZz_1NMsDF8b4SxN4COAPHZCvUVe6ZWp6wVX_pGY2pc09fgqb9fxzqs1N1FPFIbTa4/s1600/CommandosStrikeForceImage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qXrVNIoBBW6HsOhFn5hyphenhyphenZsc0F9FGgDq293QCPHBntEAsdfvbtDiDz8XXhxnCYY3HeIXw7prhtCZz_1NMsDF8b4SxN4COAPHZCvUVe6ZWp6wVX_pGY2pc09fgqb9fxzqs1N1FPFIbTa4/s1600/CommandosStrikeForceImage1.jpg" /></a></div>I also played <b>Commandos: Strike Force</b> for PS2. Commandos 2 is really the best isometric real-time strategy game I have ever played and I actually prepared a big review post of it months ago that I never actually completed, but it's always questionable how well a game like that translates to a first- or third-person viewpoint. I'd say it works really well in Strike Force, I actually liked it. Of course, the game really isn't anything like Commandos 2, as you have much, MUCH smaller missions, much less characters and much more shooting action. In Commandos 2 you infiltrate these ginormous installations patrolled by a couple of hundred enemies and it can take you several long hours to complete a single level, so some of the missions from Strike Force seem like Wario Ware games in comparison, but then I suppose that's always the case when comparing a little more action oriented 3rd person game to a point-and-click strategy game where action usually means game over.<br />
The only things that bug me and bug me bad about Strike Force are the horrid controls and the damn loading times on PS2. I don't know about the PC version, but the controls feel a little clunky on the controller and what stopped me from playing the game further was the fact that whenever you fail you have to start the ENTIRE mission over and suffer through the awfully long loading screen again, and repeating sections of the missions just gets boring.<br />
But, I do think I could enjoy it on the PC if some of the problems don't exist in that version. I really liked Death to Spies, and Commandos Strike Force is a lot like a <i>Death to Spies lite</i> with it's sniper/spy oriented stealth gameplay sections where you strangle people dressed in a disguise and sabotage equipment or sneak in bushes and stab enemies in the back when they go off alone and then snipe some other guards from a distance.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijXAw_LAAfIjU6dmlqLITMk5bkNjeP5UeSE6iU1fdcVbSJY_msH81SlKMKORLb6SjLlsdXVXcFKt4itWQhwvZHOuUbw98YhUchCNw33Xwb4vADlDEVgpNK31cAmdeWQ6gKxPO9yJjsDr4/s1600/elderscrollsoblivionimage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijXAw_LAAfIjU6dmlqLITMk5bkNjeP5UeSE6iU1fdcVbSJY_msH81SlKMKORLb6SjLlsdXVXcFKt4itWQhwvZHOuUbw98YhUchCNw33Xwb4vADlDEVgpNK31cAmdeWQ6gKxPO9yJjsDr4/s1600/elderscrollsoblivionimage1.jpg" /></a></div>I have also played <b>The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion</b> a lot recently, and I do mean a lot. I decided to give it another go to see if it's really any good and if I should think about getting Skyrim. You may be aware that I didn't think very highly of Oblivion in the past, and I have said such things as "the level up system is designed ass-backwards" and "it's time consuming in a bad way" because while I have put a few hundred hours into the game I never got much entertainment out of it. It always just tricked me into doing chores in hopes that I start having fun soon and before you knew it I had leveled up too high and became weaker in comparison to the ever-growing-in-power regular enemies and had no fun fighting stuff with my abilities because almost every common enemy at that level can take anything you dish out to them.<br />
Well, having played a stealth based, almost full-thief/ranger character and then a full mage character with no effort put into blades or any of that crap, I at first had tons of fun roleplaying a character. I had exciting battles where I almost lost and sometimes easy ones where I dominated, and I started to regret everything bad I've said about the game. I thought I began understanding the logic behind how the level up system works and how the leveled loot and enemies make sense, but again, once I reached level 20 or so, which was really soon because I followed the game's ass-backwards recommendations to how to build a character, the fun was gone again. I could turn the difficulty down but that's not really fun either after a while. I don't want everything to be easy, I just want variety in the encounters. On normal difficulty I kept running into these behemoths of adversaries who can soak 400 points worth of damage, and having literally a dozen of those 3-5 minute long battles during the travel from one city to another got tiring, especially since they're supposed to be sort of easy, and in comparison to quests that take you into tight spaces they are. When kiting a Minotaur Lord around the forest and blasting at it with poisoned daedric arrows with a daedric bow with 100 marksman (and 100 alchemy + expert equipment for the poisons) for 5 minutes becomes your most common "random" battle, the game gets DULL as all hell.<br />
Seriously, this is a well known fact and I can't stress this enough if you ever want to enjoy Oblivion: make your major skills something you NEVER would use and then stop leveling up at around levels 12-16 if you really want to feel like you actually grow in power. If you take the game's own advice on what kind of character to play as, you become WEAKER over a very short period of time due to the constant use of the skills that raise your level.<br />
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I couldn't have gotten tired of Oblivion (again) at a better time because although I already made the choice of not getting Skyrim, after watching Angry Joe's review of it I reversed that decision immediately. If what the reviews say is true, Skyrim fixes every problem that ever stopped me from having fun in Oblivion, and really I don't think Oblivion sucks that horribly either, just the level up system screws you over bad if you get too carried away playing instead of counting skill points for hours.<br />
I really hope Skyrim, which I should have in my hands literally within the next hour, really is as good as advertised, and while I am a young curmudgeon who hates everything I hate to admit I am really excited about playing that fantastically awesome piece of shit game from the lovable incompetent people at Bethesda. I'm just joshing of course, developers like Bethesda, despite their occasional bugs and design mistakes, don't really deserve hate. It's too popular to be hateful of big titles these days, and when an exaggerating hatefilled little cock like me says that, I think it means something.<br />
<br />
Maybe it means that Christmas spirit has crept into my black heart. Now that I think of it I have had some heartburns lately...<br />
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I also watched the Fred Astaire film <b>The Band Wagon</b> last night. It was fun. <br />
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Oh, yeah, and I'm a YouTube partner now thanks to the kind people at Fullscreen.net and their seemingly limitless patience with me and my doofusness with worng email addressess and whatnot.<br />
This means I will be putting more effort into the YouTube channel than ever before, which really isn't a lot, and not until I get my share of Skyrim. Also means that people don't have to keep repeatedly asking me why I haven't been accepted as a partner yet despite my thousands of crappy videos. I am a partner now, happy? No? Why not?Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-25487101314105555792011-10-11T19:32:00.000+03:002011-10-11T19:32:36.702+03:00No next generation for you, dudesThe story behind this post is that in the GameFaqs Batman: Arkham City PS3 board someone asked in a topic if people think the PlayStation 3 will continue to get new games for another 3-4 years or will the next generation of consoles get announced soon. To my horror clear majority of people replying to him foolishly believe that this generation will last only a year or two at best, some waiting for a new Sony or Microsoft console in 2012 already. One guy there even believes that the WiiU is the first console of the next generation, not really understanding that it's just Nintendo trying to catch up and get their cut from this gen.<br />
So, in my wisdom I posted my reply. This is it.<br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote>Like it's been said by other people already, the technology leaps right now for the next console would be so abysmal it's not worth it to produce a new system. Sure, there's always some potential for an upgrade but right now the new technology a PS4 or X720 would need to be worth buying for the average gamer would cost too much to produce in mass and sell for a price the regular consumer could afford.<br />
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Furthermore, it's not the consoles themselves Microsoft or Sony get profit from, it's the game sales. In fact, Sony has lost a ton of money with PS3 as a console, because they have to sell it for less than it actually costs to manufacture, but this tactic pays off in the end when they get their share of money from the games. Without a console there would be no game revenue so the initial loss is perfectly acceptable.<br />
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The only reason Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo will create new consoles is to have the advantage. The consumer is a dumb animal who obediently follows the leader for shallow rewards, and if one console is much more advanced than others then people are likely to be more interested in buying that one for many reasons. Maybe they think it'll last longer than the previous generations of consoles or just believe that the new technology will open new worlds for game design. Regardless, the company with the console that sells or has sold a lot is the one that is like to also sell more games. It's why Sony didn't hurry PS3 out and why PS2 games were being developed even after PS3 came out, because so many people already owned a PS2 that it was guaranteed that PS2 games would continue to make profit, for a short while even more than PS3 games when we count in what they lost with the actual console.<br />
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WiiU is just Nintendo's way to get their share of current gen game sales. It's not any more advanced as a console than PS3 or X360 is, but when it's out those old Nintendo fans who so far have only had Sony and Microsoft to offer them the many popular HD titles in recent years will get a chance to jump back on the Nintendo wagon and give them their money.<br />
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You have to understand that Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft don't put out new consoles out of love for technology or because they like to amaze their customers, but because they want to make a profit. Sometimes it's just a good business tactic to put out a new console.<br />
Right now, Sony and Microsoft are on top of the world because they are selling games like crazy. Putting out a new console now would be stupid of both of them because they wouldn't be able to get any significant advantage over the other and would risk losing money on the manufacturing costs. They will milk this generation until it looks dry, and THEN move on.<br />
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So yes, I do indeed think PS3 has another 3-4 good years left.</blockquote></div><br />
I posted this message here on this blog for two reasons. One, I have nothing else to fill the blog with again, sorry. Second, this post is a good way to show you that I do indeed write long rants on the Internet on a daily basis. I often write this much even on YouTube comment sections for crying out loud, and it's the exact reason why I'm always so amazed at being seemingly unable to post new stuff on my own blog more often. I suppose I always need a discussion starter, something to break the gates.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-33269424403947982312011-09-30T02:57:00.000+03:002011-09-30T02:57:36.966+03:00I didn't buy Dead Island, and I guess I never will<div style="text-align: justify;">Sheeet, I'll just write this blog post out so that I'll have something new up here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, if you haven't followed my twitter updates like you should because I'm awesome, there's a few completely uninteresting things I can tell you about here and now in length.<br />
Despite my bad habit of spending everything I have on shitty games nobody's ever liked I have actually been saving money lately so that I can buy Batman: Arkham City on the release day, BUT some weeks ago I got a little oddjob to do that paid me enough to buy one new game in addition to Arkham City, and I kept precariously teetering on the brickwall of choice between Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Dead Island for quite a while. It wasn't so much that I didn't realise Deus Ex was definitely worth getting now because I have had my eyes set on it ever since I heard Spoony and Angry Joe talking about it a year back in their 2010 E3 videos, but it just seemed like Dead Island's co-op alone could be worth getting that one now and get Deus Ex: HR cheap for Christmas. I kept watching days worth of playthroughs of Dead Island and read reviews of both games like mad while trying to figure out what to buy. I even got so frustrated with not being able to make a decision that at one point I figured I'd better not buy either of them if it's this difficult. Thought I better save that money and buy something shitty, old and used instead, like Quest For Sleeping Beauty or Street Boyz. Yes, I will buy those two games someday, I'm just waiting for my loose screws to drop.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Eventually, though, I decided to buy something new for once and I came into the conclusion that although there is a chance that I could have a fantastic co-op experience in Dead Island with Gamerbomb, who I thank for offering to play it through with me, it's not a game that deserves to be paid in full for. It seem Dead Island derives all it's best qualities from other, much more successful games, and while there's nothing wrong with taking existing ideas, you still have to make the fucking game playable. Dead Island is such a lazy effort from the developers that even I get mad at it just by watching other people play it. It looks to be a game that mixes some basic ideas from bigger hits like Borderlands, Left 4 Dead and Fallout 3 but ends up being a repetitive, unimaginative <i>'smack mad people on the head and collect a few dollars from their corpses to rub on your weapons'</i> type of experience covered in glitches, sometimes horrible game breaking bugs. The idea of taking the weapon level/rarity/upgrade system from Borderlands is just silly with the weapons being kitchen knives and sticks (that are relatively rare for a supposedly realistic world), the story seems to be just awful, the characters lack character, the environments seem dull, the whole game is about beating up zombies in such a manner it doesn't seem fun after the first hour (which should be impossible to do because killing zombies is always fun), and the mechanic of fixing your weapons with nothing but money every 5 minutes is a lazy attempt to make the players feel like they're doing periodic maintenance of equipment and being self-sufficient and pro-active in the post-apocalypse.<br />
Seriously, I got so mad at Dead Island just by watching other people play it that I dare not fathom what might happen if I actually spent any of my own money on it. I honestly feel that Dead Island with it's boring presentantion of what are supposed to be tried and true game mechanics, riddled with bugs that were only made worse with the patch that was supposed to fix everything, does not deserve to be bought at full price. I don't think I'll ever actually buy it myself, and I don't think I'll even mention the title to anyone in case someone from my family gets an idea to gift the game to me. <br />
I don't care if the developer is a small-time studio that could use the support and I don't care if it's actually the publisher's fault for rushing the unfinished project out, because the one thing than matters is, <i>"is it worth buying in my current situation"</i>. To me it seems like Dead Island is not.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So I bought Deus Ex: Human Revolution and have actually already beat it twice, and I can tell you now that it is one of the relatively rare games that really deserves to be paid good money for. It's a lot of fun with a lot of replay value regardless of whether you prefer gunplay or sneaking, although I think it's mandatory to enjoy things like reading stuff and listening to dialogue because half of the game is just straight up story. I'm not sure I would say it's a masterpiece or definitely the best game this year yet in terms of overall quality and polish, but it is such a solid and entertaining game that it feels greater than the sum of it's already decent enough parts, and I now have faith in Eidos Montreal's ability to make Thief 4 an entertaining experience. And let me just tell you here and now, it is NOT an RPG like some people call it, it only has vague RPG elements. It's a linear action adventure game with occasional hub-like city areas you can momentarily roam in with optional tasks to accomplish and a plethora of alternative methods of play to try out, with RPG-like elements on the top. I think I'll actually write a detailed and lengthy review of it some day, but I was thinking I'd try recording a walkthrough of it first so that I'll get at least three runs under my belt and have a more solid basis for my final thoughts, and that way I'd also be able to get screenshots for the review without relying on outside sources.<br />
If you don't remember or didn't follow me way back when, I originally created this blog ONLY to serve as a throwaway general update page for my then website johnnydfox.com (courtesy of D. Stygle from PSDProtocol, thank you Darren for paying my bills for one year) that I could update easily without logging into my server host all the time just to update one file with two short sentences, but after being left with only this blog I have decided over the past year to aim at only posting three types of updates: full reviews of games and films, long-ish rants of individual aspects of games and films that alone would serve as good discussion points if anybody cared about what I think, and lastly as well as leastly the completely useless posts that only serve to link my walkthroughs and LPs to this blog (like the previous four posts), and I really wish to be able to provide whatever images I use in reviews myself and not have to pilfer them from MobyGames everytime. So basically, only deep thoughts or nothing with only self-took screenshots or nothing. Of course I haven't come even close to reaching this goal, like, ever, but a man can dream. Unless he's mentally unable to do so, which I think you'd have to discuss with a doctor of some kind instead if you have such problems.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Personal life updates like what the colour of the hair of the girl that gave me an embarrassing boner in the bus was or how my digestion is, like am I still crapping green nuggets or is there blood in there, I would hope to keep between me and my twitter followers.<br />
So, in 2027 there will be nothing but insightful articles on this blog and nothing but shit in the twitter. Stay tuned till then, my deranged pals from another uncle.<br />
This has once again been a 3 in the morning update for no reason other than me being bored while waiting for videos to upload, from your smoking hot neighbourhood adonis who shouldn't ever open his mouth in public.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Be seeing you.<br />
<br />
<hr width=350 />EDIT:</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Regarding the suspected time of availability of the Deus Ex: HR walkthrough, it's probably going to take a while. I really like sticking to recording one game at a time and I really want to do the Thief games back to back which takes a couple more weeks to finish. I also want to try and do Batman: Arkham Asylum in anticipation of Arkham City's release. By the time Arkham Asylum is up, if it stays up and doesn't get taken down by 12-year-old kids who found out YouTube's greatest weakness, that being that the service is unreliable and often easily manipulatable crap, I'll already be playing Arkham City, unless it's release date gets pushed like it probably will. I'd say you can expect Deus Ex halfway through November, at the earliest.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you actually read all the way through this post without skipping a single line when there aren't even any images to look at, get your head examined. I think it may be cracked. Why are you even reading my blog in the first place?</span></div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-12530479936332320462011-09-28T00:08:00.000+03:002011-09-28T00:08:01.470+03:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEkfm9uCWL9EwV9fM4tYnWSpgstv0h7KfanKX2Rn53qirLdxzLEvOAabi71SwiWe7oDHiGeqSzhVWYR4DWsgRTNupT8YXgpcVubPQ0X2D53fcXUY0UVge4u0ZR-xug4DCQsbqKHllcOl0/s1600/thiefiithemetalage_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEkfm9uCWL9EwV9fM4tYnWSpgstv0h7KfanKX2Rn53qirLdxzLEvOAabi71SwiWe7oDHiGeqSzhVWYR4DWsgRTNupT8YXgpcVubPQ0X2D53fcXUY0UVge4u0ZR-xug4DCQsbqKHllcOl0/s1600/thiefiithemetalage_cover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Thief II: The Metal Age</b></span><br />
PC<br />
<blockquote><i>Slip through the shadows. Steal to survive. On the streets and rooftops of a darkened city, where the forces of a corrupt sheriff loom, it takes someone with a soft touch and even softer step to stay ahead of the law. For a master thief like Garrett, the choices are clear: profit or perish. Thief II: The Metal Age expands on the smash-hit "first-person sneaker", Thief: The Dark Project, demanding a whole new level of stealth, strategy and skill to survive.</i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL2487FD9841544E52&hl=en_GB" width="640"></iframe><span style="font-size: x-small;">Recorded with Fraps</span></blockquote><br />
A great game. An awesome game. A regular masterpiece. Took all the great things that the original Thief gave birth to and made them better. The definitive sneaking game.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-57388955897077006792011-09-28T00:02:00.000+03:002011-09-28T00:02:34.491+03:00<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Thief: The Dark Project</b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAj9ZMHIDsRXZvT1IOWuz89iy24StiEdy0c4o1QwETkuPWWrkUDEMQ955Hn9rw4tT1Sjx7q4TTs94pB6LolZ5xGCMsj81SXXmVS2M3KSoc0oi-X341Fiiy3Y5TSVkK2IdN-o2yV1NuwRs/s1600/thiefthedarkproject_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAj9ZMHIDsRXZvT1IOWuz89iy24StiEdy0c4o1QwETkuPWWrkUDEMQ955Hn9rw4tT1Sjx7q4TTs94pB6LolZ5xGCMsj81SXXmVS2M3KSoc0oi-X341Fiiy3Y5TSVkK2IdN-o2yV1NuwRs/s1600/thiefthedarkproject_cover.jpg" /></a></div>PC<br />
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<blockquote><i>Sneak... Stalk... Steal... Survive! Sneak through the shadows of 12 treacherous missions including haunted cathedrals, subterranean ruins, and forbidding prisons, in a dark and sinister city. Stalk your prey on the quest for stolen goods with your blackjack, sword and an assortment of unique arrows. Steal for money and uncover the hidden agendas of your allies and enemies as you play through an unravelling story of deception and revenge. Survive in a world where shadows are your only ally, trust is not an option, and confrontation results in death!</i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL7382B9D215769C16&hl=en_GB" width="640"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Recorded with Fraps</span></blockquote><br />
Classic game. Recording this walkthrough made me appreciate and love Thief: The Dark Project even more than before, but it's still inferior to the second one, the Metal Age.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-54468144232669821022011-09-27T23:50:00.000+03:002011-09-27T23:50:18.433+03:00<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Hitman: Blood Money</b></span><br />
PlayStation 2<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0FQbYW0G1fhrUOTIits_4meDWviy70TUoTlh91f3SqMb_55eeXaPw5RKCnvnMsPBuomvvKbhzHvJUk5ilRg11NvRBIlLnUVJr5iU-LmZ5l1waqEtD-l-eyr5eNQU4xqcNqxhLzaSrcc/s1600/hitmanbloodmoney_ps2_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0FQbYW0G1fhrUOTIits_4meDWviy70TUoTlh91f3SqMb_55eeXaPw5RKCnvnMsPBuomvvKbhzHvJUk5ilRg11NvRBIlLnUVJr5iU-LmZ5l1waqEtD-l-eyr5eNQU4xqcNqxhLzaSrcc/s320/hitmanbloodmoney_ps2_cover.jpg" width="120" /></a><br />
<blockquote><i>Hitman's back, drawing you closer than ever into his deadly world where staying anonymous, being smart and totally ruthless are the key to a perfect execution. Lucrative contracts on the rich and powerful in high profile locations make killing for money good business. But when a rival agency enters the scene it's war and only the best man will be left standing.</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL8E437F835780498F&hl=en_GB" width="640"></iframe></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Recorded with Pinnacle Dazzle Video Creator Platinum</span></blockquote>I looove this game. Love it so much I bought it twice.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-87690260114234443072011-09-27T23:10:00.000+03:002011-09-27T23:10:50.618+03:00<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Hitman: Contracts</span></b><br />
PC<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRX-ErLzE4sxz3QtTR1LIbAHruBkIs99eJdzQgMJz42mqwUpQGyz7Vmh8QyOIh0BnzdN9MLLhcGxYy_aKia6_tSI40AF_VYv_tl358HVqAXrYyYPkjPiQHo4i3zt4x3c-CHukBHTaG-P4/s1600/hitmancollection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRX-ErLzE4sxz3QtTR1LIbAHruBkIs99eJdzQgMJz42mqwUpQGyz7Vmh8QyOIh0BnzdN9MLLhcGxYy_aKia6_tSI40AF_VYv_tl358HVqAXrYyYPkjPiQHo4i3zt4x3c-CHukBHTaG-P4/s1600/hitmancollection.jpg" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8TONI4yYpgxn1B2Ty6zhAmbFWSCgKJtaOZcRmpH7IVJWVT1Sli1PgBbQ9FTvWAsfmS5zK8DThEAEE7YVwvDhO3rGen6dGjg_RJqkUf8BbG398lw3qkR9soa3wczTFjOFmuoNkNPEGAHA/s1600/hitmancontractscover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8TONI4yYpgxn1B2Ty6zhAmbFWSCgKJtaOZcRmpH7IVJWVT1Sli1PgBbQ9FTvWAsfmS5zK8DThEAEE7YVwvDhO3rGen6dGjg_RJqkUf8BbG398lw3qkR9soa3wczTFjOFmuoNkNPEGAHA/s1600/hitmancontractscover.jpg" /></a><br />
<blockquote><i>When you kill for money, there are no rules.</i><br />
<i>Hitman: Contracts takes you deep into the mind of Agent 47. Enter a world of crime, sin and greed. Encounter his greatest adversaries, completing the work that made him so ruthlessly efficient and deadly precise, the ones that shaped him as an assassin. Understand, nothing counts except the target. Anyone can kill, but can they make the perfect hit? Take on the role of 47 and do what you must to get the job done, because in a professional Hitman's hands everything becomes a weapon.</i><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL0DD500B8C6BCDAA6&hl=en_GB" width="640"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Recorded with Fraps</span></div></blockquote><br />
I love this game. I didn't like Hitman 2: Silent Assassin at all and expected Contracts to be crap as well, but I was positively surprised at how the developers managed to take all the gameplay elements that Silent Assassin introduced to the series and make them actually work.<br />
Read about my first ever playthrough of Hitman: Contracts <a href="http://johnnydfox.blogspot.com/p/best-of-blog_24.html">HERE!</a>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-54600305371587807622011-09-17T18:44:00.002+03:002011-09-17T18:52:47.828+03:00Johnny Fox's Top Ten "Most Wanted" Games<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Simple top ten lists made by all kinds of people about all types of things can be often seen all over the Internet, because making them is as easy as counting to ten and a lot of people over the age of six can do that. That's why I'll be doing one here and now, as I'm chronically lazy yet I still wish to keep updating my blog somewhat actively.<br />
Still, there are some positive sides to a top ten list as well. When done with thought it can be ten little capsules of information in one big spoonful that helps explain something about a larger context, like a person's fascinations. Why not try and clarify my eccentric taste some with top ten lists, as I am the guy this blog is about and I do like talking about myself. And at least I'm not a preteen doing a 30 second video for YouTube about "the best horror films of all time" where the top spots are held by the Hostel, SAW and Scream films. Seriously kids, you suck! Stop sucking!<br />
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This particular list is about my "most wanted" videos games. It's perhaps even more pointless than simple "favourite" lists but may need a little bit more explaining. See, I'm not talking about games I'm looking forward to or hope are going to be made or games I can't afford to buy right now, I mean games that have been already released long ago that I just have serious trouble finding here and now. Games that I would most likely choose over a better game at a store even if the price was a little bit more than what I tend to pay for used games. Games that I may know nothing about, but desperately seek out so I can place them on my shelf and finish a "quest". It's one of the great joys of video gaming, searching for games to buy. It's why you call yourself a "collector" and not just a gamer.<br />
I got the idea for this list when I realized that just recently two spots from this list were vacated when I bought some games I have been looking for for ages: BMX XXX and Giants: Citizen Kabuto. So, the point of this list is that I have some strange obsession over certain titles I sometimes know very little about, and I really can't say if many of these games are actually any good.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIK_xp8HzxZn0rcMAoZfaCyds2PPDzm_ts6MOsnlOYDdR1HAhBblNviRzSRjFXlsSPEAPRRP3hz8QvTsQG5mcJ2SW1i6TX-28I38PXp4pPWrXOKRvRcZPy2SDw4bbEqmylJFTp2vSPvk/s1600/urbanchaoscover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmIK_xp8HzxZn0rcMAoZfaCyds2PPDzm_ts6MOsnlOYDdR1HAhBblNviRzSRjFXlsSPEAPRRP3hz8QvTsQG5mcJ2SW1i6TX-28I38PXp4pPWrXOKRvRcZPy2SDw4bbEqmylJFTp2vSPvk/s1600/urbanchaoscover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. Urban Chaos</b></span>, for the PC.<br />
I think I found out about this game when it was a recommendation next to some shitty beat 'em game I was looking up on GameSpot, and it has been sitting at the top of my list ever since. I hear it's a beat'em up action adventure game with varying indepth sidemissions. And no, it has nothing to do with Urban Chaos: Riot Response, that one that's SWAT 4's inbred cousin.<br />
I want the PC version specifically because I hear the console versions of this game suck tremendously.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsP7bKCsons9-TBrCDJ2-OKr9UqnTC9wo81LSFWbadsuxZllDWLkC6VgtNOYD0YW4BpwJFtWDYksFMgNTgC_Fq3jmbAMTrd8-KtxQCTvzmvELVqnzMwhSPDZOhXY8IEfgeTgfMHp_n2xw/s1600/deathtospiesmomentoftruthcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsP7bKCsons9-TBrCDJ2-OKr9UqnTC9wo81LSFWbadsuxZllDWLkC6VgtNOYD0YW4BpwJFtWDYksFMgNTgC_Fq3jmbAMTrd8-KtxQCTvzmvELVqnzMwhSPDZOhXY8IEfgeTgfMHp_n2xw/s1600/deathtospiesmomentoftruthcover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. Death to Spies: Moment of Truth</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC</span></span><br />
I first heard about Death to Spies the same day I bought it. It's a Hitman-esque stealth-infiltration game where you play as a SMERSH operative in the second World War wearing disguises, strangling people in silence and spending hours upon hours replaying one single fucking mission because there's just too many regular sentries everywhere that prevent you from apprehending those damn snipers undetected. Well, Moment of Truth is the sequel to Death to Spies, and seeing how much I enjoyed the first one despite never finishing the stupid 8th level with even a hint of professionalism, and seeing how Hitman is one of my favourite series of games ever even if Death to Spies can't even compare to it, I really want this game. Want it bad.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJzM0wI8sGlJ10YVqmRTtUsXu5D4um3eM9OjV1ceONbv6aj1ZZCP4jU76CCHVBrkfgxCmLjhcGo0JIBNQ_7MCXVpaAyt8QcYcrR5UWyoVM60vz0gIVXbcC796PUCbWCbYX4qOOkXbVbTU/s1600/maximovsarmyofzincover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJzM0wI8sGlJ10YVqmRTtUsXu5D4um3eM9OjV1ceONbv6aj1ZZCP4jU76CCHVBrkfgxCmLjhcGo0JIBNQ_7MCXVpaAyt8QcYcrR5UWyoVM60vz0gIVXbcC796PUCbWCbYX4qOOkXbVbTU/s1600/maximovsarmyofzincover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. Maximo vs Army of Zin</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PS2</span></span><br />
I had and still have the demo of Maximo vs Army of Zin on one of those PS2 demo discs that you most often got with larger gaming magazines and which I actually uploaded videos of on YouTube that one time years back, and the demo is what got me excited. Too bad I never found the damn game anywhere despite looking for it around when it was released.<br />
All I know about Maximo vs Army of Zin is that it's a cartoony medieval action-adventure game starring the main character from Ghosts 'n Goblins, heart boxers and all, and that the demo rocks. I also know that there exists another, earlier 3rd-person Maximo game called <i>"From Ghosts to Glory"</i>, and I suppose I want it as well even though it's title hasn't been burned into my brain that bad yet.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCA0qy8-Oq2SG382ASgDGcwEJUWfBHQktMHpr2SzjzLa0lzDt860wRFCj4eFwkDAFM34yBP3R41Nk11iPGI9w9iK8fbNzxhZvu-rUDAJpBygtMoH-2Mx4mB5wpeU3zjfjFoEifgDm4cLc/s1600/desperadoswanteddeadoralivecover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCA0qy8-Oq2SG382ASgDGcwEJUWfBHQktMHpr2SzjzLa0lzDt860wRFCj4eFwkDAFM34yBP3R41Nk11iPGI9w9iK8fbNzxhZvu-rUDAJpBygtMoH-2Mx4mB5wpeU3zjfjFoEifgDm4cLc/s1600/desperadoswanteddeadoralivecover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. Desperados: Wanted Dead or Alive</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC</span></span><br />
I got the demo disc for Desperados:WDoA from a Kellogg's cornflakes package a long time ago, and after I finally got a PC that met the system requirements a few years later I got hooked. I borrowed the full game from a friend once and even started recording a video walkthrough, but sadly Giovanni Vindigni, the guy who did the music for the game claimed copryight infringement and almost took my damn YouTube channel down. No, seriously, I know the differences between a regular notice, a video take-down notice and a <i>"Your account is just about fucked"</i> notice, believe you me.<br />
Inspite of the game being really crappy, simple Commandos-type of isometric point-and-click strategy game taking place in the old west with laughable but supposedly serious voice acting, without any of the great features that I know at least make Commandos 2 so great, I still like it a lot and really want it sitting right smacking next to the even shittier sequel, <i>Desperados 2: Cooper's Revenge</i> that I bought in a fit of madness. Don't know much about the 3rd game in the series called <i>Helldorado</i>, other than that it allows you to cause an accident by sending a wagon into a watertower at some point, and I have little interest in it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMY9Oi0MpVkrDptSV0B6ZazzEAgdtP1gVEZoQCmiLM03pIfXjMF4hOjlFFOnavRxnadUbTTkAarV9oLo-NBcn82hAFqdu4wj5UBd7cZQOm0evbJ7CrsqYZchKrguT0J4q2krunSztsxs/s1600/judgedredddreddvsdeathcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMY9Oi0MpVkrDptSV0B6ZazzEAgdtP1gVEZoQCmiLM03pIfXjMF4hOjlFFOnavRxnadUbTTkAarV9oLo-NBcn82hAFqdu4wj5UBd7cZQOm0evbJ7CrsqYZchKrguT0J4q2krunSztsxs/s1600/judgedredddreddvsdeathcover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>5. Judge Dredd: Dredd vs. Death</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC or PS2</span></span><br />
I was a pretty big fan of Judge Dredd comics back when I was a kid. I accidentally stumbled across the adult comics section of our local library one day and after finding that the stuff with sex and violence was better than most of the cookie mysteries found in the kids' section I started visiting the library regularly for the Judge Dredd comics, and occasionally a few other comics I was WAY too young to borrow but did anyway. I've even thought about buying Judge Dredd comics to fill my own shelves with several times but damn they're expensive, even in second-hand bookstores. I also liked the Judge Dredd movie when I was a kid and I still have it on VHS, but not even my childlike mind back then could believe it to be true to the source material. I just liked it as a funny Stallone film.<br />
The reason I'm not talking about the game yet is that I know very little about it other than what the demo showed me, which was Judge Dredd shooting and arresting a few street thugs with incredibly iffy controls. But I want Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death for PC or PS2 regardless. I have actually once heard a guy say that the game is awesome, but that was the one and only person I've ever heard of that actually played this game, so the credibility of that statement is suspect.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWyjMIZpU0-G39Yt2ieXs2c6srfo8o42dsXte-oE45AdcaKlKpIAmwPYUeHQkqdaovWISeZqhBED0JDPLY-MniNWUK3cRxxDnmKpVt4wwt573n15JGU7h2ss3AVpLF2xzfI-QpRY53GEU/s1600/stubbsthezombiecover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWyjMIZpU0-G39Yt2ieXs2c6srfo8o42dsXte-oE45AdcaKlKpIAmwPYUeHQkqdaovWISeZqhBED0JDPLY-MniNWUK3cRxxDnmKpVt4wwt573n15JGU7h2ss3AVpLF2xzfI-QpRY53GEU/s1600/stubbsthezombiecover.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>6. Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse</b></span>, for the PC<br />
It's a 3rd person action adventure comedy game about a guy who died in the nineteenthirties and rises up as a zombie in I what I recall is sort of a <i>futuristic fifties</i>, and during his quest to cause massive chaos in the new modern city built over his resting place and turning the people there into zombies as a revenge for his death he also finds his old love and a long lost son.<br />
I've seen the game played through twice, and I want it. For the PC, since I don't have an Xbox.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJRTYJoR5OLOgitlL6U2llLMMtkwGRNlOd46ooWUSEMDYzo7x_q8DwnlfbDF1bZZf7Blvp5damjovWpNXU4kksZs51dUJNabtKJ2_eji6LKVQw06ITFfOQaBMzulmRIO1k-PU9Qw5x3Z8/s1600/jawsunleashedcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJRTYJoR5OLOgitlL6U2llLMMtkwGRNlOd46ooWUSEMDYzo7x_q8DwnlfbDF1bZZf7Blvp5damjovWpNXU4kksZs51dUJNabtKJ2_eji6LKVQw06ITFfOQaBMzulmRIO1k-PU9Qw5x3Z8/s1600/jawsunleashedcover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>7. Jaws Unleashed</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PS2</span></span><br />
It's... uh... a game about a big killer shark terrorizing an island resort that was shaping up to be such a poor product that the creators decided to get the Jaws license to save what little there was to be milked out of the project. And I happen to be missing a game where you play as a killer shark from my shelf.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuCpG_hiNZLmbEdbNSBpZ4uQmuPdTNAr-uWna1T2bk_4QTfb5ZJpeIlY1anT2utjWGEikd8Rjkxpl6iJa1iSA9Z-Pl8hIjsquzED0leQ8OIS7i52oOou0ki42_NzzjrU1of5sra4GTS0/s1600/messiahcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuCpG_hiNZLmbEdbNSBpZ4uQmuPdTNAr-uWna1T2bk_4QTfb5ZJpeIlY1anT2utjWGEikd8Rjkxpl6iJa1iSA9Z-Pl8hIjsquzED0leQ8OIS7i52oOou0ki42_NzzjrU1of5sra4GTS0/s1600/messiahcover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>8. Messiah</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC</span></span><br />
Messiah tells the at least partly comedic tale of a little cherub sent to the futuristic cyberpunk Earth by God to clean up sin and corruption, and it was developed by Shiny. Why wouldn't I want this game?<br />
I still remember the first time I heard about Messiah. There was this television channel called MoonTV back then that had a lot of music and video game related shows, and sometimes they even showed things as simple as 15 minutes of unedited gameplay without adding any sort of commentary, and that's where I saw Messiah being played. And that's when I decided I'd want the game.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMUOT9nT8m-CufXcn3ctWMtav2xlxHUobiZAKYf7VJMNEIM52XujD6UAsK4k8TkdeFBkcKDW_n98mDGLxI9ZFujGexwzJqtN7Ga_21h5bWN6taiejq6VS-856I21xR71IOfQF21FVVECo/s1600/mdkcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMUOT9nT8m-CufXcn3ctWMtav2xlxHUobiZAKYf7VJMNEIM52XujD6UAsK4k8TkdeFBkcKDW_n98mDGLxI9ZFujGexwzJqtN7Ga_21h5bWN6taiejq6VS-856I21xR71IOfQF21FVVECo/s1600/mdkcover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>9. MDK</b><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC</span></span><br />
Another comedic 3rd-person shooter Shiny title I think I saw being reviewed on MoonTV when I was a kid. You know it, I want it.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwdHeTKut8Q1jGb_oWLLsKltRNWgjlNeHCVof7WqL8TUHeHyRnvFLVkHWIOnrDYF4sQkZOMQjufw2bVqTqJe5BXmZP92hD_kxekW1iKVq9sV0HOct2rQ7Apy8RRuQ9tkFq2m3PzJ2YtE/s1600/dungeonkeeper2cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwdHeTKut8Q1jGb_oWLLsKltRNWgjlNeHCVof7WqL8TUHeHyRnvFLVkHWIOnrDYF4sQkZOMQjufw2bVqTqJe5BXmZP92hD_kxekW1iKVq9sV0HOct2rQ7Apy8RRuQ9tkFq2m3PzJ2YtE/s1600/dungeonkeeper2cover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>10. Dungeon Keeper 2</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">, for the PC</span></span><br />
Got a German ISO file of Dungeon Keeper 2 once just out of interest, and got hooked. I didn't understand a single word, it was prone to crash and the file was missing some textures apparently, but I liked the gameplay so much I still tried to play it. I did try the first game out as well, but it's not the one I fell in love with.<br />
Sadly, though, DK2 is also the one game I have little chance to play again, for with a copy of Dungeon Keeper 2 I would also need a PC with a version of Windows that could play it. Oh, and I really want an actual existing physical copy, not a GOG download. Downloading isn't collecting.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Aaand that's about it. It's why this list sucks, I can't say much about many of these games for certain and so I can't say much at all. But hey, at least I have a new update on the blog. It's not like it matters what it is, nobody reads my posts anyway. <br />
There are several other games I really want to get as well or I'm at least interested to learn more about, but these are what after some serious thinking seem to be my absolute most wanted.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cover images from <a href="http://www.mobygames.com/">MobyGames.com</a></span></div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-80575212780158689082011-09-09T18:28:00.000+03:002011-09-09T18:28:01.264+03:00BMX XXX<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitpNYYvNISZ4jltZLGjhzyT0cJHRoEn7sOKg4DGXujjBTDUgQ0OzSPl9guTkUkg-UzzXQ1k29BJkfT6cesl1592vsXid5lvOhNDiXId72N5hO_6cWqlmQKbanzpUVaAD29xdAD-Bv3_Yw/s1600/bmxxxx_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitpNYYvNISZ4jltZLGjhzyT0cJHRoEn7sOKg4DGXujjBTDUgQ0OzSPl9guTkUkg-UzzXQ1k29BJkfT6cesl1592vsXid5lvOhNDiXId72N5hO_6cWqlmQKbanzpUVaAD29xdAD-Bv3_Yw/s1600/bmxxxx_cover.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I just recently went out to buy games again and came back home with 8 new titles with an average price of 3,45€ per game, and one of these games I picked up was the infamous sleaze-fest BMX XXX that threatened the public safety with nipples and sexual references in the early naughts. Those of you who are younger than me and missed the brief debacle this game caused back in the day, let me take the time to tell you what it's history was and how the game was received in around 2002-2003 when the game came out, or what little I know and remember at least. Don't ever fully believe anything I make out to be factual.<br />
BMX XXX was the third bmx game from the developer Z-Axis and publisher Acclaim <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Dave Mirra BMX "3" was released some days later)</span>, and was to be another Dave Mirra endorsed title. However, during some point in the game's development the developers decided, for some unconfirmed reason, to turn the previously innocent little trick-biking game into a heavily adult-oriented celebration of profanity with unlockable real-life striptease videos, teats and all, as a means of reward for completing certain challenges. As you might have guessed, the game was not a welcome addition to store shelves once it became public what a Satan's perversion of all that is good it really is. Dave Mirra himself, whoever the hell he is, demanded to get his name off the project once he heard about the game's new content and tone and then sued Acclaim when according to Dave they continued to use his likeness and name to promote the game anyway. Sony demanded the game to be censored in North America before they would let it be released on PlayStation 2, while oddly the Gamecube and Xbox versions stayed as they were, or that is what I have been told. Despite the censorship that ensued certain US retailers, the nation's foremost morality-police that would never deal in anything that a person could use to harm themselves or others physically or mentally, still refused to stock BMX XXX.</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1h8H1wXDXVTLmWPtwHwCJ7yed7C0B5BpjEbJdKo3XF_mheag_RfcZMOOwRLerS4cnrowG1I-wGIuegt015v5DlT6hoi-mRkOCTmKge_pQFRUcXEqbAnngJEVMYpDnq8hw4JB_OVUbvFU/s1600/bmxxxx_12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1h8H1wXDXVTLmWPtwHwCJ7yed7C0B5BpjEbJdKo3XF_mheag_RfcZMOOwRLerS4cnrowG1I-wGIuegt015v5DlT6hoi-mRkOCTmKge_pQFRUcXEqbAnngJEVMYpDnq8hw4JB_OVUbvFU/s200/bmxxxx_12.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Real* live breasts, with nipples on top.<br />
Yeah, not taking any chances with the blog.<br />
<br />
* Real as in fake ones that physically exist</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">I never were into knowing anything more about video games than what the random titles on my shelf were until 2005 when I created my GameSpot account, and back when BMX XXX came out I had only just bought a PlayStation One, didn't have Internet and were not a subscriber of any gaming magazine, but the outcry caused by the game's immoral offerings was so loud that the sound of it managed to reach my eardrums. I still remember one Saturday morning when I caught a review for the game on a Finnish video game show, and got more and more excited the more the reviewer bashed the game. As a male going through puberty around that time and already developing an uncanny taste for video games I of course wanted to someday own this sexually charged shitty titty game no young one should ever lay eyes upon, and the title was forever archived somewhere in the dark fungal growth of the back of my brain. Years it sat on my own personal <i>"most wanted games"</i> list and now, here in 2011, the start of the the decade that I predict sees a much needed change in the non-gaming mass' opinion on video games and how they should be rated, I actually own it. I have personally experienced what some silly people have called the worst game ever, or at least most atrocious and depraved title to be released on consoles, and I can truthfully answer the main two questions that many people may have asked regarding BMX XXX: Is the game really <i>that</i> horrible? Is the nudity really so over the top it should've been banned? No, and not really, not in my opinion.<br />
It may very well be that I'm just an adult now and have a healthier outlook on life than the many smallminds back in the day and have learned to finally rate video games using more than two grades. Or maybe I have just played too many horrible games and can't tell what is good and what is bad anymore, and maybe I have been desensitized to sex and violence by games like Conker's Bad Fur Day, Postal 2, Barbie Horse Adventures 2 and Sexy Beach 3. I don't know. All I know is that in my opinion the fuss regarding BMX XXX and it's content was an overreaction, as usual, and people who say the game is the worst ever have probably never played more than five games. The game isn't good by any means, but there's no reason to exaggerate, games shouldn't be rated in the extremes. Except whenever I see it fit to do so.<br />
Oh, right, you're thinking that I can't talk about the nudity because I have the PS2 version, but that's where you'd be wrong: the rumours were all true, the PAL area version is in fact uncensored. It's probably due to the French, their casual use of nudity in films has liberated our continent from sexual repression.<br />
But anyhow, I suppose I should get to describing the actual game sometime soon.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNzc1R_IPBBefho188KAKfvri0Iq7hqQdv6lvViYabLPFACwnYXATmPzxnvh1R1S5N8xbyzak4xooSi19oQZS6i9W9b_WMV1o0-hhEXed2pmUPSUMPozWA0eAjferTctgQR5CUQ45O3zg/s1600/bmxxxx_05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNzc1R_IPBBefho188KAKfvri0Iq7hqQdv6lvViYabLPFACwnYXATmPzxnvh1R1S5N8xbyzak4xooSi19oQZS6i9W9b_WMV1o0-hhEXed2pmUPSUMPozWA0eAjferTctgQR5CUQ45O3zg/s200/bmxxxx_05.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BMX XXX takes a dump on the player.<br />
Yes, it's only pigeon poo,<br />
the game's not THAT depraved.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>BMX XXX has two modes of play: the Hardcore Tour and the multiplayer. The multiplayer offers three different modes playable on five different levels taken from the Hardcore Tour. The modes are called Skillz, Paintball and Strip Challenge.<br />
Skillz is your usual who-gets-the-most-points-in-two-minutes mode, and I see no reason to explain it further. Paintball is a little bit more interesting in that in it one player has 90 seconds to collect as many boomboxes scattered around the level as he possibly can while the second player uses various different types of "paintball" guns to try and ki--... erm, <i>non-lethally</i> drop the other one, and after either the active rider has lost all his health or the time is up the players switch roles. There's a good assortment of different types of guns like the pistol, sniper rifle, machine gun, rocket launcher and grenade, and while the game calls them painball guns, I would seriously contest that. There's no paintball in sight, the sounds are straight from a (cheap) shooter game, and although the game lacks blood when the player falls down I wouldn't have been surprised to see some. Considering that the game's biggest problem is the lack of effort, seeing a neat and usual idea like this for a multiplayer mode is surprising. In the less inventive Strip Challenge mode both players try to get high combos with a clothing article removed from the opposing player's rider everytime a new record for highest combo is set. It's a rather dull and short mode, because a couple of combos are ridiculously easy to do and the round ends after one player has set the record four times.</div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9fqV1acmbBUPBAcxY5ZzKZPFcfQpDpPA0jtRqifmoycTZfc95kbnAOvo9Kjhk1mYkd4IXByFAIzf6_Rpfs8lI37-l8Hg0DB-cikEcTO_PY4huCYW7YPuq69BN3uDCWb8rR0kRnfO55sg/s1600/bmxxxx_06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9fqV1acmbBUPBAcxY5ZzKZPFcfQpDpPA0jtRqifmoycTZfc95kbnAOvo9Kjhk1mYkd4IXByFAIzf6_Rpfs8lI37-l8Hg0DB-cikEcTO_PY4huCYW7YPuq69BN3uDCWb8rR0kRnfO55sg/s200/bmxxxx_06.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BMX XXX:<br />
Literal pile of shit</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;">The Hardcore Tour, the game's singleplayer mode is divided into 9 levels, or at least that's what the back cover says even though I count eight levels. Two of these levels are so-called competition levels where in order to continue you must get to the top three list by doing certain amounts of all types of tricks and getting a high score within a two minute time limit, twice. The rest of the levels are called challenge levels where you have 20 different challenges spread across the playing area that you can do rather freely, with ten challenges needed in order to unlock the next level. I actually personally find it a little annoying that competition levels exist and are placed between challenge levels, as competition levels are more boring. The playing areas seem like excerpts from the challenge levels with a duller backdrop and a couple more halfpipes, and the fact that you can only play in these levels with the two minute time limit takes away any fun of freedom. I also found it little bit confusing on what I was meant to do in order to get higher score from the judges, as in order to get better scores you need to pull off all types of tricks several times each as well as get a large amount of points. Just getting the points and doing one or two of each type of trick isn't enough.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPja6ODfgQubsdFGX90UtrMqnIX0g-oMK28vxbYeXdyk7tTU-N6DEAKuB4yTyMVyHHHc2rxEL0fFtComSj8XzNIDavkW_nP-SLLR1IKtUjSOgs5PW7i6lKkq6uwZEItgS1U6O0rN7kpI0/s1600/bmxxxx_07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPja6ODfgQubsdFGX90UtrMqnIX0g-oMK28vxbYeXdyk7tTU-N6DEAKuB4yTyMVyHHHc2rxEL0fFtComSj8XzNIDavkW_nP-SLLR1IKtUjSOgs5PW7i6lKkq6uwZEItgS1U6O0rN7kpI0/s200/bmxxxx_07.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pointless violence can be funny...<br />
<br />
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY0-Hyn6t_PwJ_BEE3EF0gE8ZW1_RGpVV8k_qd7QBuSq8z4YW0gO4Z0zWBufdmU3HGhIzrpZvnt5xFDDtza7YwEkbkNvPbBExrcCHARfDNyFtMXsBzH4QoMlxAmvYUMFrlPfAUvgVlQjo/s1600/bmxxxx_08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY0-Hyn6t_PwJ_BEE3EF0gE8ZW1_RGpVV8k_qd7QBuSq8z4YW0gO4Z0zWBufdmU3HGhIzrpZvnt5xFDDtza7YwEkbkNvPbBExrcCHARfDNyFtMXsBzH4QoMlxAmvYUMFrlPfAUvgVlQjo/s200/bmxxxx_08.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... but you need lots more for it to work</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The problem I have with the challenge levels, however, comes from the serious lack of payoff for what you're doing. I have to say that for the most part the only thing that kept me going was the prospect of seeing what stupid shit the game will throw at me next in the form of not-so-funny jokes and cutscenes depicting wanton mayhem, but sadly, out of 20 challenges a level only a few of them actually have any "point" or variety to them. Several of the challenges are the exact same ones in all of the levels; collect 45 tokens, find all gaps, deliver 5 people to a certain place, get a high score, get an even higher score, get the highest score, get a high combo. Then there tends to be a couple more challenges where all you need to do is complete a certain gap or two (which you'd finish while going for all gaps anyway) or do a "long" grind, wallride or a manual, sometimes in a specific place. Then there's the four or maybe a whopping five challenges where the task is given to you by a "comedic character" and completing it rewards you with the level getting opened up a bit in a challenge ending cutscene. The game really suffers from this, because not only are there so few "humorous" challenges that could keep your interest in playing, as you might have already guessed the content of the cutscenes is also not the most entertaining. I like to think I have a well developed sense of humour and I can appreciate the kind of crazy, sleazy, immature, even dark type of comedy where people cause large accidents with puke, tits are the focus on many occasions, cardboard planes can fly and a guy is decapitated for no particular reason, but BMX XXX's humour falls short of the point where I'd find it amusing so often that I honestly couldn't crack a smile at any point in the game. A larger quantity of these bad jokes would've actually helped to press on, as seeing so bad it's almost funny humour is better than nothing during a several hour playthrough. Must admit that it's not the worst stuff I've seen, though. Considering how bad a bad comedy game can possibly get, BMX XXX actually has surprisingly decent ideas for jokes and a lot of the humour could be saved with some very simple fixes to how the jokes are presented. Living in a world where a frighteningly large amount of people actually find things like Disaster Movie or Epic Movie funny, I have no reason to believe that the in comparison superior brand of comedy of BMX XXX couldn't have it's fanbase as well. That's IF those potential fans were old enough to play this Mature-rated game. That's another mistake the ratings boards made, because this game is more immature than anything. If it wasn't for some bad language, a decapitation scene and eight nipples (six real ones) I would give the game a rating of T personally.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhepoTu1NStjm4WzGB6aZzmdhCE6aHEX98skmVdMKMWdcdxvi1DrzaWQdmQSiDFt529HmP_-genzVXG8Jv-NeEpHs28Ryh9iw7PE53S8TbtQRX50YhoJXZjQywPX3PSo6oy9xI9dIBHdk4/s1600/bmxxxx_11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhepoTu1NStjm4WzGB6aZzmdhCE6aHEX98skmVdMKMWdcdxvi1DrzaWQdmQSiDFt529HmP_-genzVXG8Jv-NeEpHs28Ryh9iw7PE53S8TbtQRX50YhoJXZjQywPX3PSo6oy9xI9dIBHdk4/s320/bmxxxx_11.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even redneck Johnny and his mullet can do tricks in BMX XXX</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I mentioned earlier how to me the only thing worth playing for were the brief custcenes, and one could say that's where my problem lies as alternative sports games like this are meant to be played for the fun of riding around doing tricks, not story. While I admit that I'm personally not big on just messing about and going for the points in games most of the time, BMX XXX shares at least some of the blame. The game isn't really challenging in the least and although the mechanics behind the performing of tricks are very good and the control scheme works, the ease at which you do everything just helps to devalue the act of pulling of the big stunts. My only problem throughout the game was that my game didn't come with the manual, maybe it had raunchy enough imagery to be good spank material for the previous owner or something, and so it took me a while to figure the individual tricks and which buttons activate them, and still, once I realised what the modifier button was for I started doing 540 Nothings out the ass during huge transfers. Even if you messed up a trick and are about to land sideways, the game is so lenient as to let you latch on to nearest grindable object with the press of a button everytime, even if you're not even close to it. It's like Sly Cooper physics and takes very little actual skill. When the most hardcore tricks can be performed by anyone with two thumbs, it doesn't take long for an averige player to wish for some point to it, and because tricks are so easy to pull of completing any challenges that require performing tricks feels redundant when they can be completed within literally seconds.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">The only difficulty the game presents is for all the wrong reasons. While performing the tricks is easy, the general steering of the bike is much more iffy. The bike blasts off like a rocket from a complete stop, doesn't halt very easily, turns mostly in 50 degree increments and hitting a wall bumps the bike to a new direction without slowing down the speed. Furthermore, the biggest challenge of many of the, well, challenges is in spotting the collectable objects or even the challenge givers themselves in the level as they have oddly short draw distances sometimes, and when you mix the speed at which your bike tends to go with the need for calm movements to scan the area even the simplest objectives can become brief exercises in frustration despite the small level sizes. Then again, once you do find what you're looking for, the challenges become so easy again that you wonder why they exist.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOgHu6KS3Rl0P8AS6kZ6kBCrIrpIr-bMXGDuDsYca9HFoaDO25Lvk3P3GPDBaWHlO2aGa_u5YG2-0FyAIRCz94s5UjmytK-KaFOkLHCs8uXYZH2-IEIjMvpes_Osu4JVyVUcd0a_9BcE/s1600/bmxxxx_10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOgHu6KS3Rl0P8AS6kZ6kBCrIrpIr-bMXGDuDsYca9HFoaDO25Lvk3P3GPDBaWHlO2aGa_u5YG2-0FyAIRCz94s5UjmytK-KaFOkLHCs8uXYZH2-IEIjMvpes_Osu4JVyVUcd0a_9BcE/s200/bmxxxx_10.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rarely gets more adult than <br />
tits during the actual gameplay</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The skitching in this game is pointless. There is supposedly a mechanic available that allows the player to hang on to cars and get more speed, but this is the most useless feature ever. Only time you EVER use it is for the challenge in the first level where you need to skitch a police car for a short while, and after that it becomes impossible to do on levels where some extra speed would help with certain objectives. Not that it would increase your speed any even that one time you can do it.<br />
There also some bugs and problems with the game. Certain few ramps and halfpipes seems to be broken enough to often make you fall on your ass immediately upon riding on them, and an especially big nuisance on competition levels is a weird glitch where the rider is stuck in first-person view and will no move no matter what you do, until after about 20 seconds of mashing buttons.<br />
Still, no game seems to be completely without their problems and despite BMX XXX's flaws the gameplay is still adequate and while casual gamers may find the fun shortlived I can assure you that a huge fan of games like these, like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Matt Hoffman's whatevers, should be able to get some kicks off of it. It's not complete shit, at least compared to it's peers. In my opinion the best gameplay in any alternative sports title is found in EA's Skate, where doing the smallest tricks feels more rewarding than any built in challenges, messing around is worth your while and exploring the town for neat spots to trick is something you do on your own. Buy your copy of Skate, today!</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW0XbgwZbwJ7QyoibA2KPcf9_S7-fgFt30kAJ7GM0nKoGQk_pExDdpRkPe0Sbz_IgvnAhkvtx-9PDqcr47P9PlmEcKBH87pn3vYJSZwgYUiY1hdCA2z2mtv-zFvdZt7ArB-KU4ZTSUj1k/s1600/bmxxxx_03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW0XbgwZbwJ7QyoibA2KPcf9_S7-fgFt30kAJ7GM0nKoGQk_pExDdpRkPe0Sbz_IgvnAhkvtx-9PDqcr47P9PlmEcKBH87pn3vYJSZwgYUiY1hdCA2z2mtv-zFvdZt7ArB-KU4ZTSUj1k/s200/bmxxxx_03.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpj8imA-UHzIAd67R2hIYnHplmwFQ3X59iZpU0OH0EKGmPo0TnoPiHipo-ewkhroMIXcMblJnvor8NyxSiC46W_uxunTvymq_3MEpLSpt-bEDyjgu6lZIRfUYsWcuZ5XTC8jCGyxhUwk/s1600/bmxxxx_09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvpj8imA-UHzIAd67R2hIYnHplmwFQ3X59iZpU0OH0EKGmPo0TnoPiHipo-ewkhroMIXcMblJnvor8NyxSiC46W_uxunTvymq_3MEpLSpt-bEDyjgu6lZIRfUYsWcuZ5XTC8jCGyxhUwk/s200/bmxxxx_09.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>The audio of BMX XXX is a bit lackluster in many regards. Most of the voices seem to have been recorded some place other than a recording studio, possibly a seedy downtown alley, as the sound quality is a tad crap. I think two of the speaking characters are voiced by a real living kid and kids are always annoying, and many of the characters sound just like all other similar characters from every single crappy comedy game. The pimp sounds exactly like what you'd imagine if you've ever played a comedy game with pimp character, the hippies sounds exactly like the crappy hippie voices from any other game, the sad guntoting hick of a sheriff with only one bullet sounds like a stereotypical smalltown hick sheriff... you get the point I think. Then again, I think maybe BMX XXX preceded a lot of the games I'm thinking of, so maybe it both gets points for being original firestrater and should be destroyed for it's crime at the same time, because I hate stereotypical shitty voices in my crappy cheap games!</div><div style="text-align: justify;">The sounds during the levels are unimaginative and mostly annoying. The weak sounds the bike itself makes, like the rattle of the chains and the sound of tires hitting the floor are nice, but everything else from pedestrian shouts to the simple boop-you-completed-a-challenge sound get on my tits after a little while. Seriously, the happy sound, the chime that tells you you've done something good should never annoy you and that's what it does to me, maybe partly because it just tells me I really didn't achieve anything by completing a so-called challenge. The pedestrians often each have their own things to say, one or two of them, and they keep repeating their favourite line everytime you ride anywhere near them. The pimp shouts <i>"I'm gonna cut you, bitch"</i> or "<i>What did I just say, bitch"</i> when you go anywhere near, the hookers yell <i>"Wanna ride me like a bike?"</i> and a street vendor keep advertising his <i>"hot salty nutsack"</i> when in shouting distance. It gets preeeetty damn tiring, hearing that same crap over and over and over again. But, I must remind you right about now that no matter how stupid the hot salty nutsack joke is, one year later the popularly believed to be a superior alternative sports title endorsed by a big name sports figure, Tony Hawk's Underground did pilfer that same joke and kept on repeating it about as much as BMX XXX does in the Manhattan level, so it's not like BMX XXX is the only game to have crap jokes. A lot of games, good and bad, are guilty of many of BMX XXX's crimes.<br />
The soundtrack is abysmal, or at least it feels like it. I count 19 songs that you can cycle through in the options menu during the game. Unfortunately I only find three or four of them good enough to listen to and it gets tiresome having to constantly pause the game to skip to De La Soul's The Magic Number or Green Day's Basket Case, and let's just get it out of my system, when one of the best artists on your soundtrack is clearly Green Day, your selection stinks regardless of the fact that Basket Case is their best song.<br />
I know, I know, it's probably a money thing with the artists or rather the thieves that leech off of the artists, but in these kind of games music is crucial to keeping up good mood and the will to play on, and choosing a good soundtrack is important. I don't want to have to shoot myself over what I hear on the forefront while playing.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkXcIOKn9nHXT5SgGdixA6BRkQ6sOxmGBTmcxKrOO2cgX1CL_cIOhqZP7_-JiMuIyFAlw8H2GcZyO5R37Prdka6m_YRKKNNfhiS7eWRplg1H6o-5eJzL_cts41ju6k5J6uEgyBnv_QnLA/s1600/bmxxxx_04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkXcIOKn9nHXT5SgGdixA6BRkQ6sOxmGBTmcxKrOO2cgX1CL_cIOhqZP7_-JiMuIyFAlw8H2GcZyO5R37Prdka6m_YRKKNNfhiS7eWRplg1H6o-5eJzL_cts41ju6k5J6uEgyBnv_QnLA/s200/bmxxxx_04.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The visual gag is funny, the attempt to<br />
drive the joke in through dialogue was not</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I suppose that's about everything one really needs to know and say about BMX XXX, and my final verdict is that the game is a subpar alternative sports title, and that's the keyword. Subpar. The game's biggest problem is lack of effort and general polish that clearly stems from the developers' realisation that they were working on something that was doomed to pass unnoticed by the public and be forgotten within weeks, a game damned to the garage sale hell with all the other sports titles nobody ever wants but somebody's stupid aunt keeps buying for gifts. BMX XXX isn't even close to being one of the worst games ever, just one of the more forgettable and possibly only the worst <b>you</b>'ll ever play. Even from my pitiful 100 game PlayStation 2 collection I can name about 14 games worse than this, and a few more that are on par solely because of a personally interesting or so-bad-it's-funny premise. The reason BMX XXX got and still keeps getting so much shit is for the controversy it got when it was released. People who wouldn't have ever bought or even heard about a third game in the Dave Mirra series ended up focusing their adolescent attention to this new, notorious titty-game for a few minutes and went with the popular opinion, only they were and still are largely commenting on other reviews or gaming forums where there is never even a vaguely grey area, only hate or love or get the fuck outta here.<br />
Well then, was the decision to add raunchy humour and nudity a horribly wrong choice? No, of course not, the game WAS noticed and it WAS bought by people who othwerwise would've never shed a single penny on it. Even without the 30 second striptease videos and constant fuck-all humour the game couldn't have saved Acclaim from their downfall, on the contrary it probably would've been a quicker death. At least there are still insane people like me around who are proud to add BMX XXX to their awful collections because it was so well known for a little while, and the content isn't so bad I would feel like committing a crime placing it on my shelf or playing it. The step over the line the game took was only ever very minor one, even if the striptease videos are rather titillating.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">Yeah, I admit that picking up the game in the store and placing it on the counter took enough guts that I probably would've passed on it if that one good looking female worker had been there to handle the transaction that day, and I admit there was that invisible presence that speaks in silence in my room yelling at me "You're playing that game for the titties! You sad, lonely pervert!" But once I played a few levels that feeling went away. This isn't a game you hide from your mother, this is a game you hide from your grandmother. And video game snobs.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">Now I must go reflect on my life and ask myself why I wrote this much about a game I bought for the sake of novelty.</div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-28751372061418130002011-08-26T17:43:00.001+03:002011-08-26T17:55:14.179+03:00Broken SwordI've promised to write an angry blog post about Hitman: Absolution based on what we know about the game so far based on developer interviews, as I am a big, angry, ranty fan of the Hitman series who has to kill the developers if the next game sucks since all the murder and violence and general immorality in the those games has brainwashed me into becoming a deranged killer. That's all nice and dandy, but the bad part of it is that I've also lost hope in video games and think every game sucks without trying them myself and I can't believe the next Hitman is going to be anywhere near what it should be. I mean, Io-Interactive was also behind Splinter Cell Conviction and that game was shit! I know, I know, Conviction has it's fans as well, but that proves nothing! Even the person popularly thought to be the most evil, Mr. Hitler, STILL has his fans and the bastard's been reportedly dead for nearly 70 years now (although we do now know the Russians lied to us about the skull and the eye witness). What I'm rambling on about is, if you like Splinter Cell Conviction then you're a nazi!<br />
Well, regardless of my profound thoughts I got discouraged from writing that angry post about a month ago for who knows what reason and desperately sought for some other activity to help me escape the apathy when my eyes suddenly gazed upon the complete yet still largely unplayed collection of Broken Sword games sitting on my shelf.<br />
And I installed and played them. All four of them.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWGIi_q5G3k1NQZREdFXjoWt2CRzisOdrgHhe0mj072bahgvNmRpJhi2BpsZbXwqlXxSMixMatySNNpOYqlzUx6VXPYGWkdudHkEJE879Rkl833qBgf_K4x99UqnLllVFgEOo-5y-wi1o/s1600/brokensword1cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWGIi_q5G3k1NQZREdFXjoWt2CRzisOdrgHhe0mj072bahgvNmRpJhi2BpsZbXwqlXxSMixMatySNNpOYqlzUx6VXPYGWkdudHkEJE879Rkl833qBgf_K4x99UqnLllVFgEOo-5y-wi1o/s1600/brokensword1cover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars</b></span>, or <b>Circle of Blood</b> as it's been often called somewhere else, is an adventure game classic. Almost everytime I've read a list of "the best adventure games ever" either this game alone or usually both the first two games back to back have been ranked in the top five and if neither of them have then someone's always crying about it in the comments section. I've read articles specifically written about some Sierra's classic game series with comments comparable in length to the article itself right under it praising the original Broken Sword and how it's better than anything Sierra ever made. That sort of fanaticism is usually annoying to witness, I've even completely lost all respect for Metal Gear Solid fans because of such nutcases, but after having played Broken Sword myself I can completely agree with the older fans, Broken Sword really is one of the best adventures games I've experienced. I'm not an adventure-game buff, though, so that probably weighs nothing.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2F24G3_YtJd9Y_GA7A_l_AgY-WcQEf4KIcORnoI_WAHxqOPNLzxQkKqUcLXixRHIFNwZhvd1kfdWxhDnGE0WD9P8wdr0hyphenhyphenvquAUqCNOr_JrvT8s6UwXEv5cZt8qE-JKxJVKRnDBtq6sw/s1600/BrokenSword1_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2F24G3_YtJd9Y_GA7A_l_AgY-WcQEf4KIcORnoI_WAHxqOPNLzxQkKqUcLXixRHIFNwZhvd1kfdWxhDnGE0WD9P8wdr0hyphenhyphenvquAUqCNOr_JrvT8s6UwXEv5cZt8qE-JKxJVKRnDBtq6sw/s320/BrokenSword1_02.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The story of Broken Sword begins with a patent-lawyer named George Stobbart sitting outside a Parisian café enjoying his vacation when suddenly the café explodes. This starts off the quest for tracking down the clown-suited assassin who blew up the café and eventually stopping a loony cult from gaining mystical powers that they intend to use to take over the world. During his adventure George sees a lot of interesting places, pilfers a lot of interesting items and meets a lot of interesting new people like his to-be-series-long-partner Nico Collard, an interesting couple called Pearl and Duane and that one Nobel prize winner from the country whose name he couldn't pronounce.<br />
The dialogue between George and the various persons he meets is really the biggest and best part of the game. The story, as the game's title might suggest, deals with a lot of Templar history and legends, and to be quite frank I don't really care about such things, but the dialogue and especially George's lines are often absolutely hilarious and Rolf Saxon delivers them with unusual honesty and talent, and the storyline events are so well sequenced that even if I didn't care about the grand scheme of things or the end goal, I ALWAYS wanted to progress just to see what happens next. That's really the best kind of storytelling if you ask me, because when you're pushing through a game just to see the end you won't enjoy the journey as much because your mind is set on something further away, but Broken Sword is structured so that it's throughly enjoyable and memorable because you constantly focus on whatever is happening in it at the moment. The game is very well written.<br />
The dialogue is funny but not kiddy-funny. It's classy and amusing and although it's not ever explicitly adult it does have a mature tone to it. Mature largely in the sense that it doesn't treat you like you were a moron. Subtle jokes that still make you chuckle like Nico wondering how a person, referring to one of the bad guys, can be so evil as to pose as a doctor after George had just recntly disguised himself as one as well, or George mentioning that some idiot left the water running in the basement are delivered like any other line in the game and the dialogue doesn't pause for a second to remind you that you should laugh. That makes the funny even funnier.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpd5LQZLXZSRvd5-8J6G7jUoer0kfvY8q7ypxnjnlRfj8VVRF8nDy-cH1QQdU5iVHXcF5-saDlIZKV_YCL6Yvp10ECavLQMv-sVpksWkp_lmsQYoRR7VNRL7w0D3YITgwO-Gyphw2QjaA/s1600/BrokenSword1_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpd5LQZLXZSRvd5-8J6G7jUoer0kfvY8q7ypxnjnlRfj8VVRF8nDy-cH1QQdU5iVHXcF5-saDlIZKV_YCL6Yvp10ECavLQMv-sVpksWkp_lmsQYoRR7VNRL7w0D3YITgwO-Gyphw2QjaA/s320/BrokenSword1_01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't think I mentioned it in the post, but the game looks awesome</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Of course, even though Broken Sword IS mostly an interactive story, it does still have it's share of puzzles to solve or it wouldn't be called a video game. I know I have a bad habit of bringing up Sierra that I should control more, but unlike their games Broken Sword's puzzles are much more <i>casual</i> and much, much more logical. In Sierra's classic games, when you pick up an item you have no idea where and when to use it because it's almost always something bordering on illogical, like using a moldy cheese to charge up a magic wand, and you often end up just trying everything with everything without even necessarily knowing what you aim to achieve. In Broken Sword, however, once you understand what it is that's preventing you from progressing, which tends to be easy as George helpfully declares to himself the nature of the problem if you inspect items, and then take a look at what items you have and what's on the screen, without Sierra-like wanton trial and error you'll always have at least a hunch of what you should do. Even an idiot like me can hear the whirring of small gears and the clicking of pieces finding their correct places in my brain when playing the game.<br />
Some might think that what I just said means that Broken Sword is too easy because the puzzles don't stump you for hours, but it's not really true. Broken Sword's difficulty is close to perfect for what it is; an interactive story. The puzzles pose just enough challenge that you have fun figuring them out, but never too much to force you out of the narrative. If some section was too difficult, the overall Broken Sword experience would then suffer from the hold up.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQoxkNo7esVi8_4_n5xLOtC9nOxXIMuehZDYIx7DwBUUG52AwW633a2pqhejbQfgxX8zFZsrGw6KqLNH_uh6cweR6AjsXsTxN0FkGqA2EXZf-pDgzk_UlZ7vnNbeTOFwDc0tKQ8ojQR0/s1600/brokensword2cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJQoxkNo7esVi8_4_n5xLOtC9nOxXIMuehZDYIx7DwBUUG52AwW633a2pqhejbQfgxX8zFZsrGw6KqLNH_uh6cweR6AjsXsTxN0FkGqA2EXZf-pDgzk_UlZ7vnNbeTOFwDc0tKQ8ojQR0/s1600/brokensword2cover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror</b></span> will fix whatever problem you had with the lack of difficulty in the first game, IF you had any problem at all. If the first game was perfect, then this game is likely to be tougher. A tad higher difficulty doesn't mean the game's puzzles would be illogical, though, not at all, but there are a lot more puzzles to solve, and a lot more parts to the puzzles with a lot more distractions from the actual puzzles. If you ask me, though, I prefer it like this. Hey, I said the difficulty in the first game was <i>close to</i> perfect, not perfect. The puzzles are still solvable with logic alone, but it takes you a little bit more time to actually distinguish all the useful pieces from the rest of the scenery and the correct order in which you should do what. Getting out of the first screen alone is more complicated than I think anything in the first game was, although not excessively so. Adventure game pros looking for challenges wouldn't get their fix in Smoking Mirror, but MY slow brain steamed at a few points, and I liked the sensation I got once I passed a screen all on my own wit. In the first game, passing a screen rarely made me feel triumphant for finishing the task, only happy that I could see what's up next.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlmMT27PnZ-LaydsBzfCqnxJo7LHKn_KcZH_PVyLCRP_rz52D_H_f7HU6CNcMZeWcYnML5Rkn3ephe9QgnjAbPYcPlnyo8qYxBKSqVop6Xy2F1CUAqJFwvhXFnfEFT60IOlvrezcgv6A/s1600/brokensword2smokingmirror01.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtlmMT27PnZ-LaydsBzfCqnxJo7LHKn_KcZH_PVyLCRP_rz52D_H_f7HU6CNcMZeWcYnML5Rkn3ephe9QgnjAbPYcPlnyo8qYxBKSqVop6Xy2F1CUAqJFwvhXFnfEFT60IOlvrezcgv6A/s320/brokensword2smokingmirror01.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The... uhh, beautiful<span style="font-size: xx-small;">?</span> Nico Collard</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Of course, other smaller things have also changed between the two games. Instead of you being able to travel between locations at largely on your own free will, Smoking Mirror is always in charge of where you are. In a way I like it better this way because I can fully concentrate on the one screen I am in, and try to pass the puzzles knowing there couldn't be anything else I could do somewhere else, but then again you do end up getting the feeling that the game's events, locations and puzzles find YOU, rather than you going out to find THEM. I think that it's important for a great adventure to be grounded and let the player to be the one going forward, instead of the adventure coming towards the player who just solves the problems as they come up.<br />
I also can't help but feel that Smoking Mirror is less story and much more gameplay. I don't know for certain if that's good or bad. I think I ended up enjoying Smoking Mirror more than Shadow of the Templars, but maybe I enjoyed it in a little bit different kind of way, or maybe I welcomed the change of pace after finishing the first game. I dunno.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSTDG0oQr3G4Np_vcUZkeK0KRt7j-y1HVDr0-WTP3LFiHiSVVQjYwmzIZtDSapiId5hT4C4ab-yBNXUPrPDAR1n97zWTetSysGpGwrbxsoGF2QCqEu5_cOmlKYNXdnHNHkACd1D2ClICI/s1600/brokensword2smokingmirror02.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSTDG0oQr3G4Np_vcUZkeK0KRt7j-y1HVDr0-WTP3LFiHiSVVQjYwmzIZtDSapiId5hT4C4ab-yBNXUPrPDAR1n97zWTetSysGpGwrbxsoGF2QCqEu5_cOmlKYNXdnHNHkACd1D2ClICI/s320/brokensword2smokingmirror02.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This game's a visual treat</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The story of Smoking Mirror unites George Stobbart with Nico Collard for another adventure several months after the events of the first game when Nico asks George to come back to Paris for some reason. As George's luck would have it, on the first day of meeting Nico she ends up getting kidnapped by Mayan indians and George is left tied to a chair in a locked room with a deadly spider advancing towards him, AND the place is on fire. That's how the game starts, and yes, it is indeed a very interesting ride even if the story has a tendency to take the backseat. The overall plot is about smugglers and some bad people trying to return an ancient Mayan god back to life to bring the end upon the world, but like said this "epic" sounding story just doesn't seem to ever be the thing to focus on and largely just acts as a vehicle to deliver the adventure and exploration and not the other way around, and perhaps this has something to do with what I said earlier about how the first game is structured so that you have your eyes set closer to home. In Smoking Mirror, after you release Nico from her captivity, you basically start the "main quest" immediately and see the end of the game coming waaaay before you're actually there, so all the smaller tasks like finding artifacts to defeat the ancient evil feel like pitstops and detours in the grand scheme of the plot.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLUc9wRmMgBv1dGM1DSvWsbv9VlwIBGnVhEgqBO-dZEXpOcWDMwnsxLl9BgwWEhC4JHEW4kpcNcZgkDmk6TeHLuoPi2Itr9eOcwHgHC1VZEbuuZLEnJqmBjURWKwyzPZQ-8Nm8K_5crE4/s1600/brokensword2smokingmirror03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLUc9wRmMgBv1dGM1DSvWsbv9VlwIBGnVhEgqBO-dZEXpOcWDMwnsxLl9BgwWEhC4JHEW4kpcNcZgkDmk6TeHLuoPi2Itr9eOcwHgHC1VZEbuuZLEnJqmBjURWKwyzPZQ-8Nm8K_5crE4/s320/brokensword2smokingmirror03.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love this bit and the next few screens after this</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Regardless of the story feeling less important, the game still offers the same old awesome writing that was endlessly amusing in the first game in the way of dialogue. Dialogue is still as witty and talking to people never feels like a drag. You in fact itch to talk to everyone about everything to see what they have to say. For example, there's a part where you must send a correct item from your inventory to a village shaman to get a chance to speak to him. In some other games you might try to choose the right items immediately in this kind of a situation, but here I can almost guarantee you will try out everything BUT the right item just to see what happens. And as you can guess, what happens is usally very amusing and worth the extra time spent dicking around. It's also important to note that in neither of the first two games messing about is so dangerous that you would have to save the game every step of the way. You can indeed die at certain points in both games, but what's nice is that you can always see when something is too dangerous to do without saving, and if you can't see the danger then someone will point it out before you rush blindly into it. So it's certainly not the death-fest Sierra games usually deliver. Although, sometimes excessive dying in adventure games is actually more fun than passing them flawlessly...<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj83Vg37hSU0ciIuwsiZ9bxv71ZYndMW5obeFtFk1O9KxqTQvhOCNGxTQSAaAwm5s9uu4kjSjmiGPYNH7a4KZOs4zpUj8J7sVjRYcvhytLbE-j8rP7QRo9HSpODzbK7tSEYTtlTxHIIh4c/s1600/brokensword3cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj83Vg37hSU0ciIuwsiZ9bxv71ZYndMW5obeFtFk1O9KxqTQvhOCNGxTQSAaAwm5s9uu4kjSjmiGPYNH7a4KZOs4zpUj8J7sVjRYcvhytLbE-j8rP7QRo9HSpODzbK7tSEYTtlTxHIIh4c/s1600/brokensword3cover.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon</b></span> is the third game and the first in 3D. I also assume it was made specifically for the consoles and only ported for PC, as it has no mouse support whatsoever and all actions are tied to four directional keys and four action keys with two or so "trigger" key actions. Sounds a lot like something fit for a PS2 controller.<br />
Sleeping Dragon is also regarded by Broken Sword fans as "utter garbage", and while I do not agree with that sentiment at all, I can sort of see what's going on in the heads of people who do. It's very different from the first two.<br />
<br />
The story of Sleeping Dragon begins with Nico getting framed for murder and having to track down the real assassin to clear her name, while at the very same time in a different corner of the world George is getting involved in yet another mess of cultists seeking mythical powers. The game keeps switching the character you play as back and forth until at one point the stories intertwine when George and Nico bump into each other and realize that they have a common enemy. The main villain in the game is largely the same from the first game and Sleeping Dragon is basically a continuation of the Templar theme.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKEDIXh_VArjIQJXA74Mfpz7y0kRPbdSvPPSzhngNoQg1bM6Vdxuv_8THuXsCasG5wD_Hdlt5zm5ZgvWlGB5KdXkla-HnCKk2MMuDvPM7wt-6OzHArdPRZZOdqN18eQaejwAcHR2o7wuM/s1600/brokenswordsleepingdragon02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKEDIXh_VArjIQJXA74Mfpz7y0kRPbdSvPPSzhngNoQg1bM6Vdxuv_8THuXsCasG5wD_Hdlt5zm5ZgvWlGB5KdXkla-HnCKk2MMuDvPM7wt-6OzHArdPRZZOdqN18eQaejwAcHR2o7wuM/s320/brokenswordsleepingdragon02.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Damn that Sewer Jacques!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The game doesn't feel a whole lot as good as the first two in many ways. Although the plot can be very interesting at several points and it's well written again, there is much less entertaining dialogue than before. Even though there are plenty of moments when you can tell the situation on-screen is supposed to be funny, it's not really as humouring as you might have learned to expect by now. There is still a lot real amusement to be found, sure, but there are often looong gaps between the truly interesting bits and the game can get at times a tiny bit boring. The game's ending is rewarding, though, which is welcomed after the rather brief ending screens of the first two games.<br />
<br />
Gameplay's changed quite drastically in Sleeping Dragon. Although it is still largely about investigating the scenery and using items with other items and talking to people, what's different is that there seems to be a LOT less points in the areas that you can interact with, so you won't be spending ages looking at everything like before, and you certainly won't have to bother your brain at all trying to figure out what to use with what because the "puzzles" are largely nonexistant and there are only a handful of points of interest that do not contribute to your progress in any way. If Shadow of the Templars was an easy adventure game, Sleeping Dragon is hardly even an adventure game in the first place. The fact that the game has roamable 3D-environments further highlights the sparsity of interactive entities, which is funny as well as sad when it was probably the designers' intention to make the game feel more alive <span style="font-size: x-small;">(or just to cater to kids who think that 2D = old 'n shit)</span>. When you look at a large area you can roam and there is only one single point of interest sticking out of the often dull scenery, it's really just more depressing than anything. It's another good example of what I often preach about, that being the game developers' desperate need to jump on technology bandwagons for the sake of being competitive without thinking what harm they might doing do their product. The scenery isn't ever AWFUL to look at, but it often could've also been better and even at it's prettiest it's still dead.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgLpfmDqYovjYdr0DIHamPYDg7UmiK0I3j-NC-Q9BQ54N_HpOhYA1p__3nsiH89rB0PVC-Ya5t-i_Wo9fPe0fn_RJpzIpAQGlVRTSLGBeD3Zs89KYLp_G6krzuHreHyHMQV-sBcqNc8-E/s1600/brokenswordsleepingdragon01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgLpfmDqYovjYdr0DIHamPYDg7UmiK0I3j-NC-Q9BQ54N_HpOhYA1p__3nsiH89rB0PVC-Ya5t-i_Wo9fPe0fn_RJpzIpAQGlVRTSLGBeD3Zs89KYLp_G6krzuHreHyHMQV-sBcqNc8-E/s320/brokenswordsleepingdragon01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exciting.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The 3D also poses a problem with your control over the character, because the camera is fixed and it's always eager to jump from corner to corner or spin around in it's own path while you're trying to navigate streets and hallways. Trying to keep the character running in a straight line without bumping into walls every three steps is incredibly frustrating, and there is even one point in the game where I failed an action sequence three times in a row only due to the camera flipping around, making the movement keys switch places at inopportune times and going ass-backwards from what the controls should've been considering the camera's new position. Instead of holding down to run towards the camera I had to stop, press up, stop and then hold down because the game had to take a moment to realize that down was now backwards. It was even sadder that this happened right after a lenghty, unskippable cutscene. Having the old survival-horror tank controls where up is always forward no matter the placement of the camera would ease the pain quite a bit. Or, using a joystick of a controller might work too, so I guess I suggest you just a controller no matter what you're playing the game on.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUouSBjKl5_AK2M4-ySeD9Of10lQuZDhT5KiQCxya8tR3-u6ElHSFKLdEQ5sE2FeFd6Mn5L9quw4QQB-z2FZRMWeRl_UdGkEbv0lQBfeTSZGsHrgu6d5iWIQjqZVUKapCtmBXwnwAnbs4/s1600/brokenswordsleepingdragon03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUouSBjKl5_AK2M4-ySeD9Of10lQuZDhT5KiQCxya8tR3-u6ElHSFKLdEQ5sE2FeFd6Mn5L9quw4QQB-z2FZRMWeRl_UdGkEbv0lQBfeTSZGsHrgu6d5iWIQjqZVUKapCtmBXwnwAnbs4/s320/brokenswordsleepingdragon03.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The new, more beautiful Nico Collard.<br />
She's in my top 3 sexiest female video game characters of all time.<br />
Yup. Right up there with Cate Archer and Tron Bonne.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Of course, being a 3D game that seems to be mainly a console game, there are also a few new things to "enrich" the "tired old" gameplay, such as brief platforming sections, crate-puzzles and quicktime events. You might think that's the last straw and decide to forget you ever heard of the game, but the game doesn't really drop these on you too often. Well, okay, it's a popular joke that Sleeping Dragon is mainly about pushing crates, but seriously, they're not that bad. The crate puzzles are simple and take less time than you'd think, the platforming sections are brief and relatively rare and I think there are only five or six quicktime events in total, you sort of see them coming and you only have to press X... I mean, down-action button once to pass them. It's more about activating something within a cutscene rather than playing Simon all of a sudden to be honest. There are also some sneaking sections, which for the most part are casually fun.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-scuBDQw6SRgzd2ZAeux_OScuJlPc9727NL4S7ihqxrRTklyljkkjha24ORGlhG9QkiLviWArFA4d-79d45vslk10GLBAa7Wtmq0kJxPB80rGIvhsXdd2E5Wz3jIiMIDkbpZIV5qfLC4/s1600/brokensword4aod.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-scuBDQw6SRgzd2ZAeux_OScuJlPc9727NL4S7ihqxrRTklyljkkjha24ORGlhG9QkiLviWArFA4d-79d45vslk10GLBAa7Wtmq0kJxPB80rGIvhsXdd2E5Wz3jIiMIDkbpZIV5qfLC4/s1600/brokensword4aod.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Broken Sword: The Angel of Death</b></span> a.k.a. <b>Secrets of the Ark: A Broken Sword Game</b> is the last game in the series and like Sleeping Dragon also boasts 3D-environments, but that's largely where the similarities end, because this game tries it's best to be more like the first two games. Mouse is once again your main tool of progression, you click everywhere to find items to pinch and then you use the items on other items. Instead of huge open spaces with boring background areas are of perfect size and often have enough details to make them seem more than just backdrops. Quicktime events do not exist, only a couple of boxes get pushed, platforming bits are even shorter, only a jump or two, and not at all as repetitive as in Sleeping Dragon.<br />
So, it's considerably closer the old fun, but there are still problems. Camera is still a bitch at times. That's the only problem I can actually think of right now... oh, yeah, and that fucking glitch that, for the second time, forced me to replay two hours of the game because the game got stuck. Hey, don't you tell me to save the game more often! I don't need to save, saving is for sissies!<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8-5yCl-LWN-2hyphenhyphenB_6g9g-JjiNz_btzloOvNn81J1OimtIjTDfCqj_VswsELpb6LloDQAHQ9wfhTza2ujowF2-TmpN05Eggp0ufKjLvcMzD2IlruTdJuOO8IpDeRW_DfTQHzyzBNztbA/s1600/brokenswordangelofdeath04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8-5yCl-LWN-2hyphenhyphenB_6g9g-JjiNz_btzloOvNn81J1OimtIjTDfCqj_VswsELpb6LloDQAHQ9wfhTza2ujowF2-TmpN05Eggp0ufKjLvcMzD2IlruTdJuOO8IpDeRW_DfTQHzyzBNztbA/s200/brokenswordangelofdeath04.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hacking</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The main new addition is the hacking minigame. Every now and then you need to find out something, a phone number for a company, information from a website George is locked out of by an asshole, security codes for locked doors or simple bomb defusal guides for when you have only ten minutes left to live, and that's when you begin hacking. The hacking minigame is a pretty fun one, but some of the final puzzles are pretty difficult to crack in my opinion. You have to place mirrors, tubes and dividers onto a grid in a way that allows a light beam to pass through nodes and end in the server, but this is made harder because you have to navigate past solid squares and avoid tripping alarms. It's a puzzle.<br />
<br />
The story this time doesn't tie into the previous games in any way, altough Templars and manuscripts are still often on the forefront. George has quit being a patent-lawyer and has instead started running a bail bonds office. A woman named Anna Maria comes to ask George for help because she's being followed by some mobsters that are after her valuable manuscript. The game begins with you escaping from the thugs and the tension doesn't often let up during George's quest to find out who are the bad guys, how to foil their plans and where and when does Nico come into play. The story holds your interest all the way to the bitter end, the places you go to are fun, and I dare say the dialogue is mostly better than what it was in Sleeping Dragon, the humour is actually funny. Jokes can sometimes seem a little bit more downplayed than what they were in the previous games, but not much and they're still actually very amusing.<br />
<table align="right" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsPFJOVAMDrXFt8J3NF10iK0tT6ndG5RZtT5H3-WgMYuvdT8Q8Lr2LTI8AUJiEos_mkorOTD1I3RqdbQTtEQvuSvMvzl8L9U02GUluA_ERw8SX34RbkCXUZHNkrY6yjefrh4SfoaLh_Dw/s1600/brokenswordangelofdeath01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsPFJOVAMDrXFt8J3NF10iK0tT6ndG5RZtT5H3-WgMYuvdT8Q8Lr2LTI8AUJiEos_mkorOTD1I3RqdbQTtEQvuSvMvzl8L9U02GUluA_ERw8SX34RbkCXUZHNkrY6yjefrh4SfoaLh_Dw/s200/brokenswordangelofdeath01.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why doesn't George just stay in Paris? I would. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>The one big problem the story has is the ending. It's very, very abrupt and what's worse is that it's a downer, which really sucks after the very positive ending of Sleeping Dragon. I'm guessing maybe a fifth game was planned, and I really hope it's actually made, because I'd hate to see the series end in such a downer. Sure the ending is different from the previous three and yes it catches you off guard, but it's also crap and short and when the credits begin rolling you just sit there staring at the screen asking yourself "what the fuck?". I don't want to spoil what little could be spoiled, but if you think of playing the game yourself, don't get your hopes up, kid.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I don't think I have too much to say about Broken Sword games anymore. Maybe I should've started writing this post sooner, huh? I bet you could write five times as much about each of the games if you got in the correct mood.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQXBMJvEYIiabcQvqxHg6Y7OM1vrBVE-V8FppPNsPkEsDONFgx7sr77yN-HiQflNmY_kmcWtwnFznjjNOLd-sGTtVop1_cYDRHkqkrYiYVFPEkFvDuz2xDXZtUCo7pk_0kTBRK56GX87k/s1600/brokenswordangelofdeath03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQXBMJvEYIiabcQvqxHg6Y7OM1vrBVE-V8FppPNsPkEsDONFgx7sr77yN-HiQflNmY_kmcWtwnFznjjNOLd-sGTtVop1_cYDRHkqkrYiYVFPEkFvDuz2xDXZtUCo7pk_0kTBRK56GX87k/s320/brokenswordangelofdeath03.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At one point George has to decapitate 25 gang members on video for a<br />
mad director. Well, it would be an interesting turn of events, don't you think?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
My final thought on the entire series is that I highly recommed the games. The first two, Shadow of the Templars and Smoking Mirror are the kind of games that will undoubtedly find their way into people's lists of classic games 'till the end of time, and although the other two aren't the same undying "classic" material, I have no reason at all to discourage people from playing them. Sleeping Dragon may be the weakest of the four but it's still a decent enough game and definitely worth a playthrough, and Angel of Death is a quality game and a blast at least the first time through because the puzzles in it are pretty much the variety that you could imagine seeing in the originals and all four games offer challenges solvable with logic to go along with smart and entertaining writing. How invested you become in the story of each game is largely dependant on yourself. Still, even if you have trouble with the plot, Rolf Saxon's awesome George Stobbart is the same likable guy in all of the games even if some of the other voice actors tend to blow quite a bit, and through his lead you should be able to survive the occasional dips in quality.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbOVQVwakyL3Q5OV5x539jDRvJ_nEK-pUrG5JQSEwCVlZbojXb8xj5aKGn3r56LSVL8fp7__6fSg7kgWfnyUCLs3huipAQ_CwMAg6Au1ZzdLjMuoLr2fIDcw4DW1my_GCahp7hh_LQBU/s1600/brokenswordangelofdeath02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbOVQVwakyL3Q5OV5x539jDRvJ_nEK-pUrG5JQSEwCVlZbojXb8xj5aKGn3r56LSVL8fp7__6fSg7kgWfnyUCLs3huipAQ_CwMAg6Au1ZzdLjMuoLr2fIDcw4DW1my_GCahp7hh_LQBU/s200/brokenswordangelofdeath02.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sigh</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Seriously, the haters that say the two newer games suck and should be avoided at all cost are greatly exaggerating, at least in my opinion.<br />
Go play Broken Sword is what I say. Especially the first two.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">All but first two screenshots grabbed from <a href="http://www.mobygames.com/">MobyGames</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Forgot to take screenshots of Smoking Mirror,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">technology prevented from doing it in Sleeping Dragon,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">couldn't be arsed with Angel of Death.</span></div>Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-250486278423690812011-07-28T02:07:00.001+03:002011-07-28T02:14:38.664+03:00I gave in to the twemptationYou should know that I don't usually take part in these hip new Internet... things, but I reckon twitter's been around long enough now that it's not cool to have a twitter account anymore, and so I assume it's safe for me to finally have one as well. I like to lag behind everyone, that's why I haven't posted my L.A. Noire review yet. I wait until the subject matter is old and uninteresting enough that nobody particularly yearns to read about it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, here's my twitter:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.twitter.com/OscarPhyre">http://www.twitter.com/OscarPhyre</a><br />
<br />
Finally I will be able to post short messages to no one in particular about nothing in particular, all the while following my all time favourite personalities, like... uh... no one in particular, I guess.<br />
<br />
Well, I have a twitter. It's also visible on the right side of this blog so all you 4 people can look at it once a month. Let's see how long I can manage to find it interesting enough to update.<br />
<br />
And let's also see how long it takes me to get one follower. I'm not a person so it should take quite a while.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6290096371102545606.post-69736227923094333702011-07-22T19:20:00.002+03:002011-07-23T11:22:30.363+03:00I learned a new joke from Overlord II: Fat people.Alright, so a few things similar to what I've blogged about before have happened again so why not try and update the blog more than once a month.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago I started doing some almost regular exercising, because to my amazement I noticed one day that I actually have grown a little bit of a stomach. Not a whole lot, but just noticeable. Some of you might tell me that of course I'm getting fat when all I do is eat, sit and play video games and my only daily exercise is a half a minute jerking of my knob, but it's weird to me because despite years of inactivity and eating junk food and sweets I've most often been sickly thin and below the normal weight for a guy my height. I thought it might be a good idea to do some pre-emptive weight-losing if the 20-year-old tapeworm I must've had in me has died and can't keep me spaghetti-thin and pathethic looking anymore. And maybe someday, if I exercise continuously for several years, I manage to grow enough muscle somewhere to garner some lonely female's admiration. I do have one strong muscle already, but I've been to court for showing it off to girls publicly.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb-rYMYXqwfzSEVQkQL5KdX0H2gUF1-i0Vjy3zErFt6ZzGLbBjHBOoLCKHZiM9g3a5MqCL870TCX93kBzRhUS0y67-kLa9sSFlS7hfnXhCwazOuCODuvSByG8No3lt9dEGs5zPN0Cdzqs/s1600/2011-07-15+18-09-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb-rYMYXqwfzSEVQkQL5KdX0H2gUF1-i0Vjy3zErFt6ZzGLbBjHBOoLCKHZiM9g3a5MqCL870TCX93kBzRhUS0y67-kLa9sSFlS7hfnXhCwazOuCODuvSByG8No3lt9dEGs5zPN0Cdzqs/s1600/2011-07-15+18-09-13.jpg" /></a>I also went to my favourite game shop one day, because being the stupid ass that I am I thought it would be a good idea to buy Hitman: Blood Money for PS2 just so I can record a walkthrough of the game in some form. I bought it new and paid the same amount for it that I paid for the first three games in total, so I hope somebody watches the videos.<br />
Why do I put money into walkingthrough even a year and a half after I quit it when I know I never get anything back? And then YouTube's robots shove copyright infringement notifications down my throat like some lifer showing the prison bitch who's in charge, and although a lot of the claims are false and I could prove it if given a chance I'm sometimes too scared to dispute them because 1) there's no dispute option for "the asshole is cheating Google AdSense to get revenue for nothing" and 2) because some of the groups who make the claims are "notable" enough that I have no chance in hell against them in the credibility contest. I'm just left crying in the showers and being thankful they didn't do it in my pooper this time. Oh, well, 'tis an old story that I seem to like to moan about every time I can and this is probably the 257th time I've begun berating YouTube, or mostly Google, for being evil.<br />
But yeah, Blood Money, uploading now. All levels are recorded and edited already, just uploading them at about one day intervals.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v6J7BuM2DVBSsVeWV8EDyhM3_MELFKqM5t8rnX6bOXKjWsxin08uRtWySyK7TWlZmWaDFd_jd48gDJ7fldSClZhgmkIv8ApQHGUu6IV1RIE4AygxxPdnUFFvfAdupPh6vXUp34B2p3A/s1600/overlordiicover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v6J7BuM2DVBSsVeWV8EDyhM3_MELFKqM5t8rnX6bOXKjWsxin08uRtWySyK7TWlZmWaDFd_jd48gDJ7fldSClZhgmkIv8ApQHGUu6IV1RIE4AygxxPdnUFFvfAdupPh6vXUp34B2p3A/s200/overlordiicover.jpg" width="173" /></a></div>I also bought Overlord II for PS3 when I was in the shop and I had the idea that I'd record a walkthrough of it as well since I have one done for the first game and it's add-on already. Unfortunately you won't see me playing it for one very good reason: the game sucks. It's so crap that I don't think I'll even finish it once to see how it ends.<br />
When I recorded the walkthrough of the first Overlord game, I may have been overly critical when talking about it because around the time I bought it I was going through the "I hate everything next-gen" phase that most gamers undergo at least once in their life. The truth is, Overlord was AWESOME, and so was the add-on. Not flawless, but hell of a blast to play through. The game was long despite being linear, it had a wacky style of lampooning known fantasy stories and themes and being honestly funny about it, it had an actual story to it, it had actual characters and it had several fun levels with varying themes and enemies and obstacles to beat.<br />
Overlord II on the other hand, although I haven't yet finished it, doesn't seem to reach the level of fun the first game had. Firstly, although it would seem to have a very solid basis for a good story in the beginning with the introductionary level having you play as the Overlord when he was just a child and causing mayhem in his home town and making a friend when this red-haired girl helps him get even with the mean kids, by the end of what I'd call the first chapter all intriguing story related issues presented in the beginning are resolved. Without even having a decent battle or actually challenging obtrusions in your path you've beaten the man responsible for your exile from your home, taken over the town and made the now grown-up red-head childhood friend your mistress. Oops, there's that storyline done and motive to fight lost, now to just follow linear paths wherever they might lead. Of course the bad guy you beat in the beginning is just a lackey and there is a bigger threat out there trying to take over the world, but as a player I have lost my interest in tracking down some poor schmucks I haven't actually ever met. OK, I'm the Overlord and I aim to conquer, steal and destroy and I know there exists an opposing faction aiming to also put and end to my reign of terror some day and I might as well take the fight to them, but that evil entity is something I, as a viewer of the story, have no actual interest in.<br />
The first game had a very subtle way of leading you from place to place without you seeing any definitive end goal until the moment the Wizard appeared and finally allowed you to find a meaning in everything you did throughout the game. You were constantly drawn to the next area because there was something there you, the player, knew about and wanted to explore/steal/destroy/kill. Overlord II is leading me blindly through narrow paths without me realizing what purpose exploring the new paths would serve.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3H849TeDWApTMo8IEO78LQVAOHMSU-pFgS7Il2ssyUKNnKNExD-XMT3tIiXJ9e8JxuGKHxnRQnRJINbC0XphSkm80EwifIOrIoGGhrdvHFZmFr5VzTIrcv6MqxEaNVHHuWBdXe3_OlIc/s1600/overlordiisnow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3H849TeDWApTMo8IEO78LQVAOHMSU-pFgS7Il2ssyUKNnKNExD-XMT3tIiXJ9e8JxuGKHxnRQnRJINbC0XphSkm80EwifIOrIoGGhrdvHFZmFr5VzTIrcv6MqxEaNVHHuWBdXe3_OlIc/s1600/overlordiisnow.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I <b>really</b> like the visuals, but the level design sucks</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The story and a motive to see an end to the New Order being non-existant is a bummer enough, but lack of story is no problem to me if the levels are fun. Sadly, Overlord II's world has been a boring one. Levels are just sort of fluff gameplay sections that are normally created just to pad out a game to make it longer or to separate heavier events or gameplay sections so that the experience doesn't feel rushed, but unfortunately all Overlord II has is fluff with nothing interesting happening almost ever. OK, I sort of enjoyed playing the bit at the beginning as a kid terrorizing the locals and I kind of liked the part in the Empire Building where you controlled a green minion in order to bring the green hive to the tower gate, but apart from those bits the game has been very unentertaining. With the first Overlord I enjoyed pretty much every minute and every area. I found it FUN to ransack the Halfling Homes and kill sleeping Halflings and I found it FUN to eplore the Heaven's Peak sewers killing off hordes of zombies. Overlord II's areas are just boring and repetitive, there's only a couple of differently themed ones and they feel like they were just cutouts from the first game. And there's only two shitty little towns? What?<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dWHF_9ARX3vI7nx3yzgOLjBTl4v6pAnUUfgdSzTSyuSizs-o4qK9GhU93rHZxPiZ6amxqkPHL6Ztu1QJpg5UwNp3xlgsykEZs0920oCO8qlPKgLrM0sK35Tf5N9I4fBwKm1DRcK_2zs/s1600/overlordiimistress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dWHF_9ARX3vI7nx3yzgOLjBTl4v6pAnUUfgdSzTSyuSizs-o4qK9GhU93rHZxPiZ6amxqkPHL6Ztu1QJpg5UwNp3xlgsykEZs0920oCO8qlPKgLrM0sK35Tf5N9I4fBwKm1DRcK_2zs/s1600/overlordiimistress.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Big breasts on a slim body mean that she is interesting and everything<br />
she says is funny while she's in trouble because she's hot piece of ass.<br />
At least that's what the devs would like to tell you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>What's a real disappointment is that the game isn't even funny. The first one was very funny and if I dare say the ridiculous humour was in a sense very classy, but Overlord II... dear me, apart from everything lifted from the first game, all Overlord II has is forced jokes a 11-year-old comes up with. It's actually very easy to imagine how the creative process of this game went as far as the writing goes. I believe it went exactly like this:<br />
<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Sir, we're worried about the future of this project. I think we've used all the best, most funniest material for the previous game already, and we're having trouble coming up with new things to poke fun at and at this rate the game will be a short one.<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> No probs, kid. Just remember that the minions are energetic screaming morons, all people are dumb cowards, Gnarl hates everything fluffy and the mistresses are nagging pairs of large tits devoid of any personality, because nagging women are funny and large tits are both humorous and make men more interested in the game.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Yes, yes, I've got all that but the game has to have at least a few new jokes not seen in the first game. I was thinking, there's these mermaids who--<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> ...are fat. Next.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Oh, yeah, ha ha. 'Cause classic mermaids are depicted as beautiful young women, so these ones are fat. Well, anyway, we need to somehow make the game's main villain, the Empire, a little more lighthearted but still have them be something the player will want to eradicate from the world and--<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> ...so you make all of them fat. Nobody likes fatties, and they're easy to laugh at. Because they're fat.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Well... I suppose it works out alright. Their population has become fat and lazy and obnoxious thanks to slave labour and new machinery catering to their every wish. Ok. Then I thought about a brief appearance from some fairies since we haven't used them before, and Roy thought that it would be funny if--<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> ...they were fat.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Sir, I don't think that actually works as a joke at this point.<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> Hmm... make them act like old ladies. Fat old ladies. Fat old ladies that are almost naked. Their repulsive naked fat bodies will be the source of laughter for everyone who hates fatties. Which is everyone.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Uhh... alright, whatever. We still have some issues about how the elves should act and look like, and they're the other recurring enemy of the game so we need something really good.<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> They're fa-- wait, no. We had them in the previous game already and they were thin. Hmm... You know Postal 2? Take it's basic template for the crazy activist and make that a kid friendly hippie type who loves everything fluffy.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> I suppose I have to, then.<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> And kid?<br />
<b>Worker:</b> Yes?<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> Their priestesses are fat.<br />
<b>Worker:</b> ...Fat.<br />
<b>Overseer:</b> Yup. Fat.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHSRFp3LVPti1CuZXjmlOeoZUXvVp0bN9hDTp9gTR7ylY693Cu5bFYJYxC_8j-oBC4eneZaRkbiRtyKlodc0MFBhwesGb3aoFrHzN8daUC-E2-lVQPD8MjrN-VYecjeOzqeFklCKJT6B8/s1600/overlordiifatguy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHSRFp3LVPti1CuZXjmlOeoZUXvVp0bN9hDTp9gTR7ylY693Cu5bFYJYxC_8j-oBC4eneZaRkbiRtyKlodc0MFBhwesGb3aoFrHzN8daUC-E2-lVQPD8MjrN-VYecjeOzqeFklCKJT6B8/s1600/overlordiifatguy.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's fat. It's funny.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I have to admit, I am a gifted playwright if I do say so myself. Of course this little play I wrote doesn't really depict two real life people talking, instead the characters are representations of the two main creative forces behind any game: the worker who enjoys his craft and wishes to only produce something of good quality to entertain the audience without exception, and the overseer who wants to streamline everything and is desperately trying to make a project go forward even when no direction has been chosen, having the final say in everything, aiming to always finish a project rather than finish a project with dignity. Both these "people" can live in one person and most often do. I'm saying this so I won't be insulting any one particular person that I have never met.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLucxY4oUE8YiKgvw-LocNiAIjpOkkHr0yTErEqaV794dqt-t2JDfgTuxax9p-AgSQXSiRD_SE9z_6Uh5Wiu4M9pCQJ5aD16pC-JKTfclJmL2gwQ4odNBZQYB5QMeCLk5-k8LGIYMReU/s1600/overlordiifairy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxLucxY4oUE8YiKgvw-LocNiAIjpOkkHr0yTErEqaV794dqt-t2JDfgTuxax9p-AgSQXSiRD_SE9z_6Uh5Wiu4M9pCQJ5aD16pC-JKTfclJmL2gwQ4odNBZQYB5QMeCLk5-k8LGIYMReU/s1600/overlordiifairy.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She's fat, so she's funny.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Regardless, the exchange between the Overseer and Worker in my visionary dialogue is accurate. The recurring joke of the game is that female characters that aren't the mistresses or regular elves are fat. I admit, fatness can be amusing in some scenarios, but as a person who could apparently become fat in the future, and who has some sense of humour, I don't really think making every character in the game fat is enough to make it a decent parody of anything. Oh, here's an idea I have for a movie: it's a parody of Aliens, but get this; the aliens are fat, and the marines are fat too except for the lead and the nameless chick with large breasts, and then there's this old lady who has a cat that's also fat, and a fat alien eats the fat cat and farts and the fat lady hits the fat alien with her cane but falls over. The End! What a funny story, Mark.<br />
The first Overlord has a fat guy in it as well, a really fat guy, in the form of Melvin Underbelly the Halfling Hero, but you know why it works in his case? He's not fat just because. There's a good reason for it: every one of the heroes you defeat represents one of the deadly sins and for Melvin it's gluttony. He's a halfling, someone who is supposed to be very small, but he has gone so insane about eating all the time that he has become several times larger than a normal human and he has gone so far he doesn't even shy away from cannibalism to satisfy his hunger. In Raising Hell his fatness is made much more humorous through what I would call ingenious little gameplay obstacles, minigames where his round shape is used to proceed through the level. It works there, but here just the fact things are fat is supposed to be funny.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfsDvOLOGKPM9xGKgnKFEroUU1X0n_w1MB-yVV0lRiHqHUpKGKRyEjBc0lmRmHjCWkzYr11AwgWWACAYtwVl0fzL-vzCk9RcnuzoLSpZvgAz6nlNpjv1s0WcTUuGoO3wugOOUE9Os4y9w/s1600/overlordiimermaid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfsDvOLOGKPM9xGKgnKFEroUU1X0n_w1MB-yVV0lRiHqHUpKGKRyEjBc0lmRmHjCWkzYr11AwgWWACAYtwVl0fzL-vzCk9RcnuzoLSpZvgAz6nlNpjv1s0WcTUuGoO3wugOOUE9Os4y9w/s200/overlordiimermaid.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fat mermaid. Hilarious.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Just to note, I don't know what I'm saying anymore, it's 2.:25 AM and I have a headache because I caught a cold one warm summer day.<br />
<br />
Ok, so the game isn't completely without it's charms when it comes to humour as I have found some things very amusing, I have to admit. Gnarl is still as funny as ever, I liked the two sentences the one Nordbergian man says about how <i>he also once in the past...</i> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I wish it was a longer running joke)</span> and I liked the introduction to the gnomes, it was a very funny scene. I also thought the part where the gnome, in order to save his life, hides under the to-be mistress' skirt, looks up and goes ecstatic. It's an often used joke that for example a much funnier parody-comedy game called Conker's Bad Fur Day also used, but a classic one. Also, as gnomes in this game are very tiny little balls of hair, it's logical that one would fancy the unshaved crotch of a human female; it probably looks like a female gnome with a large vagina. I'd pork a female gnome too given the chance, I think, if only there weren't the obvious physical differences preventing me. Wouldn't do it with a large gnome, though. Who'd want to shag a fatty?<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiK_450q9FajHEAKmBhZFbBQbia58Jxrs8Xgun7MrWwG3X40hQXw1C34j_kexxhylKLIkHM3xrz8Xz_nhYTbHMTmFBVhFg0HJogwMDIGfypECKqyAR4SXYdLBkC-blSRTwwLnhrPWC9QI/s1600/overlordiipriestess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiK_450q9FajHEAKmBhZFbBQbia58Jxrs8Xgun7MrWwG3X40hQXw1C34j_kexxhylKLIkHM3xrz8Xz_nhYTbHMTmFBVhFg0HJogwMDIGfypECKqyAR4SXYdLBkC-blSRTwwLnhrPWC9QI/s1600/overlordiipriestess.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fat women. That's a new one.<br />
Get the fat joke yet? It's that they're fat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The other crap in the game is... well, crap as well for the most part. Characters are so forgettable I can't remember who, if any of them, have made any actual appearances. No, I honestly had trouble remembering if the person on screen was supposed to be someone they showed before. Only the mistressess are people you recognize. Kelda was easy because she was obviously the one kid who liked the Witch boy and the other one has her gigantic tits zoomed in on whenever she's in a cutscene, and unlike all the Imperial women she's not actually fat so she's easy to differentiate from others. I don't think there's really even been any other actual story-related characters. Borius was just a generic fat 'tard with about two lines of dialogue total before getting an anti-climactic death.<br />
The spells in the game are more of an afterthought than anything, and I don't even think the Halo spell works. Nothing happens when I try it. There's three spells with two different possible effects that don't help you any. Overlord at least had me using the boost and fear spells a lot in fights to ensure victory, here all I do is burn random trees.<br />
Apart from the green hive section entering a minion's body has been less fun than it should, providing only a better look at an obstacle you could handle with just sweeping the minions around were there any vantage point for the Overlord. The sailing of the ship, annoying. It's so damn slow and clunky and serves little purpose other than to make a small area of the map take longer to finish.<br />
The game actually feels less like a full game than the add-on to the first game, Raising Hell. How do you achieve that?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoh6BEc7yZAGs4w8SVpqqbiqpB8HqaCHYcPtBJL1gupiW5MHkmt0zsoY6Y5gyypuxlsWEC7ipL0rumh-aj283vuN1Ds66QP0COU5hk64YqS1QZDKcGqYNzQsv53_TuvFTtcVojZFkXA0/s1600/overlordiielves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRoh6BEc7yZAGs4w8SVpqqbiqpB8HqaCHYcPtBJL1gupiW5MHkmt0zsoY6Y5gyypuxlsWEC7ipL0rumh-aj283vuN1Ds66QP0COU5hk64YqS1QZDKcGqYNzQsv53_TuvFTtcVojZFkXA0/s1600/overlordiielves.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elves.<br />
Not sure if I'm supposed to laugh. Would help if they were fat.<br />
Lol, fat elves! Where do I come up with this shit?!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Yeah, Overlord II has been so disappointing thus far that I don't even know if I'll finish it once. I might give it another go someday when I'm well again as I may be too harsh on it just because I've taken ill and can't necessarily focus on any video games, but considering I've written this blog post under the same illness, I would imagine it's safe to say playing Overlord II is more boring than writing a boring blog post like this in the middle of the night for no particular reason.<br />
But, maybe Overlord II picks up the pace eventually, and if you believe I were mistaken when judging it harshly based on only the entire first half of the game then please let me know soon so that I can go and finish it and enjoy whatever greatness the developers might've saved for the end.<br />
<br />
Since my last birthday I have had the part accidental habit of buying my games in bunches of threes, and I didn't break the combo yet. I also bought a PC adventure game called Gray Matter. I have seen that name on the shop's website several times but have never paid much attention to it, thinking it was just another cheap quiz show game or logic puzzle game. It's not, it's actually a point n' click adventure game from the creator of Gabriel Knight. I have no clear recollection of which adventure game series Gabriel Knight is, the series that's absolute shit or the series that's said to be great that I have never ever seen in action, but I decided to buy Gray Matter because... I... don't play adventure games a lot? Now that I think of it, why did I buy it? Why did I buy anything? Well, I'll try the game out someday once I've finally gotten around to playing through the Broken Sword games I've bought in the past. Got all four of them and have only played the fourth one, because I'm not big on adventure games. Why DO I buy adventure games? Maybe I'm hoping that by playing adventure games I become smart, I don't know.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-yMLteDJU_wJB_eWn7wvJ29zhFVBiB3ZIYTXFDHlPirz69UliPXDZZtFMd1BV_-lYXbOZWcXNZSJxrk5cicHUb0KPshCXJ3PhepKSkxGW8ihkmL8vw6mCHKfH6XMYKdOgVglWZxbrE0/s1600/johnnyfoxs-LPs-have-fans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-yMLteDJU_wJB_eWn7wvJ29zhFVBiB3ZIYTXFDHlPirz69UliPXDZZtFMd1BV_-lYXbOZWcXNZSJxrk5cicHUb0KPshCXJ3PhepKSkxGW8ihkmL8vw6mCHKfH6XMYKdOgVglWZxbrE0/s320/johnnyfoxs-LPs-have-fans.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two people who the LP nazis on my ass would like to hang.<br />
I was going to black out their names to protect the innocent,<br />
but then I realized that no one is innocent</td></tr>
</tbody></table>That's about it. A lot of people have been asking for LPs again, or Fukkarounds as I would like to call them due to the "original" (not the original, the "original") Let's Players being a bunch of whiney ass nazi punks who cry at you if you don't follow the "official" LP formula, but I don't know if I ever get around to recording more, because I personally don't get anything out of the videos and I actually hate my commentary so much I never even listened to it while editing. God damn microphone I bought will just be sitting useless in the closet, tied to a metallic pipe with a belt because I needed a makeshift stand that I never used.<br />
Might not be writing a whole lot of posts this summer either, as you may have noticed, as it's just too fucking hot and I can't bother. Shame, because I had a lot of screenshots taken of a few games I specifically prepared to rant in length about few months back and I just never got around to writing them. Maybe some day, when I'm cold and lonely again.<br />
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By the way, I really like that Blogger has updated the compose mode so that when I switch between HTML and compose it remembers the spot where I was on both modes. Don't need to scroll around as much anymore when making sure everything works out alright.<br />
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Now I must end this fat dominated post.Johnny Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08079081453213508658noreply@blogger.com0